Pink Ribbons
by Darveylife
Summary: She was in the shower like every other day but today was nothing like any other day. She felt it and she knew exactly what it meant she had just hoped she was wrong. She needed to be wrong because she couldn't deal with this right now but there it was a lump on her breast and that always led to one thing.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter One- Decisions_

"Miss Paulsen I'm sorry to say that the biopsy we did on the mass on your breast turned out to be malignant…"

Donna's head started to spin at the Doctors words. She had heard of all these people having breast cancer, after all it is the most common cancer in women, but she still never expected for her to get it. She had found the lump on her breast a few days ago and was pretty sure something was wrong, after all she is Donna, and so she decided to get an emergency appointment at the doctors. Although she always thought in the back of her mind that it was defiantly cancer the optimistic in her still held some hope, which had now been thoroughly crushed this news. It was malignant. Donna noticed as soon as she walked in the room the news wasn't good. The doctor only briefly looked up at her as she entered and then started swirling a pen around his fingers. He wore a smile but it was obviously fake as it did not spread to his eyes. Finally there was a slight undertone of pity in his voice as he asked her how she was. Avoidance of eye contact; fiddling; fake smile and pity, all signs that something was wrong Donna had thought as she sat down. She then started to mentally prepare herself for the words to come but as the doctor spoke she realized that she was not prepared at all. She just sat there staring at a small scar just above the doctor's eye brow as he spoke. Unable to move trying she did her best to not burst into tears.

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid it is cancer and I would like to recommend some treatment options so we can get started as soon as possible. We will do some more scans and tests before we start anything but I want to make sure you have a good support system to help you though this. Cancer is a difficult thing to overcome and you are going to need people around you to help you through it. Is there anyone you would like to call to be with you before I go into the details?"

It took a few moments for Donna to register that she had been asked a question and needed to speak but as she opened her mouth to reply she started to think. Who could she call? He parents perhaps but they lived to far away and she didn't want to make them worry. Besides she was a grown woman she didn't want or need to call them. She then thought about who she would most want here. The answer was Harvey but he was her boss and she decided it would be inappropriate as much as she craved him there right now. Rachel was another possibility but between the firm law school and planning her wedding she is simply too busy and the last thing Donna wanted to do was burden her. Anyway Mike had only just got out of jail and Donna was not about to load on more bad news. So that was settled she would just have to go through it alone for now, until she decided what she was going to do.

"Umm… no, its fine you can just explain it to me" Donna managed to muster up a fake smile to convince the doctor she would be able to cope, however inside she felt as scared as she had ever felt before. You have no idea how much she wanted Harvey there to comfort her and tell her again that he would not let anything happen to her but she just couldn't call him. She had always been the one there to help and support him not the other way around. That's not what their relationship was like. Although she wasn't exactly sure where they stood with each other anymore she was certain that it was not the kind of relationship where you can call because you are scared, she was a grown independent woman after all.

"Well okay, but next time I see you I want you to bring someone along just to keep you company and so that I know you have someone to help you"

Donna nodded but still didn't know when, how or who she was going to tell. It's not something you can slip into an everyday conversation. After 30 minutes sat with the doctor where he had discussed radiation, chemotherapy, breast-conserving surgery, a partial mastectomy and a full mastectomy she had left feeling confused and scared. What the hell was she going to do now? She had been told to take a few days to think about her options and she had another appointment midway through the next week where they would set up a treatment plan. She almost felt like this was all happening way to fast but the doctor had said the sooner they act the better her chances. The word chances suddenly triggered the thought in her brain that it was possible that she may not survive this.

It was a Sunday and she knew that tomorrow she would have to go to work and pretend that everything was fine tomorrow. One hair out of place and Harvey wold know something was wrong so she had the rest of the day to pull herself together. Since Mike had gone to jail and the firm was crumbling everyone was relying on her. Though some of the pressure had been relieved when Mike returned she knew that people (and when I say people I mean Harvey) were still relying on her. She pulled out a bottle of red wine and the biggest glass she could find, filling it almost full of the dark garnet coloured liquid. She then sat on her sofa and let herself think all the deepest and darkest fears in the back of her mind. After drinking the whole bottle of wine her eyes became heavy and she eventually moved into her bed, drifting off to sleep.

That evening she had been thinking about how she was alone with no on to talk to. Yes she had people who cared about her and that she loved deeply but no one who she felt she could share this life changing news with. Everyone had had such a rough time lately and she didn't want to add to anything. She however craved company, the company of one particular man to be precise, Harvey. This led to her having a dream that she was not quite expecting. That night she had dreamt that she was lying in her bed warm and content with his arm draped around her. She could almost smell his cologne and it was the small details like that made the dream seem all too real. The warmth of his body made her skin burn and the slight smell of his favorite scotch wafted around the room. As she started to wake up the next morning she had decided to blame the dream on all the wine she had consumed but deep down she knew that it was so much more than that.

Glancing over at the alarm clock on her bedside table, it read 6:05 in big red letters. Although this was earlier than she would usually get up she figured she could use the extra time to make herself more presentable trying desperately to hide the after effects of drinking and crying the previous night. She slipped on a plain black dress, quickly grabbing one of her least favorite designer bags as she left her apartment. She actually ended up leaving half an hour early resulting in some extra time before work. This was something she was not grateful for as it gave her time to think and right now that was the last thing she wanted to do. You know when you just want to be busy so that you can pretend what is happening to you isn't happening; well that's exactly what Donna needed that morning. It wasn't working particularly well though no matter what meaningless task she carried out her brain just went straight back to that word. Cancer.

Everything seemed so different now she thought as she strode onto the fiftieth floor of the firms building. Nothing had changed from when she had left the office on Friday evening but the halls felt longer, the people seemed even scarcer and the ding of the elevator just seemed duller to her. She sighed as she placed her bag by her chair and sat down at her cubicle. Harvey was not in yet, which was not unusual, but she had kind of hoped he would be there as he always managed to cheer her up and make her smile when she was feeling down. Whether it was with his mischievous smirk, cocky demeanor or witty sense of humor, Donna liked him being around when she was feeling down. It was the familiarity between them she thought; knowing someone for 12 years. However she was wrong it was so much more than that.

She had been in work for about an hour before Harvey turned up. Donna had been staring at her computer screen not actually doing anything substantial since she had arrived and she had forgotten to get Harvey's daily cup of coffee with a dash of vanilla. So much for trying to hide what was going wrong. Harvey was bound to notice that she had forgotten and he knew as well as she did that Donna did not just simply forget to do something. This rang the first alarm bell in Harvey's head that something was not quite right.

"Donna" Harvey smirked as he leant against her cubicle "Are you forgetting something?"

"What?" she was kind of absent since she couldn't stop thinking about the fact she had been diagnosed with fricking cancer.

"My coffee? Did you forget?" Donna never forgot his coffee he thought, in fact Donna was never this absent either, and she always had an attention for detail but today she seemed off, like she was distracted.

"Oh um yeh sorry"

"Donna is everything okay?"

No! She had wanted to scream but instead she sported a simple "yeh, I'm good" and the fakest smile that Harvey had ever seen. Shit, she thought to herself, she had told herself this morning that she would be composed and ready for work like nothing was wrong.

"Donna what's wrong?" He was not for one second buying that she was fine; she looked as though she could cry at any second which broke his heart just a little. He had never been able to handle a crying Donna. Although come to think of it he had never seen her properly cry, he eyes had glossed over on a few rare occasions and she had used her actressing skills to fake cry when she needed something but he had never seen her cry for real. Right now he was scared that he might have to witness it for the first time.

"Nothing" Damn it she though as tears welled up in her eyes, she swore that she wasn't going to cry but she was so close it was pathetic. She couldn't even hold it together for the few hours she was at the firm. She barely recognized herself at the moment.

"Donna my office, obviously something is wrong and I can't help if you won't tell me what so come and tell me what's wrong" he turned into his office gesturing towards the couch so that he and Donna could sit down. He knew whatever it was that it was serious as Donna was never off her game. By not allowing her the choice of whether to talk or not he was hoping she would be forced to spill whatever was affecting her this much.

"So… you going to tell me what's on your mind then" Donna knew this question was coming but she also knew that she was not ready to answer it. She didn't want to become the poor sick secretary with cancer who needed everyone's love and support because she might die. She liked to be the witty sassy red head that people came to for advice since she knew everything. She knew that as soon as people found out that would all change. Although in the back of her mind she did want to tell someone, especially Harvey, so that she could share the burden with him. Harvey was always there to protect her maybe she could just tell him. He values loyalty and trust and if she asked he wouldn't tell anybody right? Maybe she could tell Harvey?

"Umm…" Should I tell him or should I not? Donna thought "It's nothing really its fine" Nope just a few more hours without pity would be great she had decided. Also she just couldn't bring herself to tell him, he already was sporting a very worried look how could she tell him now knowing how he could possibly react. Besides she hadn't brought herself to actually saying the dreaded word yet.

"Bullshit, Donna tell me what's wrong right goddamn now" he was not buying she was fine at all. She was not her usual self and there was something on her mind. All he wants to do is fix it whatever it is, he can't stand to see Donna look this sad and he needed to fix it. This is how they worked. Donna basically ran Harvey's life for him and in return when she needed help he always fixed the problem.

Donna, however, was thinking she would have to come to terms with the fact Harvey was not going to let this go. She had no choice but to tell him, but how? Hey Harvey I might die of cancer isn't the best thing to say; maybe she could just tell him she didn't feel well. That was technically true she was ill but she just knew that he wouldn't buy that. No, she was going to have to tell him and she couldn't lie to him. That's something she swore she would never intentionally do.

"I… um… I…" Harvey decided to cut in here in a much softer tone seeing her struggle, he said "Donna whatever it is we can work it out together" which he followed up by place his hand on her knee. His touch made Donna relax and tense up at the same time. They never touched, it made everything to fuzzy in her brain and she couldn't concentrate.

Okay this is it, she thought as she mentally prepared herself. Just get it over with Donna she thought. "Harvey… I… I have cancer" Shit was that too blunt she thought as he removed his hand from her knee and was left with his mouth slightly agape. Fear had taken over his eyes and they were beginning to go glossy. Donna tried to read him but she had no idea what was going through his brain. The old Harvey would have left the room and tried to avoid the situation but recently Donna was exposed to a much more sensitive and caring Harvey that she had not become accustomed to. Donna didn't like not knowing the outcome of a situation. She was Donna she was supposed to know everything.

"What" he took hold of her hand again "no, but… no" and then he did something that Donna would have never expected him to do. He pulled her into a hug and whispered an "I'm sorry" in her ear. His touch was making her skin burn which was just another reason they never touched like this. They both just sat there in each other's embrace until finally Harvey pulled back. His embrace making Donna's eyes fill with water again. Feeling emotions of sadness, relief, regret and desire all at the same time was beginning to overwhelm Donna.

"You're going to be alright though yeh, you caught it early and are getting it treated… yeh?" Donna didn't know how to answer this. The doctor had discussed treatment but she hadn't decided on what to do yet. She was tossing up between a full and partial mastectomy and the doctor had seemed optimistic but she was scared that she would not make it through. She didn't have response for Harvey at this time. What could she say or do, she was completely speechless. She knew it was a mistake to tell someone, now she would be asked all these questions that she simply didn't know the answers too or couldn't muster up a reply to.

"I'm sorry, I… I umm… I can't do this" she mumbled as she quickly got up and walked, well ran, out of Harvey office down the halls into the ladies toilets. She just couldn't think she needed to be away from him. The thought that she could lose him or ever leave him for good was too much to deal with. Donna's breathing was heavy as she leant over the sink in the bathroom. Tears were streaming down her face and she could barely stand up straight. She had to lean on the sink just to stop her knees from completely giving way. She couldn't help but think this is how Harvey must have felt during one of his panic attacks which just made her feel even more awful.

The next thing she knew she was sat leaning against the cold tile wall of the ladies toilets with Harvey sat next to her telling her to breathe with him. Her eyes drifted to his chest as she followed the rise and fall motion as he too took deep breaths. She collapsed her body onto his, leaning her head on his broad shoulders. His warmth radiated off him and in this moment Donna forgot everything that had happened between them. It was like the day they first met all over again without any complications or messy history. Just two people with this connection neither could describe. They both just sat there for a few moments not speaking. Donna couldn't help but noticed how his warmth and scent reminded her of the dream she had had the previous night

Donna was trying to copy Harvey's breathing so that she could calm down a little. She could hear the sound of his heart beat as she leant on him and that seemed to calm her down a lot. Slowly her breathing returned to normal and urge to vomit dissipated. She was amazed at how comforting it was to just sit with him, even if it was on the floor of the ladies toilet. Then her mind started to fully comprehend what was happening. The realisation that they were sat on the floor of the toilets after she had a full on panic attack made her feel pathetic. If someone to walk in right now and see them she thought she might die.

Meanwhile Harvey was trying his best to help her through this panic attack. Having become very familiar with them recently he knew that he needed to slow her breathing to try and get her to calm down. As she focused on him and relaxed in his arm he all of a sudden noticed how great it felt to sit with her like this. Yes the circumstances where shitty but he couldn't help but smile as she leant on his shoulder, he red hair falling down over his chest. Her signature vanilla smell filling his nostrils as he leaned further into her. Not only was this helping Donna relax but it also helped Harvey. This bombshell had just been dropped on him and he didn't have the luxury of falling apart. He needed to be strong and supportive for her.

"Harvey… I'm sorry" Donna lifted her head and shuffled slightly away from Harvey, already missing the close contact.

"Donna you have nothing to apologize for in fact it's me who should be apologizing"

"What for?"

"For making you panic, I shouldn't have asked you that it was selfish I was looking for comfort when I should have been comforting you"

"Harvey, this isn't your fault, it's just I only got the news yesterday and I guess I am still processing it all so I don't know… I… I… I don't know" she could feel her eyes starting to well up again despite trying so hard not to cry a single tear slipped down her cheek. Harvey instinctively lifted his hand and brushed his thumb across her face removing the tear.

"Donna its okay we can get through this together" Harvey smiled a little, looking deep into Donna's eyes as she managed to sneak a small smirk onto her face whispering an "okay" in response.

"Right" she said rather abruptly getting up from the floor "let me sort myself out I can't exactly go back out there looking like this" she managed to chuckle a little hiding the fact she was still hurting inside. Harvey knew she was just trying to be brave but now was not a good time to discuss the news she had just dropped so he simply smiled and mumbled "I'll see you out there"

As Harvey left the toilets Donna let out a sigh before reaching in her bag and pulling out her make up bag. Her crying along with the sweat that formed during her panic attack had left her make up looking like a 5 year old had applied it. She splashed some cold water on her face to try and get rid of the puffiness around her eyes before reapplying her make-up. Just as she was finishing up and went to pick up her bag she heard someone else entering the toilets.

"Donna" the immaculately dressed women said with a certain curiosity and Donna was just thankful that she had just finished reapplying her make up.

"Jessica" Donna didn't want to say too much in case Jessica figured out something was wrong. That woman had always been amazing at noticing when something was not quite right. In fact she was pretty sure Jessica already suspected something already by the curious expression on her face.

"Everything okay?"

"Yep fine, I should get back to work" Donna hurried out the toilets before Jessica had the chance to ask any more questions but just as she moved through the doors Jessica's voice made her turn back around briefly.

"If you say so" Jessica had said with a smile on her face, just to let Donna know that she knew something was not right but had decided not to question her on it. After all she knew when to push for answers and when to let something go. Seeing Harvey leaving the toilets a few moments earlier with the most worried expression she had ever seen, she was certain it was serious. However when she noticed the puffiness around Donna's eyes that was cleverly concealed by makeup but still slightly noticeable she knew it wasn't her place to demand any answers. Not yet anyway.

With that Donna left feeling slightly worried that Jessica noticed something was wrong as she knew she would be questioned about it later but she also felt a small bit of relief that she didn't have to talk about it right now. Donna returned to her cubicle to find Harvey buried in files already. As she sat he gave her a small but sweet smile and they just focused on work for the rest of the afternoon.

Around 6:30 Donna entered Harvey's office just to let him know that she was leaving for the day. She had had a long day and just wanted to curl up on her sofa with a glass of wine with some rubbish realty TV show on in the background.

"Night Harvey, I'm going to head home now" Harvey smiled as an acknowledgement meanwhile Donna turned but his rough voiced caused her to do a full 360 on her heels

"Donna… Are you okay?"

"Yeh, I just want to go home and forget about everything for just one night. We can talk about it another time yeh"

"Thank you" Harvey sighed as he put down the file that was still in his hand.

"For what?"

"For trusting me enough to tell me. I didn't think you would tell me something this huge but I'm glad you did. I'm glad I get to help you through this. You shouldn't have to do it alone" Harvey was aware there relationship was a complicated one but it made him happy that she felt comfortable enough to let him in on something so personal.

This made her feel kind of guilty for a moment as she originally hadn't intended on telling him but now she was glad she did. She was relived she had someone else who knew what she was going through who could help her though like Harvey had done today. She didn't know what she would have done without Harvey today and on that note she smiled and left his office swinging her handbag as she walked.

The next morning she had woken up feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders until she saw she had received a voicemail from the hospital asking if they could move up her appointment to that afternoon. All of a sudden relief turned into dread. The doctor had told her to bring someone and although she had told Harvey she couldn't ask him to take the afternoon off to accompany her could she? Or maybe she could after all he said that they would go through this together right? Ugh Donna thought as she now had to have a very awkward conversation with Harvey where she would pathetically ask him to come with her to the hospital. As Harvey approached her desk that morning she had felt herself getting more and more nervous. Snap out of it, you're Donna you can do this she thought as she followed him into his office.

"What can I do for you Donna?" Harvey exclaimed as he sat down in the chair at his desk

"Um nothing never mind it's stupid" this is ridiculous, she can go on her own to an appointment she didn't need her boss to hold her hand. They weren't even going to do anything at the hospital they were just talking about treatment. He would literally just be there to hold her hand.

"Donna what is it? What's wrong?"

"It nothing really I can do t myself" his raised eye brows caused her to continue with a sigh "it's just I have this hospital appointment this afternoon and I was asked to bring someone but it really doesn't matter I can go by myself"

"Donna, don't be stupid I will come with you"

"No Harvey I can't ask you to miss work so that you can hold my hand"

"Donna, I have been looking for an excuse to avoid having lunch with Louis for days. Now I have one" it was so typical of Harvey to make a joke right now but it did lighten the mood and suddenly Donna felt a lot more relaxed. It also made it feel as though she was asking a best friend not a boss.

"Well since you want to, I suppose I can let you tag along" this was the first time she had properly smiled since she had heard the news, which didn't go unnoticed by Harvey as the smile on his face deepened.

The appointment had been arranged for 2:30 so at around 1:30 Donna had entered Harvey's office to leave. The hospital was not that far away but Donna had always prided herself on being punctual and had insisted that they would hit lunch time traffic at this time of the day. Like usual she was right, Harvey just didn't know it yet.

"You ready"

"Yeh, just hold on one minute"

"Harvey its fine if your busy you really don't have to…" Donna was cut off by the sound of Harvey slamming the lid of his laptop shut.

"Nope I'm coming now whether you like it or not, I called ray and he's waiting downstairs for us" He smiled picking up his suit jacket from the back of his chair.

"Harvey" He turned to face her "Thank you"

"Donna you don't need to thank me I said we would do this together and I meant it"

Donna and Harvey arrived at the hospital 30 minutes early so Donna had decided to go and get a coffee from the café in the lobby of the hospital and they both sat there sipping their Non-fat latte's with a dash of vanilla and whipped cream. Donna chose the drinks. They were just talking but as the nurse called Donna's name she tensed up. She looked at Harvey who gave her a comforting smile and he started walking with her into the doctor's office.

"Good to see you Miss Paulsen" the doctor said briefly looking up as her and Harvey as they both took a seat positioned in front of the desk.

"I wish I could say the same" Donna's witty comment making the doctor and Harvey smile

"I get that a lot" he chuckled "and I see you have brought someone with you" he smiled looking over at Harvey

"Yes this is Harvey my… my um…." Donna didn't know exactly what to say. Is he her Boss, Work colleague, friend? Then finally she decided to go with boss, which did make both Harvey and the doctor frown a little.

"Harvey Specter" Harvey said as he extended his arm so that he could formally greet the doctor "Pleased to meet you"

"So…" The doctor continued trying to shake off some of the awkwardness, sensing that this relationship was more complicated than most "we are here to discuss and come up with a treatment plan yes"

"Yes I guess so" Donna had completely forgotten to think about what she wanted to do. She spent the least two days either crying or thinking about Harvey she still had no idea what she wanted to do.

"Have you got any ideas yet after our discussion the other day?"

"Well umm… I…" Shit she didn't know what to say so she was so grateful when Harvey cut in. He must have known that she was struggling and decided to say something she thought. It's funny how Harvey over the years had picked up some of Donna's tricks, like how to read what people were thinking. He was not as good as her but still she was pleasantly surprised when he figured out exactly what to do.

"What option would you recommend?" See that was a good question Donna thought to herself. Why couldn't she have come up with that? She knows now why they ask you to bring someone along so that they can ask questions when you are too overwhelmed and can't form a coherent sentence.

"Well normally in Donna's case, since it has progressed to stage 3, I recommend that you have a full mastectomy followed by both chemotherapy and radiation. This is the most effective method of treatment however may women opt for the partial mastectomy as this only involves the removal of one breast, however this does increase your chances of reoccurrence. It is completely up to you though"

"So if I have a full mastectomy I will lose both my breasts and look all deformed but if I only remove one I risk having to go through this all again"

"There are some excellent reconstructive surgeries you can have done to replace your breasts once they have been removed however some women prefer not to have the surgeries or cannot afford it, it can be awfully pricey"

"Money is not an issue" Harvey cut in as the doctor spoke but Donna still had no idea what to do. Either way this situation sucked.

"Look, it's entirely up to you and the hospital will help you as much as they can no matter which treatment course you decided and we will do everything we can to help you through this"

"Okay, um… Harvey what should I do?" All she wanted was for someone to just tell her what to do so that she didn't think about it but Harvey was in no position to tell her what to do and she knew that just as well as he did. It almost felt like they were not work colleagues or friends at this point but a married couple. The way Donna relied on Harvey's opinion and the look in Harvey's eyes told the doctor that these two people wanted each other. Funny how a doctor who had only been in a room with them for 5 minutes knew they were meant for each other, something they still hadn't figured out.

Before Harvey had a chance to respond the doctor stood up saying "I'll give you two some time to make a decision, I'll be right back" and left the room

"Donna, I can't tell you what to do but what I will say is that cannot live without and I need you to survive this so you need to pick a course of treatment and beat this thing… okay" He took her hand and held it in his. "Donna please just promise me you will fight this"

"I will" Donna mumbled as she could feel tears building up in her eyes which made her roll her eyes. She swore she hadn't cried this much in her whole life. It was like she was broken or something. She was trying desperately not to cry in front on Harvey again but he could tell that she was holding them back. They both just sat there for the second time in two days, not saying anything just in each other's company till Donna broke the silence.

"Okay, I think I have decided" the door swung open just as she finished her sentence and she couldn't help but smile at the impeccable timing of the doctor. It's like he had been standing by the door listening through a glass which Donna half expected was the case. The notion of the doctor's ear pressed to the door made her chuckle slightly inside.

"Have we made a decision then?" he almost seemed too happy to be talking about cancer treatments but Donna didn't mind as his optimism and lack of concern, it was kind of comforting. Donna's response was a small nod which caused the doctor to dip his head and raise his eye brows a little "What's it going to be?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- A night of comfort

Donna had opted for the full mastectomy, since she knew that she was not strong enough to go through this again and this was the best option to stop any reoccurrence. Harvey was proud of Donna for making this decision, although he would never tell her what to do he was hoping she would go this way because he couldn't even think about losing her and he always preferred to be safe than sorry. Why do you think he cut so many deals as a lawyer?

Ray had waited for them outside the hospital and Harvey had instructed him to stop at Donna's apartment so that he could take her home. The journey was silent but comfortable: neither Donna nor Harvey feeling the need for any words right now. As the car came to a halt Harvey got out the car first walking over to Donna's door, opening it for her. Forever a gentleman.

"Well done" Harvey stated as she lifter herself out of the Lexus "for making a decision'" he clarified noticing the confused look on Donna's face "I think you made the right call" he added as she turned around to look at him before reaching the door of her apartment. The fact he was being so supportive made Donna warm inside.

"Harvey will you keep me company? I don't feel like being alone" She gestured her arm towards the door of her apartment building.

"I don't know if that's a good idea" All he could think about was kissing her right now and going into the apartment which held onto memories of 'the other time' just seemed like a recipe for disaster. How could he not cross the line with her when all he could think about was how amazing and strong she was and how great she looked even when her head was an utter mess? He also got the feeling that she might want to go there too and was not willing to risk crossing the line only to regret it tomorrow. What if the roller-coaster ride of a day was the only thing making Donna want this and she resented him tomorrow.

"Harvey please, you don't have to stay for long" She didn't know exactly why she was inviting him in. Deep down she was hoping that he would grab her and hold her and they could finally have the relationship she had longed to have for years but she also just didn't want to alone right now.

"Okay, just for a bit" Harvey turned back to Ray telling him to go home that he was going to stay for a while and would just grab a taxi home, he then proceeded up the stairs to Donna's apartment. The last time he was here was during Mike's trial when he had wanted to turn himself in and she had convinced him not to. Now everything was so different and he was the one there comforting her and telling her to have faith. The tables had turned, though in a way he still needed her just as much as she needed him.

"Can I get you a drink?" Donna asked as she threw the keys down into a bowl next to her door "Wine? Scotch? Coffee?"

"Whatever, I'll have whatever you're having" he said as he took a seat on Donna's cream coloured couch, remembering how much more comfortable it was than his leather couch. She came back with a bottle of red in one hand and two rather large wine glasses in the other. After pouring them both a generous amount of the wine she took her seat next to him.

"Harvey do you really think I made the right choice?"

"Yes I do, I can't lose you Donna, not again" It hurt so much last time she had left to go work for Louis there was no way that he was ever going to let her slip through his fingers again and as long as she needed him, he would be there every step of the way like she always had been for him. Besides losing her to cancer would be so much worse than losing her to Louis and the idea of her not being around at all was too much to stomach. He barely coped when she moved to the other side of the office he couldn't lose her for good. It just wasn't an option.

"Will you still say that when I'm bald and boobless though" she had said it as a joke but she was dreading the fact that she would lose all her hair and her boobs. She knew that it was stupid but she had always known that she was attractive and now all that was going to change. It shouldn't matter she thought, but it did. A part of who she was was the fact she could strut around in a perfect figure hugging dress and look amazing making the men stare and the women jealous.

"Donna, you are beautiful and nothing will ever change that" He may have just crossed the line slightly but he needed to say it. She was more than just her looks. She had a beautiful personality. She was witty and confident without being arrogant but she was also loving and caring and had the biggest heart of anyone he knew. Her smile could brighten his day, her laugh was infectious and she was always able to handle all of his shit like it was no effort at all. She was just utterly amazing in his eyes.

"We'll see about that I suppose"

"No Donna, nothing can take away your beauty, don't get me wrong you are hot but it's your personality that makes you beautiful. Your wit, your heart, your sassiness and your ability to know people better than they know themselves is what make you beautiful. No one will even care what you look like and trust me you will never be ugly even if you are bald and boobless" Harvey didn't even register he was saying all this until it had already left his mouth but he meant every word. Maybe his therapy sessions were starting to pay off because before he wouldn't have said any of this he would have bit his tongue or left.

Donna was just as shocked as he was, if not more. Was this the Harvey Specter she had known for the last 12 years finally putting his feelings into words and not running from the situation? However he could just be saying all of this as a friend right. Friends say that kind of stuff to each other right?

"Harvey I asked you a question before this stupid cancer thing, before Mike's trial and before I left to work for Louis and I really need an answer now"

"Donna please" he couldn't, wasn't his little speech just then enough did he really have to continue down the same track as before. What if he said the wrong thing or worse nothing at all and she left again?

"No Harvey why won't you just tell me, because I need to know" her eyes were starting to tear up again, he had said all of the right things so far and she was hoping that he would finally say what she had wanted to hear for years.

"Because" he stuttered causing Donna to interrupt again

"Because what Harvey?" anger now lace her words as she was getting more and more frustrated again.

"Because I'm scared"

Donna sighed at his words "Harvey we are all scared, if you're not scared you have nothing to lose but if you don't tell me, how can I stay? Did you think I would just come back to you and we would carry on ignoring what I think we've both felt for the last twelve years" Donna placed her hand on his upper arm "please will you just tell me so I can move on with my life because Harvey it's okay if you don't feel the same I just need to know"

Okay, Harvey thought, just remember all the things that Dr Agard said and tell her before you lose her again. He closed his eyes trying to find the right words before he finally opened his mouth "Donna this is hard for me. I have never been good with feelings and I think I denied the way I felt about you for years which is why I couldn't answer you before. Donna you once said to me you love me like a brother or a cousin but that's not how I love you and it scares me to death. All I want every day is to see you. I want to wake up with you by my side. I want to be the one to cheer you up when you're sad and protect you when you're in danger. I love you in a way that means my entire life revolves around you and I want to be with you for however long I can, not just as friends but as more than that. I want everything Donna and I want it with you. You know when you said I had everything you were wrong in fact I didn't have the thing that I really wanted the most"

Donna was stunned. She had pushed and pushed Harvey to answer her question and now he had she could hardly believe it. She had sort of thought that he would never be ready for a relationship but hearing what he just said she knew that he was. He was ready to commit to her and just be with her. She knew that the year was going to be a hard one for her and so the fact he had told her all this was a huge comfort for her. The thought of being with Harvey was something that made the whole experience a whole lot less scary, like it would be easier with him by her side.

She felt tears forming in her eyes for what felt like the one hundredth time recently but these were a different kind of tears. They were not out of frustration, fear or panic but were like tears of relief. She didn't know what to say so she decided to act instead. She placed one hand on Harvey's cheek and the other on the back of his neck as her lips crashed onto his.

He tasted like the wine they just drank and she could feel herself lose control as their kiss deepened. His hands were rushing across her whole body like he wanted to touch and feel ever part of her. Caressing every curve of her body and feeling her shiver at his touch. Harvey had waited so long to do this and it was even better as he had imagined to express how he felt before they did it meaning it wasn't just sex it signified the beginning of their relationship.

Harvey lifted Donna up and carried her across her apartment into her bedroom not breaking the kiss at any point. It was like he was afraid to stop in case she changed her mind or something but if he had looked into her eyes he would have seen her desire building up. Harvey could get lost in her eyes but he was also trying hard to not open his in case he couldn't control himself long enough to do what they were about to do.

"Harvey look at me" Donna whispered into his ear causing him to stop everything and look into her eyes. God she had beautiful eyes. "Harvey you know I love you too right and all I have ever wanted was to have everything with you" she couldn't stop smiling. She had realized about half way through the kiss that he had expressed his feelings but she hadn't told him anything. Although it was pretty clear that she felt the same way the moment her lips met his, they both appreciated the fact it was said.

"I know" he said resuming the moment by kissing down from her neck to her thigh removing any clothing that got in his way as her maneuvered his way down her body. The whole experience was more they could ever dream of and they soon fell asleep in each other's arms feeling a whole lot happier than they had ever thought they could be. Donna that night forgot she had cancer and that she would soon be starting treatment and Harvey forgot all the troubles he had had over the last few months and the fact she might not be around much longer. None of that seemed to matter as they finally gave into twelve years' worth of tension and desire in one wonderful night.

The next morning Donna woke with the biggest smile on her face but it soon disappeared and she turned around to see Harvey looking up at the ceiling with tears in his eyes. He had woken a while ago and at first wore the same goofy smile Donna had woken up with but then he remembered. He remembered that she was going to have to go through surgery, followed by radiation, followed by chemotherapy and he didn't know if he was strong enough to watch her go through all that. What if he couldn't handle it, seeing her going through that kind of torture? He could barely stand to see her cry, he had almost crumbled when she had a panic attack. Maybe he wasn't good enough for her after all.

"Harvey what wrong?" Donna swirled her fingers in circular motions across his torso as she spoke

"What if I'm not good enough?"

"What do you mean? Harvey why wouldn't you be good enough"

"I don't think I can do it, I know its selfish and a hundred times worse for you but what if I can handle seeing you go through the surgery and then the months of treatment that follows"

"Harvey you will hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be okay and be with me and I know that you are good enough because I know that you couldn't bear to leave me even if you wanted to and I know that because I am Donna and I just know"

Donna was half joking but she was right. If he left it would be worse than if he stayed as he would just spend all his time feeling guilty that she was alone and so he didn't have a choice, he had to handle it "you know what, you're so right I can't leave you who would organise my life and bring me coffee every morning?"

"See I told you, you need me"

"That's what I have been saying all along"

Harvey smiled kissing Donna on the top of her head and he wrapped his arm around her waist. He like to feel her close so that their heartbeats became one and he had never felt to calm that right now lying beside her in bed.

"Come on Harvey get up" she hit him lightly on the chest "I can't be late for work people will think something is wrong"

"Something is wrong though Donna… Are you ever going to tell anyone?"

"I will when I'm ready I promise now get you lazy ass out of bed and make a girl some breakfast for once in your life"

"Hey I've made a girl breakfast before" He raised his eye brow giving her a quick wink as he spoke

"Ugh, I don't want to know" she commented as she walked into the bathroom to take a shower. Letting the hot water run down her body she realised in spite of the cancer, today was one of the happiest mornings of her life and she had Harvey to thank for that. Before she had even managed to pick up the shampoo bottle she heard the door of the bathroom squeak and Harvey was soon next to her in the shower. His naked form was just breath-taking.

"Hey you're ruining my shower"

"This way saves you water" Harvey said as he quirked his eye brow

"Hmm so you're here to help me save money on my utility bill"

"Well, I may have an ulterior motives" he leaned in and started to kiss her neck making Donna's head fall back.

"Oh really" Donna giggled as she pressed her body up against his, craving to feel all of him after 12 years or barley even touching him (if you ignore the other time like they both did). The warm water trickled down both bodies and steam started to fill the bathroom making this moment even more intense.

"Okay so there will be no touching" Donna warned Harvey as they both sat in the back of Ray's car "and no flirting"

"Wouldn't dream of it" Harvey winked as her ran his hand up Donna's thigh

"Harvey I'm serious we can't let anyone find out"

All of a sudden Harvey smirk turned into a slight frown "I know" he sighed a little before continuing "but Donna you are going to need to tell that about… about your… your"

"Cancer" Donna blurted out bluntly "Harvey you can say it and I will tell them when I am ready"

"I know but they will notice at some point and I think everyone will appreciate it if you told them sooner rather than later. They are your family they will want to help"

"That's the thing, as soon as everyone knows I will stop being the sassy red head who everyone turns to for advice and will become the poor cancer girl" she smiled a little placing a reassuring hand on Harvey's knee " I just need as much normality as I can get before I tell them"

"Donna you will never be anything less than the amazingly talented red head that secretly runs the whole firm"

"Harvey please, this is just something I have to do, please just let me tell them when I am ready"

"Okay" Harvey leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek "now get out of the car otherwise you are going to be late and then everyone will know something is wrong" he joked lightening the mood.

They both walked into the Person Specter Litt building their hands occasionally touching as they walked side by side. Harvey leant over Donna to press the elevator button, Donna trying her best not to laugh or acknowledge how close he was. They both got into a rather full elevator and faced the front. Only when they had reached the 32nd floor were they alone again. The doors shut and Harvey immediately turned to Donna and started kissing her neck

"What did I tell you about touching at work?" Donna made no attempt to stop Harvey's actions

"It doesn't count we are not on the right floor yet" Harvey chuckled into her neck as he continues to kiss the spot between her collar bone and her jaw

"Oh well in that case" Donna smiled as he lifted his chin from her neck and led him right to her lips. Harvey proceeded by pushing Donna against the back of the elevator and just as they were both getting into it the elevator dinged to signify they had reached their floor

Harvey didn't seem to register the ding so Donna whispered his name and swiftly pushed him off so that she could adjust her dress before the doors opened. However Harvey did not have time to straighten his tie before the doors opened so he looked like a complete mess. Mike was at the reception desk so noticed Harvey and Donna immediately.

"Hey Harvey, did you have trouble getting dressed this morning" Mike laughed noticing that Harvey's tie was a complete mess and his shirt was only half tucked in

"I still look better than you" Harvey replied walking straight passed Mike. Donna followed looking immaculate as she had already fixed her clothes. She stopped just as she was passing mike and whispered in his ear "He's not wrong you know" Donna and Harvey had always made fun of Mike's more casual demeanor and if they wanted Mike not to suspect anything Donna felt it best to continue along that path. However it was also a lot more fun that way.

Harvey strolled into his office and started to tuck in his shirt; Donna then approached his tie and started to fix that. Once the tie met Donna's standards she then moved to his hair. Donna often fixed Harvey's appearance in the past but this time as she ran her fingers through his hair she felt the urge to kiss him right there and then. They both got caught up in a moment as their eyes met which was only broken when the phone started to ring. Hiding their new relationship may be more difficult than they both originally thought.

For the rest of the day Harvey got tied up with clients and so was in and out of meetings all day meaning Donna did not see him all that much. Although that made it so much easier to hide their relationship she also started to miss him half way through the day. It was ridiculous but the fact he knew and they were finally in a good place just left her craving him even more. Towards the end of the day, ordinarily she would have gone home but today she decided to wait for Harvey. That way they could go home together.

As the clock reached 9:30 Harvey was still not ready to go. Donna had finished all her work ages ago and so decided to do a little research in Stage 3 breast cancer. She realised she hadn't researched anything yet. She was about to go into battle completely unprepared. Donna needed to know everything. As she sat at her desk reading through medical sights and patients experience she started to panic a little. Everyone had a different story but one thing they all had in common was pain, suffering and struggle. Then she came across statistics and it all just got worse.

Odds of surviving 5 years after diagnosis – almost 60%

Odds of reoccurrence after treatment – 6%

Odds of reoperation after reconstruction after 2-3 years- 46%

Odds of developing a serious complication after reconstruction- 21%

She knew that half of these statistics were probably not true or didn't apply to her but it didn't stop her worrying. She even got scared at the really low numbers, convincing herself that she would be the unlucky 1%. The one that scared her the most was the 40% chance she would die in the next five years. She wasn't ready to die. She hadn't achieved anything yet. Her Broadway dream had never come to anything, she had no children, no family to come home to, no house, no husband I mean she had only just started a relationship with Harvey. That took her 12 years. She needed more time.

Donna knew that she had to stop. All this was doing was worrying her and she wasn't getting any real or accurate information but she couldn't stop. The more she searched and the more she read the more panicked she was getting. The color had almost drained from her face completely when she read one woman's story about how the cancer progressed to stage 4 because she had just given birth so mistook the lump on her breast for a clogged milk duct. How unfair was that. Donna didn't even realize she was crying until Jessica strolled down the hall and broke Donna's downwards spiral.

"Donna, what's wrong?" Jessica's eye brows were low and her voice deep as she spoke

"Oh um" Donna wiped the tears from her now soaking wet cheeks "I'm just struggling with something but its okay"

"Look Donna I'm not going to force you to open up to me" Jessica placed the file she was carrying on top of Donna's desk and then continued "but I want you to know I know something is going on and I know Harvey knows what it is, so when you are ready I would love to be let in on it"

"Okay" Donna said much to timidly for her or Jessica's liking "can I help you with something?" Donna pointed at the file Jessica had placed on her desk

"You know what it can wait till tomorrow, tell Harvey when he gets back to go home and I want to see him first thing tomorrow morning" and with that Jessica strode back down the halls to her corner office on the other side of the floor. Just as she disappeared from site Donna heard the familiar sound of Harvey's footsteps.

"Hey, you're still here" Harvey said as he leaned down on Donna's desk

"I was waiting for you wasn't I"

"You didn't have to you know" Harvey raised his eye brow and started to run his hand up and down Donna's bare arms

"I know but I thought I would go back to yours and it makes for a much more interesting car journey if you are there too" Donna smirked as she pulled on his tie a little

"I though you said no flirting" Harvey smirked back

"It doesn't count everyone else has gone home now" Donna laughed

"Are you okay?" Harvey said as he just noticed that her eyes were a little puffy as he ran his finger under them

Donna clicking that her eyes were probably still a bit red from her crying 10 minutes ago "Yeh I'm good, just take home Specter" She really didn't want to get into anything with Harvey right now and she knew that he wouldn't be able to resist the notion of sex so he was much more likely to let it go if she mentioned home.

By the time Donna and Harvey made it to the lobby ray was already outside waiting for them. Harvey opened the door for Donna and then walked around the car to get in himself. Ray had barely even started the engine when Harvey smashed his lips in Donna's. Harvey had been waiting all day to do that. Every boring meeting and annoying client just made him want her more. He hated that them finally admitting their feelings was tainted by this horrible illness that Donna was going through. They just couldn't catch a break at the moment. It had just been one thing after another since the whole Mike situation blew up.

As Donna and Harvey rode the elevator up to Harvey's apartment it took everything in them not to just surrender to each other right there in the elevator. Harvey opened the door to his apartment and instantly turned to Donna and picked up where they left off in Rays car. Donna jumped up and wrapped her legs around Harvey's waist and they made their way to Harvey's bed. Carefully Harvey placed Donna down on the mattress; it was almost like he was afraid that she might break. Donna fed up of Harvey's slow pace pulled him down on top of her and started to remove all his clothing. Soon all the clothes were thrown around the room, landing on various pieces of furniture.

"I love you so much" Harvey looked deep into Donna's eyes

"I love you too" Donna smiled on the verge of tears again. But this time was different these were happy tears.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- The Beginning

"So your most recent scans have told us that your tumor is over 5cm which means we would like to start you on neoadjuvant chemotherapy to shrink the tumor before we perform your double-mastectomy. Then we will give you radiation followed by more chemotherapy to get rid of any residual cancer cells. This will reduce the odds of reoccurrence and make sure no cancerous cells are left behind"

Donna just sat there. All the things the doctor was saying felt like a weight being put on her. The treatment seemed so aggressive and rigorous. A sign that Donna knew was bad as it meant that her cancer had progressed quite a lot. She knew that this would be tough but now she had been told about her treatment it seemed all too real. The only thing keeping her grounded right now was that Harvey's hand was gripping her hand tight. It distracted her so her brain didn't keep skipping to worse case scenarios all the time. She hadn't even got around to telling everyone yet; it was all happening way to fast. How could she cope? It seemed she would be fighting a never ending battle.

"Okay so when will the chemotherapy start then?" she was expecting an answer of at least two weeks. Hospitals always took time getting around to things right. She could take a few days to decide how to tell everyone and then prepare them as well as herself for the treatments that followed. She assumed she had at least a few weeks. She was wrong.

"Well we want to start the chemotherapy as soon as possible so your cancer does not progress any further and so we can start the surgery sooner rather than later so we will want to start within the next few days"

"Oh, okay that's um… um… quick" She was sure she would have more time. She was Donna she was always right.

"Donna, this is good it means that you can start getting better" Harvey tried to reassure her

"I know it's just still haven't told everyone and I just thought I would have more time that's all"

"I know this is very scary Miss Paulsen but it is important we get started with treatment as soon as possible and so I think it is necessary to see you in a few days to start chemotherapy right away"

"Yeh I know, I guess I'll see you soon… I have to go now." Donna mumbled "I don't have time" Donna stood and collected her bag from under her chair and left rather frantically. By the time Harvey had stood Donna was already out the room. Harvey gave the doctor a small smile and thanked him before he quickened his pace to catch up to Donna. She was not okay he could tell and it broke his heart.

"Hey" he held her arm to stop her from walking off "slow down" he said as she mumbled something about having to go tell Rachel. "Donna just take a minute" Harvey held both of her shoulders so that she could focus on him. She concentrated on her breathing for a minute before resting her head on his chest. His heartbeat always calmed her down so they stood for a few minutes.

"I'm okay" Donna whispered "I'm good now"

"Okay" Harvey replied.

"I think I need to tell everyone today" Donna said much more calmly and rationally this time.

"Okay" Harvey repeated

"Will you help me…? Please"

"Of course I will, do you want to go tell Rachel first while I'll tell Mike and then we will both tell Jessica and Lewis together"

"And Gretchen" Donna added "we should tell Gretchen too"

"Okay let's go to the office then"

30 minutes later Harvey and Donna arrived at the office and Donna immediately left to go to Rachel's office. She stood by the door for a moment preparing herself for the conversation she was about to have with her best friend. She knocked much more gently than she usually would which was something Rachel didn't pick up on but Donna couldn't help but think Harvey would have noticed. He was becoming much more aware of Donna's movements, observing her actions and analysing them much more closely.

"Hey Rach do you have a second"

"Yeh sure hang on one second" Rachel put down the coffee she had been drinking and moved some files to the side of her desk "what can I help you with?"

"Well there is something I need to tell you and you have to promise me you won't break down on me because you're going to want to and I need you to not. Okay?"

Oh no something is wrong Rachel thought immediately "Okay Donna what is it? Talk to me" She had never seen Donna this worked up before. Not even when the whole Liberty Rail incident blew up in her face.

"Okay" here we go. Donna had thought about how to tell Rachel. She couldn't just blurt it out like she did with Harvey. She recalled that not going to well, something about a panic attack in the ladies toilets. This time she would build up to it and hey maybe if she led Rachel right to it she wouldn't even have to say it.

"Recently I went to the doctor I was worried that I might be sick. I was in the shower one morning and I felt something. A kind of lump on the breast. I was suspicious that it could be something bad…"

Rachel knew exactly where this was going now. Donna was struggling to say it but she knew by her facial expression that she had it. She had cancer. Rachel didn't know what to say so Donna continued

"Anyway a few days later I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer"

"Donna" Donna was starting to well up. Rachel had to do something she couldn't bear to see her in such a state. "I'm so sorry" she whispered. Rachel got up from her desk and wrapped her arm around Donna's shoulder as Donna remained seated. Donna had been acting strange but for the last few days but Rachel was too busy to even ask her about it. She assumed it was nothing when Donna never spoke to her about it. How could she have missed this, Donna was going through the worse time of her life and she was too busy being happy with Mike to even notice it.

Slowly Rachel returned to her seat "How long have you known?"

"Not too long a couple of weeks maybe" Donna was really hoping that this wouldn't be a problem but something told her that Rachel was going to be annoyed that she didn't tell her

"I'm so sorry Donna, I haven't been available recently and I should have been there for you. Mike got out and I was just so caught up in that that I didn't realize you needed me" Rachel had always prided herself on being there for her friends but now she had failed Donna when she needed her the most. She was never around to talk to, no wonder Donna didn't come to her sooner.

"No I'm sorry Rach, I should have told you sooner. You've been through so much recently and you have been so strong I thought that by not telling you could give you a break. I think we all needed a break"

"Donna you have nothing to apologize for and I am so sorry you are going through this but just know no matter how much I have been through I always want to be there for you. This isn't about me it's about you and you needed me and I will always be there for you" Rachel held her hand for a second but didn't continue. It was like she didn't know what to say. She had a million questions but none of them seemed appropriate to ask right now.

"Thank you Rachel, you really are the best" Donna smiled a single tear rolling down her face as she held the hand of her best friend

"Is it okay if I ask a few questions, I understand if you are not up for it" To tread lightly was probably the best thing for Donna. Rachel didn't want to push her if she was not ready to talk.

"It's fine, what do you want to know. I warn you though I am still wrapping my head around the whole thing"

Rachel smiled but it was underlined with pity, something Donna had not wanted, although right now it was appropriate "Does anyone else know"

"Just Harvey" Donna knew that it might hurt Rachel that she had told Harvey but she was also hopeful that she would understand "and he is telling Mike for me now"

"Okay that's good; no one should do any of this alone. It's good that he knew"

"Yeh I think it was good and I'm really glad you know too I should have told you sooner"

"Why did you tell me now" Rachel was curious, was it all getting too much or was something about to happen

"Truthfully?" Donna paused for a moment. It sounded awful but the reason she was telling her now was because she was starting treatments in a few days so it would be kind of hard to miss in a couple of days "The doctor told me today that I need to start treatment as soon as possible and I thought that would have more time to wrap my head around it but it turns out I don't so I wanted to tell you before you found out any other way"

This stung Rachel. The only reason she was finding out was because Donna kind of had to tell her. She wondered if she hadn't got the news today if she would still be kept in the dark. She would never tell Donna this but it hurt her a little "So you are starting treatments, so that's good right. Now you will start getting better?"

"That's the idea, although I think it might be a very long road. I have a while to go." Somehow talking it through with Rachel, although is exhausting, actually helped Donna's brain to process it all. She hadn't really talked it through with anyone she was close with. Of course the Doctor had gone through everything and Harvey helped but Harvey was never much of a talker.

Meanwhile Harvey had called Mike into his office to break the news. He poured himself and Mike two generous glasses of scotch and sat down on his couch. This let Mike new that Harvey was going to talk about something that had nothing to do with work. Last time they talked like this was after Harvey had a panic attack and if he was not careful he might have another one.

"What's up Harvey?" Mike was still standing holding a few files. He had been very busy that day so just wanted to get back to work at this point, he wasn't fully comprehending what Harvey was about to do.

"Mike sit down I need to tell you something" Slowly Mike placed his files on the coffee table and proceeded to take a seat next to Harvey. Harvey picked up Mikes scotch and held it in front of him so that he could take a sip. Alcohol always made these types of conversations just that little bit more bearable for Harvey but this one was going to be hard no matter what they drank.

"Harvey what's going on?" A creased formed between Mikes eye brows as confusion spread across his whole face.

"Donna has breast cancer" Harvey had opted for a much more blunt approach than Donna. Harvey was always a straight talker he hated when people dodged around something. He felt it was way better to just spit it out so that everyone knows where they stand.

"WHAT" Mike almost screamed. He had always been a fan of the over dramatics "she's going to be okay though right?" Mike begged

"I don't know" whispered Harvey as he took another sip of his scotch and lowered his head between his legs "I really don't know" he was a broken man and Mike could see that as clear as day.

"Harvey are you okay?" Mike knew that Harvey loved her, even before he realised it himself, so he knew how hard this type of news would hit Harvey.

"I'm not the one with cancer Mike"

"I know" Mike picked up Harvey's scotch bottle and filled up his now empty glass for him "but I'm asking you anyway"

"I just need her to be okay and then I will be okay too" Harvey downed the scotch and stood up "now don't you have work to do"

Typical, Harvey doesn't want to talk about his emotions. That was okay though because if Harvey was telling him then Donna must be telling Rachel so he didn't need to gather all the details. He also knew if Harvey didn't want to talk it was useless trying to push him to. Harvey had to be the one who initiated things otherwise all you do is push him over the edge. Mike picked up the files he had entered the room with and decided to give Harvey some space. He was just starting out the window and when Harvey did that he needed to be alone (or be with Donna) neither of which required Mike.

Of course Mike had just had a bombshell dropped on him. He wasn't just going to forget it and start reading through meaningless papers again. How could be possibly work? When he reached the office of his finance he saw the familiar red head there too. Obviously Donna and Rachel were going into much more detail than Harvey and Mike had. Typical. Mike knocked quietly; he didn't want to be too intrusive.

"Mike" Rachel stated as she saw him stand in her door way. Rachel had been asking question after question trying to find out all the details but she knew Donna was starting to struggle with some of the answers. This made Mikes interruption a perfect way for Donna to leave and Rachel to stop with all the questions. Therefore it was welcomed by both.

"I can come back later if you two need some more time" all he really wanted to do was talk to Rachel so that his head didn't explode with this devastating news.

"no its fine, I actually need to go sort out some stuff" Donna rose from her seat and went to go stand by Mike at the door "We'll talk more later" Donna smiled a little at Rachel who mimicked the same half-hearted smile back. As she left Mike placed a comforting hand on her shoulder which slid of as she continued to walk away.

This day had turned out to be much more emotional than Donna had expected. But at least now Mike and Rachel knew she felt a little better. She decided to go see Harvey. See how Mike took it, he seemed okay when he appeared at the door so she assumed he didn't completely freak out but this was not easy news hear.

"Harvey" Donna caught Harvey's attention immediately when his head turned from the New York skyline so quickly she thought it was quite possible he could have some neck damage.

"Donna" Harvey responded. Both had water filled eyes but neither of them let themselves cry.

Harvey walked over to where Donna stood, pulling her into a tight hug like he never wanted to let go. Donna let herself fall into Harvey's strong arms. It felt so natural and comforting to be in his arms like this.

"We still need to tell Louis, Jessica and Gretchen" She was exhausted but she knew if she didn't do it now then she never would. She needed to rip off the band aid as her mother would say.

"I know" Harvey replied. He wanted to do this now even less than she did but he also knew it was something they needed to do. If not now when? "Do you want me to tell them all to come to Jessica's office and we can tell them together and get it over with"

"Yeh I think that would be easier but Harvey can you just wait a couple of hours I need a break to just not think" Donna was still gripping on to Harvey's waist so tight it was surprising he could still breath.

"Of course, I'll set it up for 5:00" It's amazing how Harvey even managed to turn this into a business arrangement. He was so used to meeting clients and setting up depositions that he had started to make this into one. I suppose it was his way of dealing with it all and Donna didn't mind. In fact it was kind of endearing that he didn't even realise he was doing it.

"Donna you okay" Rachel had only just got back to work when Donna appeared at her door once more.

"Well I have had a tough day and I think I am in need of some retail therapy. What do you say to you, me and Harvey's credit card taking a trip down to Barneys?"

"I say give me a second to grab my bag" Rachel's work load wasn't too heavy at the moment and she knew her friend could really do with some retail therapy. God she could really do with some retail therapy.

Just a couple of hours later, in which Donna managed to purchase two designer bags, a new set of earrings and stunning dress (which was extremely impressive even for a confessed shopaholic), Donna and Rachel returned to the office. Donna had barely thought about what she was going to say to Jessica, Louis and Gretchen. She had been far too busy admiring the new season line at Barneys but as she sat back at her desk it hit her. She was going to tell them soon then everyone would know. It doesn't get any easier with each person she told she thought to herself. This was the third (fourth if you count the over emotional phone call to her parents) time she was having to say it and she was dreading every second. But at least after this everyone will know.

"So what are we doing here Harvey" Jessica was a busy woman and it was not often she was summoned to her own office by one of her partners.

Harvey looked over to Donna. "Actually I wanted to speak to you" Donna interrupted before Harvey could reply. Perfect timing for her entrance as per usual.

"Oh well take it way" Jessica sat down on her couch and crossed her left leg over her right. After seeing Donna a week ago in the toilets she knew something was wrong so decided that maybe it would be better to sit down when receiving whatever news she had. It had bugged her that she couldn't figure it out but this was Donna, she would tell when she wanted.

"So… I just wanted to tell you something and I want you not to worry" Donna was downplaying it a little but only Harvey, Rachel and Mike needed to know the whole truth. With Jessica, Lewis and Gretchen she felt it couldn't hurt to be a little more optimistic about it all.

"What is it Donna, you can tell us" Louis as usual couldn't wait for her to finish Harvey thought although Donna didn't seem to mind the interruption. It gave her time to think.

"I have been diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer, the doctors say that it is treatable and the odds are pretty good so I don't want you to worry but thought you all should know" Donna paused for a second waiting for a response but everyone just looked at her like she was supposed to carry on. She turned to face Jessica "and don't worry I will still work I might just need a few sick days if that is okay"

"Take as long as you need Donna, just take the time to get better we will work something out" Jessica kind of felt guilty that Donna had even thought about that in the moment. It was not necessary but Jessica knew that Donna was a very professional woman so was not in the least bit surprised that this is what she was thinking of. How she would have to take time off. Harvey, the firm, her whole work family had been the centre of her life for 12years.

"Hang on so who else knows?" Louis once again didn't focus on what was important. Though it was a question that she was prepared for as he had always been a little petty about these kinds of things.

"Well Harvey found out first and then Mike and Rachel found out earlier today but Louis it really doesn't matter who found out when. All that matters is you know now right?" Donna still had to work to diffuse Louis' anger but in this case it really wasn't that hard. She could handle Louis no problem. Louis was angry that Donna had cancer, not that he wasn't told about it first. He knew that.

"I think I need the day" Louis got up and left quickly.

"I think I better make sure he is alright" Gretchen gave Donna a weak smile "I'm really sorry Red" she said before exiting the office.

"Donna, are you okay?" this question Donna was not expecting. She thought Jessica would enquire about more specific things like when she would need time off and when did she find out and how long before she got better. This caught Donna off-guard

"I am doing okay. I think I am doing okay" Up until this point Harvey had not said a word. It was Donna's news and she needed to be the one to tell it. Now though with this question he quietly said "she is doing amazing, I don't know how but she is dealing with this ten times better than me" It was just about audible to both Donna and Jessica. It made Donna smile. She didn't know if it was because she had cancer or whether it was because he finally admitted his feelings for her but everything she did seemed to leave him amazed. It made her feel like she was strong enough to conquer anything life could throw at her. For that she was eternally grateful to him.

"I think if it's okay I am going to go back to my desk now" Donna turned to leave the managing partners office and both Harvey and Jessica simply nodded in response. This left just Harvey and Jessica alone in the office.

"So I assume this is what the whole bathroom situation the other week was about" Jessica's gaze fixated on Harvey "I thought it might have been something else by the way you two have been acting together lately" Despite everything Harvey smiled at this notion because it was in fact true. Not every piece of news at the moment was bad because it led him to find the balls to finally admit his feelings and be with the woman he has loved for 12years.

Harvey's smile said it all. "It took you long enough Harvey" Jessica now beamed but then her face went serious again "I'm really sorry though. That this is happening"

"It took me 12years to admit my feelings and it is tainted now by this terrible thing. It this for me to finally tell her how I feel" Harvey was staring at his shoes which told Jessica one thing, he was ashamed.

"Harvey everyone knew including you and Donna that you two were as in love as two people can be. Yes it took a disaster for you to finally take the plunge but you are with her now and that is what counts" Always the wise one was Jessica. She always knew exactly what to say to Harvey when he was feeling self-loathing.

"I know I just wish I could have said it sooner"

"Harvey everything you and Donna have been through has led to your relationship now. Never regret any of it as it made you the couple you are today and Harvey I can see that you two now that will last a lifetime" Jessica smiled as the corners of Harvey's mouth started to turn upwards. She was right, he knew that.

"I should probably get back to work, correction I should probably do some work since today I have literally not even logged on" Harvey realized he hadn't so much as opened his laptop never mind do any work whatsoever.

"Seriously Harvey are you okay" Jessica stood so that she was next to Harvey where they both leaned on her desk

"I think so, I think she's going to be okay" He looked down "She has to be right"

"Harvey go home with Donna right now and just relax you two have a long road ahead and you should enjoy every moment with her before he treatment starts which I assume starts soon"

"How did you kno…" Harvey registered what he was saying and to who "actually never mind" He pushed himself up from Jessica's desk and started to leave the room, stopping to mouth a thank you as he made his way into the halls. Going home with Donna now seemed like a great idea to him. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. Even it wasn't it didn't matter. He would tell her anyway because the idea that it wouldn't be just wasn't an option for him right now.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4- The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins

In the days leading up to Donna's chemotherapy treatments she had been in and out of clinics and hospitals so much that she was already sick of seeing the bare clinical walls. First it was to the fertility clinic and hospital check-ups and 101 different tests. They had inserted a port in her neck so that they could easily inject the chemo into her veins. It felt a little weird at first but Donna sometimes forgot it was there half the time. Now she was ready and she was going to get her first chemotherapy treatment.

Donna woke up that morning unreasonably early, she had intended to sleep in since she wasn't working that day but she couldn't sleep. Today was the day the battle began. The doctor had walked her through everything that was going to happen and told her not to worry but she couldn't help it. She lay in her bed wide awake while Harvey was still fast asleep next to her. She looked over to her bed side table at the clock which flashed the numbers 4:57. She didn't need to be in the hospital for another 6 hours but something told her she wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep.

She briefly thought about waking Harvey up but what would be the point in that. He would just be grumpy that she woke him so early; he was not a morning person. Besides he looked so peaceful and seemed to be having a nice dream as every now and again a small but noticeable smile would appear on his face. She wondered what he was dreaming about that made him smile so much and how he was not at all nervous about today. Truth was he was dreaming about her in some sort of alternative universe where the world was not crappy. Where she was not sick and they were just a normal happy couple taking to the streets of New York with bliss.

Donna could never get used to Harvey in her bed. She led there for an hour just watching his chest rise and fall with every breath. She carefully placed her head down on his torso so she could hear the beat of his heart. Instinctively Harvey wrapped his arm around Donna pulling her in closer so his warmth spread across her whole body. She could stay like this all day she thought to herself.

It was now approaching 6:00 am and Donna decided that it was now more acceptable for her to get up. She slowly shuffled her body away from Harvey's, carefully lifting her fingers one by one so not to wake him. She tip toed across her bedroom grabbing her dressing gown that was draped over a chair in the corner. She proceeds to leave the room as she fastened the silk clothing around her body. Ordinarily when she woke up early she would snuggle up on the couch with a hot chocolate and watch some rubbish TV until it was a more reasonable hour, however she didn't want to risk waking Harvey. Instead she made herself a cup of tea and just sat in her living room staring at how the rain dripped down the window.

She had no idea how long she had been like that when she heard the door to her bedroom creek open.

"Donna" Harvey still looked so sleepy; his hair was a total mess "What time is it?" Harvey rubbed his eyes as he spoke

"Um" Door started up at the clock on the wall that sat above the door "Just gone 7:00"

"What are you doing up so early?" He collapsed down on the couch next to her and shut his eyes closed again. Like I said he's not a morning person.

"I couldn't sleep" Donna looked down at her tea which had now gone cold.

All Harvey wanted to do was take her back to bed and go back to sleep but that didn't seem like an option for Donna. She was scared he got that he was scared too. "You're worrying" Harvey sighed as he spoke

"Well" Donna was about to deny it when she realized there was really no point. That is exactly what she was doing.

"Do you want me to take your mind of it?" Harvey smiled and started to kiss Donna's neck making her tilt her head back.

"I suppose if it would make you feel better" Donna laughed as she moved to sit on Harvey's lap. Harvey ran his hands across her back before gently tugging on the strip of fabric around Donna's waste. This caused the dressing gown to fall effortlessly to the floor thus removing the clothing between them. The way Harvey kissed her this morning was different. It was not intentional but he seemed to kiss her with more passion than before, like he was savouring the moment more. Suddenly Harvey pulled back from Donna's lips and looked deep into her eyes.

"You have nothing to worry about Donna, I am going to make sure you are okay" he tucked a stand of hair behind her ear "I promise" This reminded Donna of that night after Harvey saved her from going to jail. He said he wouldn't let anything bad happen and that she didn't need to be scared. She thought that was the toughest time of her life but this, this was so much harder. Though having Harvey to hold her and comfort her made her stronger.

Donna didn't say anything. Instead she replied by placing her hand behind his neck and pulling his lips back towards hers. She lifted her hips up and gently lowered herself onto him. With the chemo later she realized they may not be able to do this for a while so she took her sweet time. Together they hit every sweet spot on each other's body making this morning one of the best times so far. This was saying a lot because they were both pretty awesome at it. After they had both finished they lay there on the couch cuddled up together.

They spent the rest of the morning just talking and laughing like they always had in the past. Neither of them spoke about the cancer or mentioned the chemotherapy treatments. They decided that they would just laugh together like nothing was wrong but soon the clock struck 11 and they were in the waiting room at the hospital. Donna had been taken into an exam room to have some blood taken and then was sent back out into to the waiting room before she could start her chemotherapy. She felt as though her brain was travelling at 100 miles an hour. It was happening now, it was all happening. Harvey didn't say a word but simply held her hand to comfort not only her but himself also.

They were soon called by a nurse who took them into a rather large room set up with a dozen chairs. There were already half a dozen people in the room all receiving chemotherapy. Each was occupying themselves with a different activity. One older man was reading the newspaper while a woman more similar to Donna's age was knitting way. One thing she did notice was that no one was really talking. There was one couple who whispered to each other every now and again but apart from that there was an unnerving silence. The people in this room were obviously all at different stages of treatment. Most had lost their hair but there was one young boy who still had a full head of hair despite some subtle thinner patches. To be honest the majority of people didn't seem bothered by the needles poking into their arms. Those were the ones who have been going through it a while Donna thought. It was all too normal for them.

The nurse told Donna to sit down in the chair right in the corner of the room. She was therefore seated next to the elderly man reading the newspaper that briefly looked up and smiled at her as she sat down. Harvey sat down in the very clinical looking chair next to Donna and gripped onto her hand tight. The nurse started getting the equipment ready by checking the machine next to Donna's chair and pushing a few of the buttons. Donna was then asked to unbutton the top two buttons of her shirt so that they could prepare the area of her neck where the needles would be placed.

"Okay so I'm going to start giving you all the different drugs before we start the chemo drip. It is just a few steroids, relaxers and anti-nausea drugs. Your doctor should have gone through all this with you too" The nurses voice was a little chirpy and soothing which helped Donna as the nurse acting like it was no big deal made Donna feel like there was really nothing to be afraid of.

"Yeh he did" Donna looked to Harvey as the nurse used Donna's port to inject all of the drugs.

"Okay I will just go ahead then if that's okay with you" The nurse pulled over a tray with an array of different syringes, drugs, cleaning products and other medical equipment. She started by rubbing the port with some sort of antiseptic wipe and then attached the first of the syringes on the tray to Donna's chest. Donna couldn't help but notice as the nurse injected the drug she could actually taste it going in and it also had a very distinct smell. It was a very medicinal taste.

The nurse explained the process to Donna as she did everything and although Donna had been through it all with her doctor and read all the leaflets it really helped her to have it explained as it happened. Instead of seeing it all as one big scary experience it helped to break it up into little steps that weren't that scary at all. With Harvey listening intently to the nurse for all the side effects Donna felt like it would all be good. Harvey wanted to know exactly what to look out for. He couldn't freak out every time Donna felt bad in case it was something was wrong. He needed to know what was normal and what he needed to worry about happening.

Finally the chemotherapy treatments were started. The first drug just looked normal and clear but the second one was bright red and Donna was informed that it could make her pee go red as well. Something to look forward to then she joked to herself. Then the nurse inserted a drip and she was informed them it could take around 2 hours to complete. Harvey and Donna were finally left to it like all of the other people in the room.

"It doesn't hurt does it" Harvey signalled his eyes over to the port in Donna's chest.

"No it feels weird but it doesn't hurt" Donna turned her body a fraction to the left so that she was ever so slightly leaning towards Harvey

"Good" Harvey didn't know what to say but Donna just seemed to appreciate that he was there with her. That is all he could really do.

Donna was starting to get really sleepy, she was told earlier that it was completely normal and so she wasn't worried about it but she was having such a hard time keeping her eyes open. There was a small TV in the corner of the room that she was trying to focus on but her eye lids just seemed so heavy.

"Donna are you okay?" Harvey noticed how she seemed to be concentrating way too hard of the TV and her eyes kept shutting for extended periods of time. He swore he could see bags start to form under her eyes.

"I feel like someone has attached weights to my eyes" Donna joked

"Okay well as soon we are done here I'll take you home to your comfortable bed and you can sleep until your hearts content" Harvey ran his hand up and down Donna's arm drawing little circles as he did. While they were waiting for the drip to finish Donna rested her eyes and Harvey spent his time flicking between her and the TV. Soon the nurse can back and removed the drip. She gave Donna yet another leaflet on what to expect after chemotherapy and what to look out for.

"So shall I take you home then?" Harvey knew she had been dying to go home and sleep so was just glad they were finally able to home.

"Yes please" She couldn't think of anything she would rather do right now. She was exhausted and starting to feel a little nauseous.

As soon as Donna got into the car she leant against Harvey and fell asleep almost immediately. Donna lived close to the hospital but Harvey wanted to let her sleep for a while so told Ray to take a longer route back. Nevertheless Donna was still sound asleep when Ray pulled up outside her apartment. Harvey thought about waking her but decided that there was no need. Carefully he got out of the car and undid the seat belt around Donna's body. He gently placed one arm under her legs and the other around her shoulders. This way he could manoeuvre her out of the vehicle. Ray assisted Harvey a little by opening the doors for him and unlocking Donna's door but Harvey managed to get Donna into her apartment without waking her.

"Thanks" Harvey whispered to Ray who had just peeled back the covers on Donna's bed so that Harvey could lie her down "you can go now if you want, I've got it from here" Ray nodded in understanding and closed the door behind him as he left.

Harvey briefly thought about changing Donna's clothes into more suitable night time attire but quickly decided against that. Tucking her in, he lightly kissed her on her forehead which made her stir a little but not wake up. Since there was no way he was going to leave Donna alone he then proceeded by getting his laptop which he had brought to hers the day before and logging into the Person Specter Litt desktop system. Louis was supposed to be taking care of his clients while he was not in work but he just had to make sure he hadn't screwed everything up. He hadn't thankfully. Mike had sent him a few files that he needed to look at and Jessica had sent him something about the case he had been working on so while he had some time he get started on some work.

It was approaching 6:30pm when Harvey called his named being called. It was a weak call, kind of like she was struggling to shout out to him.

"Donna what is it?" She looked very flushed and her facial expression told him that she was not feeling all that good. She had slept since they left the hospital but she still looked tired. The bags under her eyes were now much more noticeable.

"Harvey I think I am going to throw up" Donna brought her hand to her face as she tried to swallow down a small amount of vomit. Quickly Harvey ran into Donna's bathroom and picked up the bin to use as a sick bucket. Better in there than all over her bed right? He got back just in time as she started to throw up immediately into the bin. Harvey walked around the bed and started to rub circles on her back as she wretched. As Donna stopped spewing she reached to her bed side table for her glass of water and rinsed her mouth out.

"Sorry" she whispered as she collapsed back down on the bed

"Donna it's fine, do you need anything else?" Harvey was still led on top of the covers next to her.

"No but could you stay with me" Donna was craving him by her side as she felt like crap, for lack of a better word, and so needed him by her side.

"Of course let me just go clean this out in case you need to vomit again" Harvey leant over her and grabbed the bin. He soon returned and placed the now clean bin back on her side of the bed. Since it was still early Harvey stayed on top of the covers sat up against the head board while Donna curled up next to him under the covers. She brought out her arm and placed it across his middle. She was soon sleeping again but Harvey couldn't get up without disturbing her so just grabbed a book from the night stand to read. Soon he too was beginning to feel sleepy. It had been a long day for him too. He placed the book down and drifted off to sleep still on top of the covers.

Rachel rang the doorbell to Donna's apartment but got no answer. She wanted to check in on Donna after her first round of chemo since she didn't want her best friend to be alone. She knew that Harvey had offered to go with her to the hospital but she assumed he just went home after that. No one knew about Harvey and Donna yet, they had decided not to tell anyone. It was only 8:00 but Rachel assumed that she was sleeping so let herself into the apartment with a spare key Donna gave her a few years ago. She had stopped off at a corner shop and got some trashy magazines for Donna to read. When she wondered over to her bedroom to check on her she almost couldn't believe what she saw.

Harvey was sleeping on top of the covers with Donna snuggled into him. It was the cutest thing she had ever seen. They both looked so peaceful together like they just fitted well. She had wondered if they had been getting a lot closer since Donna's diagnosis as she had only told Harvey for a while. This answered that question she thought. She thought about snapping a quick photo for Mike to see but it seemed a little creepy also she didn't want to risk waking either one of them. Silently Rachel left the room, placed the magazines on the coffee table and exited the apartment to go home. She had to tell Mike what she saw. He would be so thrilled.

Rachel rushed back to her apartment she was barely keeping it together. She opened the door whilst squealing "Oh my god" over and over again. She had the biggest smile of her face.

"Rachel, what has got you so happy?" Mike loved it when Rachel got this excited it was the same excitement that kids get when their parents take them to Disney Land. It was one of the things that reminded his just how much he loved her.

"You are not going to believe this… I think you might have to sit down" she said pulling Mike down on the couch where she too sat down.

"Okay, spill" Mike leaned in. Whatever this was it was good for sure.

"So you know I said I was going to stop in at Donna's and make sure she was okay" Mike was about to reply but Rachel was too impatient so carried on before he had the chance "so when I rang the doorbell she didn't answer so I assumed she had gone to bed already so I let myself in and put the magazines I got her on the coffee table"

"Yeh and" Mike was getting inpatient he wanted to know what got her so excited not the whole story of her life.

"Shh, just let me finish" God, the context made the story Rachel thought to herself. He always had been impatient but geez she was telling a story here.

"Sorry please continue"

"Okay so then I thought I would check on her just to make sure she was okay and guess who she was all snuggled up with"

"Oh my god no" Rachel just smiled and nodded letting him no he was absolutely right "Harvey and Donna were cuddling in her bed" Mike clarified.

"I swear to god it was the sweetest thing I have ever seen" Donna and Harvey had always had a relationship Rachel didn't really understand. In fact I don't think anyone really understood it. Rachel had always routed for them to be together regardless. She truly believed they were meant to be.

"How long do you reckon they been…" Mike moved his eyebrows up and down "you know"

"I have no idea but I'm so glad it finally happened. You have no idea how much Donna loves him" Rachel on numerous occasions had questioned Donna about Harvey. Although she always denied it the way she spoke about him told Rachel that she was full of shit.

"You know when she left him" Rachel nodded in understanding "he missed her so much he had actual, physical panic attacks"

"Noooo, Mike how have you not mentioned this before" Rachel slapped him lightly on the shoulder to show him her disapproval. How did he never think to mention that to her?

"Well he would kill me if you knew and I kind of felt like it wasn't my secret to tell" Rachel understood that. There are things Donna shared with her that she hadn't or wouldn't tell Mike. It's what friends do, keep secrets for each other and apparently in Donna's case keep secrets from each other as well.

"So do you think they are properly together now or was it just a one off?" Rachel saw them cuddling it could be explained in a variety of different ways still she was pretty sure they couldn't do that without doing the other thing first. It was all or nothing with those two.

"I have no idea but Donna's going through a lot right now I can't see Harvey doing that without committing considering everything she is already going through" He knew Harvey could be a dick sometimes but he wouldn't do that to the woman he has loved for 12 years. Surely that had to be serious. Harvey wouldn't want to risk her leaving again when she was that sick and he had finally come to understand why Donna left.

"I hadn't even thought about that. They must be together like properly" Mike raised his eyebrows. It was a sign that Rachel knew what she has to do "I know I will go to Donna's tomorrow and make her confess" This was the best news she'd got all year and Mike getting out of jail was pretty good news. She just couldn't believe they had managed to hide this or maybe it was new and that was the first time. She had no idea but it really didn't matter she was just overjoyed that her best friend had the love of her life to help her through the toughest battle she will ever have to face. Harvey better not screw this up otherwise he will have to answer to her and Rachel can be pretty mean when she wants to be.

Meanwhile over at Donna's apartment, Donna woke up around midnight feeling nauseous again so sat up which in turn caused Harvey to wake. "Donna, are you going to be sick again, do you need the bin?" Harvey wasn't that good in these situations but he seemed to be doing okay here

"No I don't think I am I just feel a bit nauseous" Donna squeezed her eyes shut as she spoke. "Harvey"

"Yeh what is it?" He was panicking; it was sweet.

"Why are you still dressed and on top of the covers" Donna sniggered as she concentrated on distracting herself so she wouldn't throw up.

"Oh well someone fell asleep on me and I didn't want to wake them" He had already started removing his clothes as he spoke and Donna watched as he stripped down into his boxers. He then slid in bed next to her pulling her back in close to him with a "come here you" Soon they both drifted back to sleep neither of them waking till the alarm went off in the morning.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- The Day After Yesterday

Donna was surprised she managed to get through the night only waking up once. She kept getting waves of nausea but it was manageable. She didn't quite get to the point of throwing up she just felt like she could. Realising she hadn't actually switched off the alarm she swung her arm at the clock to stop the beeping. Harvey, like usual, slept through the alarm; how Donna had no idea. How could he possibly not wake up to all that noise. Donna often thought she could probably steal the mattress and he would still stay sound asleep. She however was quite good in the mornings so got up straight away despite still feeling like she could do with another 8 hours of sleep.

Donna had slipped on one of her designer dresses and done all her make-up by the time Harvey finally woke up. Obviously Donna had this crazy idea that she was going into work today; the day after chemo. Donna being Donna was not going to take a single extra sick day if she could help it.

"Donna what the hell are you doing?" Harvey knew exactly what she was doing and he did not approve one bit.

"I'm getting ready for work something that you should be doing too" Her reply warranted an eye roll from Harvey who had still failed to actually get out of bed.

"Donna no, it hasn't even been one day you can come in tomorrow" Donna scoffed; she was fine just tired that's all she could still work she had reasoned with herself. She didn't think tiredness required a day off work. She would just get some coffee and then she would be set.

"Harvey you couldn't possibly last a day without me besides I promise I will leave if I don't feel well. Now get up otherwise you are going to make me late" Reluctantly Harvey made his way out of her bed and put on the suit which he had left there two days ago. He hadn't actually been home in a while but since he didn't go in to work yesterday he assumed no one would notice it was the same outfit from two days ago.

"I can't believe you are not going to take a single day off" Harvey muttered just loud enough for Donna to hear.

"Hey that's not true I took yesterday off" she smiled as she knew exactly what he meant but she didn't care. If she said she felt okay and could work he was just going to have to accept that. As Donna made her way out of the bedroom she stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh my god" Donna stared at her coffee table where Rachel had placed the magazines the night before.

"What, what's wrong?" Harvey basically sprinted to where Donna was stood. He was afraid that something was wrong but as he reached her side he realised it had nothing to do with any of that. Though he wasn't remotely sure what it was about.

"Rachel knows" Donna stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Harvey however would require more of an explanation.

"What Rachel knows what?" It was too early for Harvey to interoperate all Donna's Donna stuff. He loved her amazing powers of deduction but it was sometimes hard for him to keep up.

"She knows about us" God how could he not work that out. She had put two and two together as soon as she saw those magazines sitting on the coffee table. She forgot how slow he could be in the morning.

"How could you possibly know that?" Still confused what Donna was on about Harvey kind of dismissed her realisation for craziness. When would he learn that she was always right?

"The magazines, she came by last night when we were both sleeping to drop off these magazines, she must have seen us in bed together. How could she not" Donna turned to face Harvey. She had liked living in a little bubble with him she wasn't ready to become the gossip of the firm. She was already everyone's talking point this would just make it so much worse. People had always given Donna looks when she said they were just friends or colleagues. Everyone assumed that they were secretly dating or had a 'friends with benefits' arrangement but now they were kind or right. They were together. Donna doesn't know why she cares so much what other people think but somehow when it came to her and Harvey it had always bugged her. Probably because she spent so long convincing herself she didn't love him when people questioned her it forced her to acknowledge that she really did love him and want him in that way. That's never what she told people though.

"Oh, so I suppose Mike knows too then" Harvey was quite proud he had thought of that but obviously Donna did not share his excitement. He understood why Donna didn't want to tell people but to be honest all he wanted to do is scream it from the rooftops. He was finally happy with the love of his life despite everything that was happening. Harvey, unlike Donna, didn't give a shit what anyone else thought. It wasn't about other people it was about him and her finally being happy as a couple despite everything else. Besides Jessica already knew anyway. Although Harvey hadn't told Donna this she knew. He knew she knew.

"Obviously" Donna sighed as she picked up her bag "come on we are going to be late" she walked out of her apartment in a little sulk which would normally result in her pacing around and walking way to fast but she was so tired even walking to the car seemed like a marathon.. Ray was waiting for them both as they arrive on the sidewalk and when they came into sight he got out of the vehicle to open the door. When Donna got into the car and sat down she was breathing heavily, like he had just finished a 5k run.

"Donna" Harvey looked over at her. She was not okay she should be in her bed resting or watching day time TV not going to work. She was out of breath walking from the apartment down one flight of stairs and although she had put on make-up there were still bags faintly visible under her eyes. It wasn't something that anyone else was likely to notice but it was something he picked up on. It seems knowing Donna for 12 years has taught Harvey to become more observant.

"Harvey… I'm... fine… just a bit… tried" she said between heavy breaths

"Well you certainly don't sound fine" he raised his eyebrows in protest.

"Harvey I work… at a desk… it's not like I will be… moving around all the time" she had just about caught her breath by the end of her sentence. He didn't like it one bit but she was not going to give in. He saw the determination on her face as her breathing returned to normal.

"Okay but we are leaving early" Donna rolled her eyes but actually leaving early sounded quite nice. She was tired already and she can't remember the last time she left work before six.

When they arrived at the firm they made their way to the elevators but there was a sign blue tacked on the wall next to the elevator button reading,

 _Maintenance of upper levels, access up to level 45 only. Sorry for any inconveniences._

"No come on, I'll take you home" Harvey gently pulled on Donna's arm but this was a battle Harvey was never going to win. Donna just hoped he wasn't going to be like this all day.

"Harvey don't be ridiculous its only 5 floors" Donna pushed the button to call the elevator.

"Donna" Harvey forced her to look at him "you got tired walking from your apartment **down** one flight of stairs"

"Harvey I'm fine" The elevator dinged and Donna got on "Are you coming or what?"

Donna stood in the stair well looking up to all the stairs she was going to have to climb. They went as far as she could see. It may be possible that she underestimated how many stairs made up five flights. It was a daunting task. It was too late now though. She had made it this far she couldn't just go home now, as soon as she got to her desk she would be fine she convinced herself. Harvey gave her a knowing look as she looked back to him but that just made her more determined. God she was stubborn.

By the second flight her legs were aching and her vision was starting to so blurry. She had never been this tired in her whole life and she has gone 36 hours with no sleep before.

"Donna just take a minute to catch your breath" Harvey could literally see the sweat starting to form of Donna's forehead and her sound of her breathing filled the entire stair well.

"Fine just a minute" She said as she slid down the wall into a sitting position of the floor. She was told that Chemotherapy can make you tired but she didn't imagine it would be that bad. She figured she would just have to go to bed earlier than usual of would need a coffee boost mid-day not that she wouldn't even be able to climb five flights of stairs because she was too exhausted. This was just humiliating. Harvey sensing her frustration sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Donna it's okay why don't we just take today off and we will watch whatever film you want to and we can come back to work tomorrow" He was trying his best to be supportive but he couldn't bear to see her like this. It broke his heart to see her like this.

"No" Donna said "I can do this I just need a minute" a single tear fell down her cheek as she spoke. She felt utterly pathetic she was just praying that no one else would discover them. If anyone else saw her like this she thought she might die.

"Fine" Harvey stood up and placed the file he was holding in Donna's arms.

"What, what are you doing?" Donna was so confused right now. She could barely climb the stairs as it was, why was he giving her this file? Did he expect her to carry his stuff up to now?

"I'm helping you" Harvey placed his arms under Donna's arms so that he could lift her onto her feet. He then scooped his arm under her legs and lifter her up of the ground.

"Harvey you don't need to carry me" though Donna made no attempts to break free from his hold. This wasn't the first time he had carried her up steps. It was just last time she was fast asleep.

"Yeh well we don't have all day we have work to do" he laughed as he started to climb the last three flights of stairs. This whole situation was making them both laugh a little. When they reached the top Harvey was now the one struggling with his breathing. Ordinarily Harvey would have climbed the stairs no problem, he was a fit guy, but having to heave another person up made the activity ten times harder. He quickly caught his breath though.

"Thank you Harvey" Donna whispered in his ear and he let go of her legs allowing he to find the ground again. When she straightened up their faces were just inches apart. She lifted herself a little on her heals and just gently pressed onto his lips with hers. Neither of them said anything else and together they proceeded to Harvey's office. Normally Donna would stop at her desk whilst Harvey carried on but today Donna walked behind him following him into the office. She made her way to the couch and led down for a minute. Even though she didn't even climb most of the stairs she still felt tired, the walk from the stairs to his office made her tired.

"I promise I will work I just need to lay down for a bit" Donna stated as she shut her eyes and raised her arms so that they rested under her head. She was not admitting defeat but lying down for a few minutes couldn't hurt.

"Donna its fine, take as long as you need I'll just start sorting through some of these papers" Harvey pointed the large pile of files on the desk which had piled up after his absence yesterday. Missing even one day ended in Harvey having a mountain of paperwork to sort through. Soon Donna's few minutes rest ended up with her falling fast asleep. Just as she dozed off Mike entered Harvey's office.

"So I was looking at the documents that Klienman sent us and I think I may have found something" Mike hadn't even noticed that Donna was asleep on the couch until he saw Harvey staring at her. It was sweet how Harvey couldn't keep his eyes of her. He probably wouldn't have even notice she was there if Harvey hadn't been so fixated on her.

"Harvey" Mike called out to snap him out of his day dream "Are you going to help me with this or are you just going a stare at Donna as she sleeps?"

"What I wasn't" Mike raised his eyes brows before Harvey could even finish denying it which caused Harvey to press his lips in a thin line. His eyes quickly darting back to Donna's sleeping figure. She was so beautiful. Harvey wondered how he had not allowed himself to think that before when it was all he could think about now.

"How is she?" He had never seen Donna looking like this before. It was unsettling. She never showed any vulnerabilities before but here she was asleep in Harvey's office.

"She's tired" Harvey kind of frowned as he spoke.

"Why did you come in? I could have held down the fort here for one more day"

"You don't think I tried that, she's stubborn" Harvey was very good at getting people to do what he wanted but not when it came to Donna. She held all of the power in their relationship.

"It's annoying isn't it?" Mike saw the irony in that. Harvey was exactly the same way. Another reason they were so perfect together.

"Just give me the god damn file Mike" Harvey held out his hand and started flicking through what Mike had been working on when Donna woke up. Mike was the first to notice. Harvey had been trying not to stare and in doing so he didn't notice her eyes start to open.

"Hey, Donna how are you feeling?" At first she looked confused before be registered where she was and remembered. What started off as confusion then turned to utter embarrassment. She was just thankful that it was only Mike and not anyone else in the office with Harvey. She would have willed the ground to swallow her up if it had been a client or something.

"Mike? Oh I'm fine thanks" she rubbed her eyes and then turned her attention to Harvey "Harvey what the hell why didn't you wake me?" she quickly got up and picked her bag off the floor. She didn't know what was worse; the fact she fell asleep or the fact that Harvey just let her. In his office.

"You were tired so I let you sleep" Harvey shrugged

"I can't believe you let me sleep in your office" Donna pouted on her way out of the office to her desk. She sighed as she sat down and started arranging Harvey's calendar for the day.

Mike had that really annoying grin on his face again; it was the same one he wore when he and Rachel had gotten together. God it was annoying Harvey thought "Oh just spit it out Mike I know you know"

"Actually I was just going to say I'm glad she's doing okay" Mike walked over to the couch where Donna had been sleeping "I bet she loves to sleep with you around huh" Mike giggled like a teenage girl but Harvey didn't reply, a simple roll of the eyes would suffice. "No all I mean is I bet you two have been 'sleeping' together a lot you know because she's tired"

"Mike that's enough. She has been tired. Really tired and that has nothing to do with me" Harvey looked down at his feet letting Mike know that he crossed the line. Immediately Mike regretted teasing him.

"Sorry Harvey your right, I am really happy for you two" Harvey looked up at his young associated who had removed the childish grin from his face and was now wearing a much more sincere smile.

"Thank you Mike" Harvey picked the file back up and they went through the file together and came up with a plan to get their client exactly what they wanted. It was a bulletproof plan and Harvey had no doubt it would work so Mike got to work with setting up the meetings require to carry it out. This gave Harvey a chance to check on Donna before he got into the case again.

"Sorry I didn't wake you" Harvey leant over Donna's desk whilst she continued to type something on her computer "I was just wondering how you are doing?"

"Harvey I'm fine for the millionth time, I just need to get on with my work" Harvey's interruptions were annoying but they showed how much he cared so she let it slide most of the time. She just needed some normality.

"You were right you know" Harvey smirked

"Well of course I was, I always am but you may have to be more specific here Harvey" Donna twirled her pen between her fingers as she spoke. She was thankful for the change in conversation.

"Mike and Rachel do know" Harvey bit his lip to try and hold back his smile but Donna noticed. He was happy they found out and deep down so was she.

"I know" Donna replied "you know what this means though" Donna smiled as she thought of a way to wipe the smile of Harvey's face. He looked at her confused and Donna continued "they are going to want to double date now" Donna giggled as Harvey grimaced at the idea. He never cared for dinners with anyone apart from Donna. The thought of having to endure a whole night of Mike and Rachel made Harvey sigh.

"So …" Harvey said in an attempt to change the subject "how about I come back at 1:30 and I will take you out to lunch somewhere away from these offices"

"Hmm, tempting but I'm not sure I might have plans then" Donna was just toying with him but it was kind of fun. It was all too easy for her to do.

"Well maybe I could convince you" he leaned in so close he could smell the perfume on her neck and lips gently grazed her ear. His touch sent shivers running down her body.

Just at that moment Louis was heading towards them mumbling something Harvey didn't care about causing Harvey to increase the space between them again. Louis was so busy blabbing on that he didn't even notice he had interrupted a moment between them. Harvey sighed and walked off leaving Donna to deal with Louis. Donna normally wouldn't have minded but today she wasn't sure if she had the energy to deal with him today so she shot Harvey a stern glare as he escaped.

"Hey Donna back so soon, how are you?" Louis' smile stretched from ear to ear which led Donna to wonder what had him in such a good mood

"I'm doing well Louis what has got you so happy" It was refreshing to see Louis this happy. Throughout Mike's whole trial Louis had a permanent frown but now he was smiling so much Donna couldn't help but notice how many teeth he had. How had she not noticed this before?

"Oh nothing…" Louis didn't have to say another word Donna had already figured it out so she cut him off by moving her finger towards his lips as a sign he should stop talking. There was only one thing that could make Louis this happy and even in Donna's exhausted state she knew exactly what that something was.

"You got a new cat didn't you?" Donna had nailed it again she was spot on. Louis nodded like a shaken up bobble head "I'm happy for you Louis now what can I…" she paused for a second as a wave of nausea hit her and brought her hand to her face. The feeling soon dissipated though so she just continued "…do for you?"

"Donna what's wrong?" In one second Donna had managed to turn Louis from the happiest he'd ever been to completely petrified. This is what she hated the most about the cancer. People were afraid all the time which meant every time they were around her she brought them down. It sucked but it wasn't anyone's fault.

"Nothing Louis"

"But you"

"I said I am fine" Donna almost screamed in his face which was harsh but it was so frustrating everyone constantly watching over you. Besides she was still tired and so she didn't fully think about what she was doing before she had already bitten his head off.

"Okay well I just need to go see Harvey if that's okay" Louis said much more timidly now since he had obviously pissed her off.

"That's fine just go in" Donna regretted shouting at him but why couldn't people just accept that she was fine and let her get on with her life.

When 1:30 rolled around Donna could hardly believe it was only lunch time. This day was dragging so much to her it felt like 10:00pm. She was just putting her things in her bag when Rachel appeared at her desk. She hadn't seen her friend in a few days and she missed her. Donna was so used to seeing her every day. Also she knew she knew about her and Harvey and to be honest she had been waiting to have someone to talk to about it all. It made it all real, talking to her about it confirmed that it was actually happening.

"Hey Rach it's good to see you" Donna smiled pulling her into a hug

"I though you would have taken the day how are you feeling?" There it is that question again. Donna felt like she should get a t-shirt that said I am fine so people would stop asking, though instead of screaming again she opted for her usual witty comment.

"Please when have I even taken the day I'm just a little tired but nothing I can't handle" Donna pulled back from the hug and gave Rachel a reassuring look to try and get rid of the disapproving look she had on her face.

"Anyway, we need to catch up do you want to go get some lunch"

"Oh I'd love to but I promised Harvey" Donna could actually see Rachel eye brows rise before she had even finished that sentence.

"Oh I see how it is then" Rachel mocked her friend but before Donna could defend herself Rachel carried on "fine but if he gets you now I get you later"

"Okay, come to mine after work" Donna shouted as Rachel already started walking back towards her office "and bring wine" she shouted causing Rachel to turn back around and smile. Although she was excited to catch up with her friend she was kind of hoping it wouldn't last too long so she could have an early night

A few seconds later Harvey arrived to take her to lunch "What was that about?" Harvey gestured with his eyes in the direction of Rachel's office.

"Oh she is going to come around later we have some catching up to do" she winked at him

"Oh so I suppose I won't be coming over then because had some other activities planned" Despite the chemo Harvey and Donna were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship meaning all he thought about was being intimate with her all day.

"Harvey I made a deal you get me now she gets me later sorry but you will just have to wait" Donna wasn't really sure if she was up to what Harvey was suggesting anyway. She would probably fall asleep half way through of something.

"I suppose we will just have to make the most of it now then" he leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"Harvey people can see us you know this entire office space is filled with glass"

Harvey knew she was right. If they were not careful t wouldn't just be Mike and Rachel who knew about them it will be the entire firm. With the way he had been acting this morning they were lucky everyone hadn't already figured it out.

"Harvey is it okay if we don't go out?" A small frown grew on Donna's face. Donna knew he probably had some nice restaurant or café booked but this day was making her so tired she just wasn't up for going out.

"Sure, we can go to mine and I could make you something"

"Perfect" Donna smiled "I didn't know you cooked" Donna thought she knew everything but Harvey still managed to surprise her on occasion. Harvey simply raised his eye brows and headed for the elevators which he had been told were working again which was good as he could tell she was still tired. It was obvious when she asked if they could not go out that she was feeling drained. Donna loved to eat out but obviously she wasn't feeling up for it.

As soon as they arrived at Harvey's apartment Donna headed straight for his couch and tucked her legs underneath her while Harvey went into his kitchen and started routing through cupboards. Turns out Harvey didn't have any food in his apartment except a few tins containing various different foods neither of them would want to eat.

"So" Harvey said sitting next to Donna "turns out I don't have any food so how about I order from that shitty Thai place"

"Yeh whatever" It felt nice to finally be away from the office, even if Harvey's couch was the most uncomfortable couch she had ever sat on. Note to self- make Harvey buy a new couch with actual cushions.

Harvey got back up to get his mobile that he left on the kitchen counter. He ordered their usual and was soon back next to Donna on the couch. Donna wasn't letting herself sleep but Harvey could tell that she wanted to so he pulled her head to his chest and just held her. Donna appreciated the extra warmth so snuggled into him more. She could stay like this forever. She closed her eyes and listened to the steady beat of his heart. The steady rhythm of his heart meant leaning on his chest like this had become one of her favourite things to do.

Soon the doorbell rang and Harvey collected the Thai food of the delivery guy giving him a larger than usual tip that reflected his mood. He walked over to Donna and placed one of the boxes in her hand along with some chopsticks. She opened the box but the smell of the food made her feel nauseous. She had been getting waves of nausea all day despite the medication they had given her and so somehow she realised she would not be able to eat.

Harvey noticed Donna wincing as she opened the box "What's wrong you love the Shitty Thai"

"I do I'm just not very hungry" Donna said as she move the food around the takeaway container. The smell of the food filling up her nostrils made the nausea worse.

"Just have a little bit" She was already low on energy there was no way this could hurt. Besides something told him she was going to insist on going back to work so she needed to eat something. He was worried she would pass out or something the way Donna had been feeling today.

Donna took a small mouthful but she immediately felt the urge to throw up so decided to leave it there. If she ate any more she would defiantly just throw it up a minute later. Harvey carried on eating as he now watched her play with the food. When he had finished he took the leftovers into the kitchen. He had planned on doing some other stuff this lunch time but Donna was certainly not up for it. He returned to the couch and just held her like he had done before the food arrived.

He kissed her on the forehead which made Donna look up at him. Her eyes were tired but the smile on her face contradicted them. She pushed herself up so she could reach his lips and softly pressed her lips to his. They made out for a while before Donna seemed too breathless to carry on.

"That was nice" Donna commented. They had never kissed like that without taking it further. For them kissing was just the build up to all the other stuff but not now. They both poured everything into that kiss like it was all they would ever need.

"Harvey I don't think I can go back to the office" Donna finally admitted that maybe she was just too tired to go back which took a lot for her to finally accept.

"I know" Harvey smiled back "Why don't we just stay here for the rest of the day"

"No Harvey, they need you" she couldn't go in but that shouldn't stop him. She knew that Mike would need Harvey for the case they had been working on earlier.

"So do you" He said as he ran his thumb across her bottom lip.

"Harvey go, all I am going to do is sleep" She was right and Mike could really do with some help on the case they were supposed to be working on. The kid was good but he wasn't Harvey and no one was as good as Harvey. He didn't like the idea of leaving her alone when she wasn't feeling well he wanted to be there for her but she was right. He needed to go to work even if she couldn't. Harvey suggested Donna move to his bed so she could be warmer and tucked her in.

"Now if you need anything call me okay" Harvey had left a bottle of water on the nightstand along with her phone and some extra pills in case she needed them.

"Okay" she whispered barley managing to keep her eyes open as she rolled on her side to go to sleep.

Harvey spent the rest of the day working while worrying about Donna. She had been tired all day and kept having waves of nausea. Although he did manage to do some work he was distracted and everyone knew it. When 5:00pm came around he decided to go home and check on her. Normally he wouldn't dream of leaving the office before 6:30pm but today was an exception he was just on his way out when Rachel walked into his office.

"Rachel what can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering where Donna got to I was going to go back with her" Donna had completely forgot to cancel her plans with Rachel.

"Oh yeh she didn't come back after lunch. She needed to sleep"

"Oh is she okay?" Rachel and Harvey were not exactly close so it was a little awkward talking about anything that was not work related but one thing they both had in common was their affection for Donna. They both cared deeply for her.

"I think so she just went to bed I was about to go check on her"

"I can go if you want we really need to catch up" She still hadn't talked to Donna about her new relationship with Harvey and she was dying to know the details. Besides Rachel had some news of her own that she wanted to tell her. With everything that was going on at the moment she hadn't had a chance to talk.

"Well…" Before Harvey had a chance to continue Rachel cut in again.

"Please Harvey it would be really nice to spend some time with her with everything that is going on" Rachel was sure that Harvey wouldn't want to share her.

"I was just going to say she is at my condo but I think she wants to talk to you too" Harvey could do with some time to do some actual work without worrying about Donna. With Rachel with her he could get a lot more done. He smiled at Rachel whose whole face lifted when he had mentioned Donna was at his. Harvey placed his door key in Rachel's hand.

"Thank you I will leave this with Donna" Rachel said holding the key up in front of her. This was so uncharacteristic for Harvey. He never liked people in his condo especially Rachel who he barely knew. His action's made Rachel realise just how much he must care for Donna. Letting her sleep in his bed and giving her best friend access to his apartment.

Rachel headed straight for Harvey's condo and let herself in. She considered knocking first but she didn't want Donna to have to get up if she was still in bed.

"Hello Donna" Rachel called out as she walked in the direction of Harvey's bedroom. It felt so wrong that she was going to go into her boss' bedroom

"Rach" Donna had obviously just woken up and was not expecting to see her here. "What are you doing here?" Donna didn't ever imagine that her and Rachel would be in Harvey's condo without Harvey.

"Harvey said it would be okay to come round" Rachel smiled as Donna sat up in the bed and started to tie her hair into a messy bun.

"He did" Donna was also surprised at Harvey's actions. Rachel thought it was a little odd and it was reassuring to know that Donna though it was odd also. "I'm glad you came" Donna turned to her friend and lifted herself out of the bed. "I'll get something to drink what would you like?" Donna had originally thought they would sit an drink some wine but she felt so much more like a cup of tea now.

"Don't be silly I'll get the drinks what do you want" Rachel moved to the door way before Donna could protest

"I'll have a tea if that's okay" Donna thought Rachel would most defiantly prefer the wine but she just couldn't right now. Her friend seemed to understand though as she smiled and went into the kitchen searching the cupboards for some mugs.

"Second cupboard on the left top shelf" Donna commented as she realised Rachel didn't know where anything was. She sat down on one of the stools positioned at the kitchen top and leant on the cold surface.

"Thanks" Rachel said pulling two mugs out of the cupboard. She then filled the kettle with water before turning back to Donna "tea?"

Donna smiled "end bottom cupboard middle shelf" Rachel then appeared with two tea bags which she placed into the mugs. When she had finished making the drinks she then placed them on the coffee table next to the couch and gestured for Donna to come and join her.

"So, details come on spill" Rachel grinned as she looked at Donna

"I don't know what you are referring to" Donna laughed. Obviously they both knew what Rachel was talking about but Donna liked to have her fun and after sleeping all afternoon she was feeling slightly more awake.

"Come on" Rachel raised her eye brows "You and Harvey finally… and you don't tell me" Rachel faked a hurt expression

"What do you want to know?" Donna smiled as she thought about how happy she had been with Harvey. Yes they were going through a shitty time but when it was just her and Harvey she forgot all about it. He told her she would never have to be scared again and when she was around him she didn't feel scared. Everything was less daunting and terrifying when Harvey was there.

"When?"

"Since he found out about my cancer and I know what you're thinking but it wasn't like that. I think he was finally ready to admit how he felt it had nothing to do with it." Donna always had a thought in the back of her mind that he was only with her because she had cancer. That if she hadn't been diagnosed they would never be together but deep down she knew that wasn't even close to true. He was with her because he was finally able to admit his feelings and she knew it would have happened anyway. It may have taken a bit longer but it was always going to happy

"I'm just glad you two finally came around" Rachel took a sip of her tea "the only ones who couldn't see that you two should be together were you guys"

"Thanks Rachel" She placed her hand on Rachel's knee.

"Okay so… I think we need to discuss the most emotional question" Rachel repeated Donna's words from the day Donna found out about Mike and Rachel's relationship. Rachel, just like Donna did, started to move her fingers slowly away from each other.

Donna laughed at her young friend "oh wouldn't you like to know" Donna winked which sent them both into a laughing fit. After Rachel had managed to squeeze a few more details out of Donna she then moved on to tell her the news she had

"So I wanted to ask you something" Rachel changed the conversations

"Go ahead" Donna gestured with her hand for Rachel to continue.

"So now that Mike is out of jail we have decided to get married"

"I'd love to" Donna looked at her friend who hadn't actually asked her anything yet but Donna knew where it was going

"I haven't asked you anything yet"

"You didn't have to" Donna smiled. She had been waiting for her friends to hurry up and get married so she could go out and by a killer dress.

"Hey we could make it a double wedding" Rachel knew it was way too early but it was worth a shot right?

"Woah hold your horses there, me and Harvey have been dating for a matter of weeks"

"But you've known each other for nearly 13 years now"

"I don't think we are quite there yet" Donna had actually thought about marrying Harvey. She never let herself get that far when she was dating anyone else but with him it was different. He had always been different. Rachel and Donna started discussing wedding arrangements for a while but as the conversation went on Rachel noticed Donna get more tired. She was trying to hide the yawns but Rachel was not oblivious. She was about to leave Donna to sleep when Harvey arrived home

"Hey" Donna said looking up to Harvey as he walked in.

"Hey" Harvey replied in the same tone. He then looked over to Rachel who was still smiling "Rachel"

"Harvey" Rachel replied in the same tone. They all just waited in position for a few moments as they felt the awkwardness build. No one knew what to say. Rachel then broke the tension "Well I should be going now" Rachel turned to Donna and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for letting me come round Harvey" she placed the key had given her back in his hand

"Bye Rach" Donna shouted from the couch as Rachel left the condo. She then turned back to face Harvey who had taken the seat that Rachel was previously in. "How was work?" She said as she ran her hands through his hair

"Apart from having to deal with a far too emotional Mike it was okay" Harvey always made fun of the fact that Mike was incapable of hiding what he was feeling. Ever since he had found out about him and Donna he had an annoying grin of his face. Donna laughed at Harvey's typical analysis of Mike "What did you and Rachel talk about?"

Donna's smile grew at this question "I think you and I both know what we talked about" Right she was again. Harvey did know. "Oh she did mention that her and Mike want to get married they have set a date"

"I know Mike mentioned it briefly this afternoon, asked me to be best man"

"I could have guessed that and I am going to be the most awesome maid of honor ever" Donna replied smugly.

Harvey didn't doubt that for one second "Hmm best man and maid of honor huh, look at us being amazing together" Harvey matched Donna's arrogance. Donna laughed and looked down. Something she does sometimes when Harvey complements her. Don't get me wrong she knows she is amazing but something about when Harvey says it makes her blush.

"I love you" Harvey says lifting her chin back up so that she was forced to look into his eyes

"I love you too Harvey" She said as she leaned in for a kiss. Harvey then went off to make some dinner. He had stopped off and picked up some ingredients for spaghetti bolognese only when he started making it he realized Donna had fallen asleep on the couch. He stopped what he was doing and covered her with a blanket so she wouldn't get cold. He then put her portion of spaghetti the fridge in case she felt like some food later. He was mid-way through the washing up when Donna woke up again.

"Hey did you want anything to eat?" Harvey said gesturing towards the fridge

"No I'm good" She sat up "I'm still tired you fancy joining me in bed" She walked up behind him and hugged him from behind as he cleaned a saucepan, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Sure" he said turning around to kiss her neck "I'll be there in a second" Donna walked over to the bedroom and got under the covers. She could have gone back to sleep straight away but she wanted to wait for Harvey. He appeared just a few minutes later and started to change into some pyjamas. When he got into the bed he laid his arm out so that they could be closer. They then went straight to sleep in each other's arms again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Authors note: Sorry this chapter took me longer to post I have been so bus recently. This is the last chapter that I have pre-written so from now on it might take me a little longer to upload chapters as I am basically writing them as I go along now. Thank you everyone for the great reviews I am glad that you like the story. Hope you enjoy this chapter (it is a little shorter but my last one was longer so I suppose it evens out) I will try and upload the next chapter sometime this week :)**

Chapter 6- A Stranger's Reflection

Donna went to the hospital every two weeks for her chemo treatments. She was getting used the whole process now she had just finished her third cycle. She would go in with a trashy magazine and get given all her drugs. Then she went home to Harvey and took a half day the next day. This was a compromise that she had made with Harvey after he first chemo treatment. Then after that she would return to work like nothing was wrong. Each treatment Donna seemed to have less side effects and feel a little better. It still made her tired and slightly nauseous but it was manageable. She had noticed that sometimes her mouth would hurt. She had never actually found a sore but there was this pain that would spread across her whole mouth. It would only last a day though and then it would go away so it wasn't too painful. All in all she was handling the chemo very well she thought. However that was all about change now.

She got back from the hospital with Harvey who came with her this time. Donna had never been alone but for the second treatment Rachel had gone with her instead as Harvey was dealing with a small crisis. As per usual they went back to her place (because Donna preferred her bed to Harvey's) and she went to sleep. Harvey joined her a few hours later and that was all normal. It was the next day in the morning that changed things for Donna. She woke up feeling less tired than she had the other two times though to be fair she had slept until 10:30am. She decided to go into work a little earlier than her agreed upon 1:00pm start since she wasn't feeling too bad. Harvey had already gone to the office and Donna hopped into the shower.

As she was washing her hair she noticed that clumps were falling out onto the shower floor. She thought she was one of those lucky people who didn't lose their hair during chemo. Not all patients do but she was not one of those people. Donna had always loved her hair. She loved being a red head it gave her vibrancy and an edge. People called her red; it was one of her defining features. She felt silly but she had been dreading having to lose it. Her doctor had warned her that this could happen but now that it was actually happening she couldn't cope. She sat herself down whilst the warm water still hammered onto her back. She started to collect the big clumps of hair that had fallen out and twirled it around her fingers. Harvey always twirled Donna's hair around his fingers and Donna never knew why until now. The way her hair would stay in small ringlets even after you let it go was oddly satisfying. It seemed like such a small thing losing something so superficial but to her it just felt like such a big deal.

Eventually she got out of the shower and walked over to the mirror above the sink. Her once thick, voluminous hair not looked patchy and thin. She barely recognised her reflection as her own. Do you know what it is like to look in the mirror and not see yourself? It was like she was looking at a complete stranger. Tears were now streaming down her face. She looked hideous like a fricking ogre or something she thought. It wasn't true though but that's what she saw when she looked at her reflection. Her skin was less vibrant, there were permanent bags under her eyes and her hair was patchy and gross. How could she ever leave her apartment looking like this? She couldn't; she just couldn't.

Meanwhile at the office Harvey was absolutely swamped again. Turns out it takes a lot of extra work to re-build a firm and with Mike out he had no choice but to focus on that now. He was meeting with new and old clients convincing then to either join the firm or come back. Most of the time he was unsuccessful. He also had to make sure all his existing clients were happy so he couldn't go around pissing people off like he used to. Despite all this he still found time to be constantly worried about Donna. Since her last treatment had gone so well that eased the feeling a little but when the clock turned to 1:15pm and Donna was still not at her desk he couldn't help but panic a little. He decided to go look for her maybe she had gone to see someone instead of going straight to her desk he thought.

"Mike have you seen Donna today" Harvey asked impatiently

"No but Harv…" Harvey had already walked off before Mike could finish the rest of his sentence. He went to go find Rachel. Donna could have easily gone to see her.

"Rachel please tell me you have seen Donna today" Harvey was starting to get desperate now. He was supposed to have a meeting at 1:30pm but how could he possibly go to that if he didn't know if Donna was okay.

"No Harvey I haven't spoken to her since yesterday. Is she okay?" Rachel could see the panic of Harvey's face which told her that Donna could be in trouble

"I have no idea" Harvey walked back down the corridor towards the partner's kitchen that Donna always used but she wasn't there either. He rang her multiple times as she searched the whole firm but she wasn't answering so he made his way back to Mike's office.

"Mike I need to find Donna, tell Jessica or someone to take over my meeting" Then before Mike could respond again Harvey was off to go look for her at her apartment. For all he knew she could be anywhere but there seemed like a good place to start. He spent the whole car journey imagining all the different scenarios in his head. Perhaps she collapse an hit her head; maybe she was in a car accident; she could be lying in a hospital bed somewhere. He had no idea. Harvey was not an optimistic person so every thought he had was a bad one.

He let himself calling her name as he popped his head into the kitchen and then made his way through the living room to the bedroom. That's when he saw her. The bathroom door was open and she was balled up against the wall crying into her knees.

"Donna" Harvey ran to sit down next to her causing her head to jolt up "what's wrong are you okay" he asked as Donna continued to cry. He pulled her head into his chest and whispered "Donna whatever it is we will get through it just talk to me"

Every time Donna went to open her mouth to speak she just started to cry again. She knew it wasn't that big of a deal and she was crying like a child but it just seemed so crushing. Every time she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, the changed appearance reminded her of the illness and everything she'd been through since the diagnosis.

"Donna it's okay" Harvey repeated for comfort "Everything is going to be fine" Harvey had gone from comforting her to also comforting himself. Seeing the love of your life curled up in a ball crying their eyes out was heart-breaking. He swore he would never let anything bad happen but this wasn't something he could just fix. The fact that Donna couldn't even go long enough without crying to explain why she was crying didn't help matters one bit.

"It's just so stupid" Donna muttered in-between tears making Harvey confused "Why is it affecting me this much?" She turned to Harvey who still had no idea what she was talking about.

"What changed Donna?" Donna opened her fist to reveal a clump of her red hair that had obviously fallen out. He then looked at her properly and saw her hair was much thinner and a little patchy in parts. He had been so focused on her tears he hadn't even noticed till just now. Now he understood why she was so upset. She had feared this would happen before she had even started treatments and he had been worried it would make her feel different, like she wasn't herself anymore.

"Come with me" Harvey stood up and pulled Donna off of the bathroom floor. Now it was her chance to be confused as he led her into the bedroom. She sat herself down on the bed while Harvey went to his side of the bed to pull something out of the draw in the nightstand. It was blue box with a piece of silk white ribbon wrapped around it. I was about the size of a large book and Donna had no idea what was inside. Harvey sat himself down on the bed next to her and placed the box on her lap. Donna just looked at it for a moment wondering how the hell Harvey had put that in her bedroom without her noticing and how long it had been therefore and also what the hell was inside it

"Well open it then" Harvey smiled at her and she wiped the tears from her face before she pulled on the end of the white bow unravelling the ribbon. She then slowly removed the lid from the box to reveal some white tissue paper. It was like a pass-the-parcel present or something. She then pealed back tissue paper to reveal a silk headscarf. It was red (of course) with a subtle but beautiful floral pattern. Donna was lost for words. She hated the idea of having to wear a headscarf but this one was so beautiful she almost wanted to wear it

"So…" Harvey could see shock on Donna's face but couldn't work out whether she loved it or totally hated it. Maybe it was too soon and he should have waited before he gave it to her. She might not want to think about having to wear a headscarf yet. "Do you like it?" He tried to search her eyes but she was still fixated on running her fingers through the fabric.

"Yes" She finally locked eyes with him. Her eyes were still glossy and full of tears but for a completely different reason now. She just couldn't believe Harvey had thought to go out and buy this before she had even considered it "I love it, it's beautiful" She smiled once again looking at the scarf

"You're beautiful" Harvey countered making Donna love him even more if that was even possible. Donna leaned in and started to kiss Harvey. Since the first chemo treatment they hadn't been intimate. That was a month ago now and Harvey hadn't complained once. They had gotten close but Donna was either too tired or not in the mood which she felt really guilty about but now it was all she could think about.

She started to kiss her way down Harvey's neck and chest and slowly started to un-do the buttons of his shirt. Harvey responded by pulling off the towel Donna had wrapped around herself during her shower. Recently Donna had felt weak and very unsexy and she thought that Harvey would think that too now she was losing her hair but that was so far from the truth, she could see that now. Donna Then started to work on Harvey's belt. She could feel his arousal getting stronger and who could blame him it had been a month. Once all the clothing was removed they both stopped for just a second.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" Even though she had been the one to initiate this he needed to make sure he wasn't rushing her or making her feel pressured to do something she didn't want to do.

"I'm sure just come here" she smiled pulling his lips into hers again. Harvey leant over her forgetting how much he had missed being this close to her. He had to do most of the work but it was still amazing they just worked so well together in every way. Donna met all of Harvey's thrusts making the experience just that much better for them both. It didn't last long but Donna was grateful for that as she lacked the stamina that she used to have.

Soon they were lying in each other's arms again both trying to catch their breath. How they had both done without this for so long was a mystery.

"That was" Donna started

"Awesome" Harvey fished. He ran his thumb across her cheek "You're awesome" he admired everything about her. The way she was battling through this illness whilst still working crazy hours and putting up with him was pretty amazing

"I couldn't do any of this without you" Donna kissed his softly on the neck as a kind of thank you "you know when you said you needed me"

"Hmm"

"Well I need you just as much" it was true. Just take today for example if she didn't have Harvey she probably would have spent her whole day on the bathroom floor and refused to leave the apartment but he gave her the strength to get back up. He gave her reassurance and confidence when she needed it the most. To most people Donna was a confident person and they were right most of the time but just like anyone else she had her insecurities. Somehow Harvey just made them less important.

"We should get to work" Donna said as her mind brought her back to reality. It was getting late and soon she would be leaving ten minutes after she arrived. Harvey had figured out arguing with her about this was useless so just got up and started collecting his clothes from around the room.

Donna put on a dress which showed off her figure perfectly. Since she was feeling very unattractive she had put on a dress that made her feel sexy again. She then tied the rest of her pathetic hair into a bun so she could cover it with the scarf Harvey had brought her. Don't get me wrong she loved it. The colour was great and she loved the pattern but she couldn't get used not having her hair. She sat looking in the mirror until Harvey walked up behind her gave her a kiss on her neck

"You look stunning" Harvey knew it bugged her that she didn't have her hair anymore but he really did think she looked stunning without it. If anyone was going to pull off a bold look it was Donna. She simply sighed and went to get a bag to go with her outfit out of her wardrobe. They were both just about to walk through the door when Donna stopped.

"I can't do it" Donna thought she could but her brain obviously didn't agree as she stood frozen on the spot.

"What" he was still holding her hand confused to why she had stopped all of a sudden. He thought the scarf would have helped but she still couldn't come to terms with it

"I'm so sorry I just can't let people see me like this" She felt pathetic but she thought about people looking at her scarf and then giving her that look. The look that says 'I feel so sorry for you' that look of pity. That is not the look she wanted from anyone. Harvey didn't know what to do he had tried to help her but he wasn't good with this kind of stuff and he was out of ideas.

"Donna all that scarf tells people is that you are an amazing woman who is fighting for her life and looing great while doing it. What are you afraid of?"

"It's just I know when people see me like this they will pity me and I just I don't want to be seen like that" It all sounds so ridiculous when she says it out loud.

"Just don't think about them" Harvey grabbed her hand "Screw what they think just be your witty, sassy self and people will see there is nothing to pity" Harvey smiled as the corner of her mouth began to twitch upwards

"When did you get so good with words" he was saying all the right things today and although she still didn't want to see anyone he made her able to do it anyway.

"I learnt from the best" He winked as they both went to meet Ray down on the sidewalk

"Miss Paulsen you look very nice today, love the scarf is it new?" Ray had always been such a sweetie Donna had thought.

"Thank you in fact it is new" Donna smiled back at Harvey "Also Ray" Donna turned to him before she got into the car "You really need to start calling me Donna"

"Noted" he smiled as she then slid into the car and he shut the door behind her. Then it was off to work like every other day. Donna was now starting to get nervous about seeing everyone. Harvey notice because she was tapping her fingers on her knees. When they arrived she took a breath before getting out of the car and staring up at the huge Person Specter Litt building

"You ready?" Harvey squeezed her hand

"As I'll ever be" she said lifting her head up and walking tall into the offices. Soon she was sat at her desk, Harvey was sat at his and all was right with the world. She got on with her work since she had such as late start. Harvey's calendar was complete mess and she had only taken one day off. How did he even manage to do that after one day? She got so stuck into her work she forgot all about the hair situation until Rachel approached her desk a little later

"Hey" Rachel said as she leaned on Donna's desk "Love the scarf" She smiled

"Oh um yeh thanks"

"Are you doing okay I know I would hate it" Rachel seemed to understand it all a lot better than Harvey and Donna was thankful for that. She needed someone who understood because as great as Harvey was at saying the right things he would never truly understand.

"I'm okay I mean I almost didn't come in today but I am glad I did Harvey would not survive one more day without me" Donna laughed as she knew that Harvey would be in his office listening to their conversation right

"Well if it's any consolation I don't think I would have been able to, now if you'll excuse me Louis has just got back from his lunch break and apparently he needs me to listen to a meeting he recorded on his Dictaphone" Rachel rolled her eyes and quickly walked towards Louis' office leaving Donna with a smile on her face

"See what did I tell you, you look beautiful" Donna heard over the intercom as Harvey looked at her through from his office with his usual Specter smirk.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7- Something old, new, borrowed and blue

Donna had been helping Rachel plan her wedding since she had found out about her and Mike's plans to have it asap. They had decided they wanted it to be small and so Harvey had offered his condo for the ceremony. Donna and Rachel had come up with an invitation list that was compelled of eight names. Her and Harvey (obviously) and then Jessica+1, Louis+1, Rachel's Mum, Rachel's Dad, Gretchen and to Donna's surprise Benjamin. Apparently Mike and Benjamin were friends or something. Anyway it was the night before the big day and Donna was over at Harvey's getting his apartment ready for the ceremony, much to his delight.

"So I got some flowers to go on the balcony and I was thinking we could move your furniture a little so that people can dance and congregate in the living room area" Donna was so excited about this wedding and it took her mind off the surgery that she would be having the beginning of next week.

"Whatever" Harvey was not in the least bit interested in the flower arrangements and floor plans of his condo but it made Donna happy so he just went with it.

"So I'm thinking let's move the couch into the corner out of the centre of the room" Donna said pointing to the far right corner of the room.

"You know that couch can be used for other things" Harvey smiled and started to kiss Donna's neck.

"Harvey I'm serious" she said shrugging her shoulders to try and get him to focus.

After Donna had rearranged Harvey's living room a million different ways she finally settled on an open arrangement. The couch was out the way but still available if people wanted to sit down. There was a small round table near the fireplace where she placed Harvey's record player and the coffee table was moved into Harvey's bedroom so it was out of the way. With a few extra chairs at the kitchen counter and in the corner of the room it created the perfect space for drinking, dancing and socialising.

"There perfect" Donna face lit up as she looked around the room. "We can dance here" She moved to the center of the room "and food can be placed there" she gestured towards the island in the kitchen area "and they can get married right here" she skipped out to the balcony and looked out at the night time view of New York City. They just needed to arrange the flowers in the morning and it would be perfect.

"Perfect" Harvey commented but he wasn't talking about the wedding set-up or the skyline like she was. He was talking about her; she was perfect.

"So Rachel is coming over to mine in about 1 hour and Mike will be coming round here right" Harvey nodded in response to confirm. Mike and Rachel had decided they wanted to sleep apart the day before their wedding something about luck and making the wedding night more special. Harvey didn't really get it but that was only because it forced him to spend the night without Donna. Something he hadn't done since they had been together.

"Okay so I better get going" Donna turned around and her and Harvey were now stood their faces just a few centimeters apart.

"Stay" Harvey whispered although he knew that she couldn't

"Rachel will… er…" Harvey's close proximity was making her brain go all fuzzy "…be waiting" she mumbled whilst putting some distance between them.

Donna then quickly got her bag so she could leave. If she stayed any longer she feared she would never be able to go. She hated the idea of not sleeping with Harvey by her side. She used to be really good at sleeping alone and he ruined that with his gorgeous hair, stunning physic and radiating warmth.

"You know we probably have time to… you know" Harvey walked back to Donna as she stood up straight after collecting her bag. She was tempted. He could tell that she wanted to.

"Harvey" she moaned as he started to kiss her neck "I need to go" She mumbled willing legs to carry her out the apartment before she lost all will power and stayed. Harvey carried on kissing her, nibbling a bit on her ear but she soon moved away and headed for the door.

"I will see you tomorrow" She turned back to him before heading to her place, leaving Harvey stood alone in the middle of his condo. Donna got to her place just in time to get changed from her work clothes into something more comfortable and clean up some of the mess she hadn't had time to clean up recently. She spent half her time at Harvey's so the amount of housework getting done was slowly decreasing. She had just finished tidying up some take away containers when Rachel knocked on the door.

"Hey Rach come on in the doors open" she shouted from the kitchen leaving the young lawyer to let herself in.

"Hey so I brought some wine and some movies that I thought we could watch" She said placing the bottle down on the kitchen counter.

"I'll get the bottle opener" Donna swiveled around to open the draw where she kept the bottle opener. When she did she also noticed the cap opener in the corner of the draw which reminded her how much she wanted to spend the night with Harvey. Nevertheless Donna was a good friend and so if she had to be apart from him for one night that was not a lot to ask. She then poured her and Rachel two large glasses of the red wine and they both sat on the couch.

"So are you nervous?" It would be completely understandable given how their last marriage attempt turned out with Mike in jail and Rachel crying on the church steps.

"You know I thought I would be but it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. I mean when you truly love someone I think marriage isn't a scary prospect it's just something to show the other person just how committed you are to them. Then when you think about getting married it just feels right… you know?" Donna did know. It was too soon for her and Harvey but she had been thinking about it especially with her surgery coming up and it didn't seem scary to her. She imagined her in a white dress and him in expensive suit and it seemed like the most logical thought her brain had ever had. Like it was so natural and meant to be.

"Yeh I know" She smiled looking off into the distance thinking about Harvey. Rachel noticing this couldn't help but feel happy for her friend. It was inspiring to look at everything she and Harvey had been through over 12 years and how they ended up now.

"So which movie do you want to watch I have Love Actually or The Notebook" Rachel held the two films in front of her which caused Donna to snort a little "What's so funny?" Rachel had no idea what she had done to make Donna react this way.

"It's nothing" She continued to laugh as she replied "It's just if Harvey was here I would be having a 30 minute lecture on why classic films are the best and this quote 'modern day romantic drivel' is ruining film culture" It's true. Harvey loved his films and refused to watch anything he deemed 'bad'. "Let's watch the Notebook" Donna finally said as she realised she hadn't actually answered Rachel's question.

Over at Harvey's condo he and Mike had also opted for a night of movies. They however decided to watch the Shawshank Redemption. Harvey said he didn't want Mike to forget how the last wedding ended so that he wouldn't ruin this one by going to jail as well. Though in all honestly Harvey knew that Mike would never do that again. The way he looked at Rachel told him that there was no chance he would bail out on this wedding. Now that Harvey had Donna he understood Mike a little better. Mike cared for people and that's what drove him to protect them. Harvey would do anything for Donna and he knew Mike was the same way about Rachel. He never fully understood that until now.

It was getting quite late when Harvey and Mike decided to call it a night. Harvey set Mike up on his couch with some extra pillows and blankets from the cupboard. He then went to bed himself but he couldn't sleep. His mind kept wondering to Donna and what she was doing. Was she in bed like him? Was she still chatting away with Rachel? He was not used to not being without her at night. It felt cold without her there. He missed the smell of her perfume and the feel of her skin against his. She snored very slightly, not that he would ever mention that to her, and it helped him drift to sleep. Everything about her made him wonder how he had ever slept on his own before. He lay in his bed staring at the ceiling just hoping that sleep would find him until his phone started to ring. Who the hell was ringing this late at night?

"Hello" Harvey almost grunted through his tired state into the phone.

"Hey it's me" Donna whispered since Rachel was just in the next room "Has Mike gone to bed?" Donna wanted to make sure she wasn't interrupting them or anything.

"Yeh I'm just failing to go to sleep whose bright idea was it for Mike and Rachel to sleep at out places" Harvey knew that it was something they had to do as best man and made of honor but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"It was Rachel's and you can't sleep either huh" She had also been missing his warmth in bed. Somehow everything just seemed so much emptier when they were apart.

"I miss you" Harvey admitted. It was rare to Harvey to admit his feeling like this but recently he had been shocking her with his openness and willingness to express himself.

"I know I am awesome but I think you will survive one night without me" Donna teased but she felt the exact same way.

"Hey you're the one that called me remember" Harvey teased back.

"Well I just wanted to make sure Mike was well rested for tomorrow" Donna lied; she just wanted to hear his voice but she wasn't going to tell him that. It wouldn't have been half as fun, besides she knows he knows anyway.

"Okay sure" Harvey called her bluff "Shall just hang up then now?"

"I suppose I could talk to you for a bit since you miss me" Donna smiled knowing that he was never going to hang up that phone until he had to.

"I regret saying that already" Now Harvey was lying because he didn't regret it one bit. He vowed to always be truthful and he is just being honest.

"I miss you too Harvey" Donna said in a much more serious tone. It was the reason she had called after all and although she teased him it needed to be said.

The two then just led there the phones next to them not speaking. They could hear each other breathing through the line and both of them appreciated that. Soon they were both asleep with the phones still next to them. Neither had hung up. When the morning rolled around Donna woke up first and whispered a morning into the phone but she could hear Harvey's soft breathing that told her he was still asleep and so she finally hung up. She could help but think the phone company and going to be really confused why she made a 8 hour phone call.

Donna walked into her living room where Rachel was sleeping and noticed the bride-to-be was staring up at the ceiling smiling which in turn made her smile "Morning gorgeous" Rachel flinched at Donna's sudden appearance but soon went back to smiling. "How did you sleep?" Donna continued.

"Good thank you so much for letting me sleep here Donna" Rachel knew that Donna would always be there for her and she really appreciated their friendship.

"Shh it was my pleasure now we should probably eat some breakfast before we start getting you ready" Donna grinned at her younger friend with excitement. She was beginning to get more excited than Rachel she soon thought but not for the wedding so much as seeing Harvey again. She wanted to dance in his arms and watch the sunset go down like they had been apart for months and were finally being reunited again.

"Sounds good" Rachel was a foodie so where a lot of Brides would skip breakfast this was not something that Rachel was likely to do. Breakfast was her favorite meal of the day she believed a good breakfast meant a good day.

"So… Eggs? Pancakes? Bagels? Toast? Cereal? What's it going to be?"

"Hmm all solid options but Egg makes you breath smell, Pancakes and Bagels are too filling and cereal is a little plain" Rachel smiled

"Toast it is then" Donna looked over to the toaster where she had already put the toast in. She knew what Rachel would pick she was just being polite by asking. The whole situation made Rachel laugh but she was used to it now she had been friends with Donna for so long.

They then sat down on the couch and tucked into their breakfast. They both opted for peanut butter and jelly on their toast. According to Rachel something about the nutty texture of the peanut butter and the sweetness of the jelly made it the best combo and it was also a classic. It just worked.

"So what do you think the men are up to" Rachel started as she put down her piece of toast.

"Hmm" Donna thought for a moment "Mike is probably in Harvey's kitchen making his own breakfast because Harvey said something along the lines of 'you know where the food is I'm not your chef'"

Rachel and Donna laughed little did they know just how accurate Donna was.

"Oh I better call Harvey and tell him to put the flowers out on the balcony" Donna realised she had left that job for Harvey to do since it could only be done in the morning and she was spending all morning getting Rachel ready. Donna left the room for about 10 minutes before she returned.

"So how was Harvey?" Rachel winked at her friend

"He's going to put the flowers out on the balcony now" That was not what Rachel meant but it is how Donna responded.

Then there was a knock on Donna's door and Rachel's mom appeared. She said she would come round to help Rachel get ready since she didn't get to last time. The ladies then spent the rest of the morning doing Rachel's make-up and hair. Donna also did Rachel's mothers hair as well; turns out it was just another thing Donna excelled at. She couldn't help but feel a little sad that she would be wearing a headscarf to the wedding. She had brought a really nice silk one in teal green to match her dress but she missed her own hair. She wasn't going to harp on that though this was Rachel's day and she looked beautiful and that's all the mattered. They were just about to leave to go to Harvey's place when Rachel realized she had forgotten on of the most important parts of being a bride.

She didn't have her something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.

"Wait I don't have my something old, new, borrowed and blue" Fortunately Donna was one step ahead of her and presented her with a shoe box of items she had collected for Rachel.

In the box there was a gorgeous blue clip that Donna had got Rachel's mom to bring. Apparently every woman in her family has worn that clip at their wedding for 4 generations. Therefore it was also something old. As for the borrowed and the new Donna put in a bracelet that she had brought a couple of days ago that Rachel has been hinting at borrowing since she had showed her it.

"Thank you so much Donna" Rachel's eyes were welling up with tears as Donna did up the bracelet around Rachel's left arm and then placed the pin in her hair.

"Yours welcome but no crying because your make-up is perfect right now" Donna smiled at her friend.

"Right come on otherwise we will be late" Rachel's mom said breaking the moment between the two girls. Harvey had sent ray to pick up the three women and so when they arrived downstairs Ray was there waiting. Donna couldn't recall a single time Ray had been late.

Over at Harvey's place he and Mike were suited up and everyone had arrived. They were now just chatting and waiting for the bride to arrive. They were not technically late yet and with Donna in charge Harvey doubted that they would be. She liked to be exactly on time for everything. Soon the doors opened and Rachel's mum entered the condo to stand outside with all the other guests on the balcony. This was it Mike and Rachel were eventually about to get married.

Mike took his place under an arch that Donna positioned for Mike and Rachel to stand under. Rachel's dad left the rest of the guests so that he could walk Rachel down the aisle. He didn't fully approve of the wedding but Rachel loved Mike and he believed that there was a reason for that. As much as he didn't like Mike; Rachel clearly loved him and he clearly loves her and so that was enough. Enough to forgive Mike for his mistakes and give his only daughter his blessing to marry the love of her life. Harvey went over the record player and put on the music Rachel had requested and took his place at the front next to Mike.

The music filled the condo and soon the door opened to reveal Donna carrying a bouquet of flowers. Harvey had not seen the dress she had picked to wear she wanted it to be a surprise and it was. It was a fitted but flowy dress that went down to the floor. The V-neck showed just the right amount of cleavage so it was teasing him but not to revealing or slutty. Her head scarf was the same color as the dress but had just a few small tasteful jewels that perfectly complemented her small pendant necklace and dangly earrings. She looked absolutely stunning.

Rachel followed soon after with her dad and all eyes were on her except Harvey's. He couldn't help but keep his eyes on Donna the whole time. Similarly Mike couldn't keep his eyes of Rachel. Her last wedding dress was a striking ball gown style dress covered with a lace top but this one was different. This one was a lot less bold and fitted their small intimate wedding. It had long lace sleeves that stopped just below the elbow. The fabric flowed from a point just under her bust to create a light weight flowing skirt. It was beautiful and elegant. Mike was the luckiest guy to be marrying this woman he thought to himself.

Mike had again asked Father Walker to initiate the wedding; it wouldn't feel right having anyone else do it. This time they kept it short and sweet and soon they were husband and wife. Harvey and Donna were doing their best to focus on the wedding but every now and again their eyes would meet and they lost all concentration. When the ceremony had finished everyone moved inside before it got to cold and started to tuck into the food Donna had organised. Harvey again went over to his records and changed the music for Mike and Rachel's first dance.

Mike held Rachel tight as they took their place in the middle of Harvey's condo. Soon Rachel's parents joined in as did Jessica and Jeff. Harvey then went up to Donna away from his record player.

"So would you care to join me" This was the first chance they had gotten to talk since the wedding started. Harvey didn't trust anyone else to change the records without scratching them and Donna was trying to sort out all of the guest with food and drinks.

"Thought you didn't dance" Donna teased him as he once told her that dancing was like the ballet, not something he wanted to enter into. However with him being committed to Donna it was only a matter of time until he did both those things.

"I can make exceptions" He smirked as she looked straight ahead her eyes focusing on the dancing couples. Louis and Tara had now joined in also.

"Well I thought you'd never ask" Donna finally turned to look at him and placed her hands in his. Together they walked over to the dance floor. Rachel, Mike and Jessica already knew about them but the people who didn't were certainly going to find out now but neither Donna nor Harvey cared.

Harvey placed both hands on Donna's hips while Donna joined her hands behind Harvey's neck. She then looked straight into his eyes as they started to sway to the music. Soon Donna broke their eye contact and resting her head on Harvey's shoulder while Harvey leaned his head on hers. They were completely caught up in the moment that they carried on dancing even though the music stopped. Rachel, her mother and Gretchen were talking. Louis was boasting to Benjamin about Tara's pregnancy whilst Tara, Jessica and Jeff were listening and Mike was talking to Rachel's father. They were the only ones dancing but they didn't care.

"They are good together" Tara comment to Louis to try and stop him talking about their baby for one moment

"What Mike and Rachel I know, that's why we are here right" Louis was confused he hadn't even registered what everyone else had started to talk about.

"No not them" Tara laughed "Them" she turned to look at Harvey and Donna as they clutched onto each other.

"What" Louis hadn't noticed them "Harvey and Donna aren't" Louis started but Jessica just raised her eye brows. She had known for weeks now but Louis had always been oblivious when it came to this kind of thing

"Louis look at them" Tara cut in before Louis could deny it again. How was he not seeing this, it was so blindingly obvious they were in love.

"Oh my god" Louis was actually shocked. He knew that Harvey and Donna had gone there once but he didn't think they would ever become anything.

"I think it's nice" Jeff started to speak "I mean I haven't known them that long or that well but I knew they belonged together" Even an outsider like Jeff could see how deeply they cared for each other.

"To be honest I thought they had been together for years" Benjamin then contributed. Everyone in the office (before they all left) said that they were an item and when he saw them he had no trouble believing it.

"That's what everyone thought" Jessica shrugged. She knew the office gossip and she always heard people saying things about them being together.

Donna looked back up to Harvey "You know the music stopped a while ago" She smiled.

Harvey just carried on muttering an "I know"

"They are talking about us" Donna looked towards the group of people over by the kitchen counter.

Harvey still didn't let her go "I know"

"We should probably stop and socialise with people"

Letting out a breath Harvey then whispered back "I know" but again made no efforts to stop. He felt so at home with her in is arms he didn't ever want to let go.

Donna leaned back to look in Harvey's eyes again but when she did a tension was created between them. Harvey pulled her hips into him more so that their bodies were flush with each other. He placed his lips next to her ear and whispered "why don't we really give them something to talk about" and then his lips moved to hers. Before she could even register what was going on his soft lips had caused hers to part giving him full access. His tongue slid against her causing goose bumps to spread over her whole body. Anyone would think they had been separated for years not just one night but in a way they had been separated for years; 12 to be precise.

Everyone around the room all stopped their conversations simultaneously to watch the spectacle that Donna and Harvey were creating. Rachel's parents didn't really get it but everyone else was smiling as they saw their friends together at last. Mike decided they were having far too much fun in their little bubble. He started to clap and soon the whole room had joined in much to Harvey and Donna's embarrassment. They pulled back from their moment and Donna immediately started blushing. Harvey stroked Donna's cheek before focusing his attention on all of the people who continued to clap.

"Okay shows over" he said giving Mike an evil stare who just laughed in response. "I think I need a drink"

"Me too" Harvey took Donna's hand and they started walking over the drinks table. Harvey poured Donna some red wine and then himself a Macallan 18. Just as they turned around the happy couple were stood right behind them, both with a mischievous smile.

"Hey if it isn't Mr and Mrs Ross" Harvey smirked as he took a big sip of his drink. Something told him he was going to need it.

"You know you guys are kind of stealing the limelight" Mike joked, he was always rooting for Harvey and Donna and it was nice to see them together without caring about anyone else

"How does it feel to be married?" Donna cut in before Harvey and Mike could get into a cycle of witty comments and one liners

"It's great I would highly recommend it" Rachel smiled turning to her now husband "also I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight" Rachel laughed.

"Devil Wears Prada really Rach I think Mike is rubbing off on you" Donna recognize the movie quote immediately. I mean who hasn't seen Devil Wears Prada it's a classic.

"You ain't heard nothin' yet" Mike came back with a quote from The Jazz Singer. This could go on a while.

It was continued by Harvey "If you would ask me I would have to say in all honesty, Everybody's fine. Everybody's fine."

Which Mike followed with "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible"

Donna rolled her eyes "Now we have gone to when Harry met Sally seriously"

Mike chuckled at Donna's objections "I wish I knew how to quit" He shrugged as Rachel then pulled him away something about him needing to see something.

Soon it was late and people started to leave. First it was Benjamin who had been talking to various people but was not the most sociable person so it was no shocker he was the first to go. He was followed by Rachel parents soon after and then Louis and Tara. Jessica and Jeff stuck around for a little while longer but they too left leaving just Harvey, Donna, Rachel and Mike.

"So when are we getting an invite to your wedding" Rachel asked putting Harvey and Donna on the spot

"Um… well.. We haven't… I mean" Donna for only the second time in her life was lost for words.

Harvey placed a hand on her knee to let her know she could stop stuttering now and then said something that no one was expecting "You'll just have to wait and find out"

"Well I expect you to make me your best man when you do it's only fair" Mike warned Harvey as he motioned his finger towards him.

"Really I was going to ask Louis"

"Well then look forward to your mudding bachelor party" Harvey grimaced at that thought.

"At least I've never been mudding" Harvey laughed as it was now Mikes turn to grimace

"I have" Donna stated rather matter-of-factly

"What" How did he not know this. Donna went mudding with Louis and Harvey never knew

"It's not that bad" Donna looked over to Harvey who had about a million questions "we went a while ago and before you ask we had a separator I did not see his junk like Mike" Donna laughed causing Mike to wince at the memory.

"Trust me no one wants to see that" Mike gulped as he tried to forget the whole experience. Sometimes having a photographic memory really sucked.

The four of the just talked, laugh and drank until the early hours of the next day. It was a perfect ending to the perfect wedding and just having sometime to not think about work or cancer was a blessing for both Harvey and Donna. Donna still had a long way to go and this wedding provided her with the perfect distraction. She couldn't wait until it was all behind her and she could get on with living her life with Harvey like Rachel had with Mike.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8- Going Under the Knife

Toothbrush check, slippers check, flannel check, dressing gown check, book check, magazines check. Right that's all she needs right or has she missed something. She was going to have to be in hospital for a few days since she was having a double mastectomy she didn't want to forget something. She had packed and re-packed this bag 5 times now but it was distracting her and that's all she needed right now. Harvey was trying to help her and calm her nervous and she was grateful for it but it wasn't working. Not even a little bit. After one final check of her bag Donna zipped it up and headed to the living room where Harvey was sat. She could tell he was nervous too but he was trying not to let on

"You ready to go?" Harvey looked up as Donna placed her hand on Harvey's shoulder. Donna nodded her head in response and soon they were on their way to the hospital. The car journey was silent, neither of them knowing what to sat but just being with each other calmed both their nerves.

Donna was shown into her private room and told the surgeon would be over soon to go through the plan one more time and answer any questions. Although Donna had pretty much already asked all of the questions she had and knew the plan backwards and forwards but the hospital were thorough. Donna got changed into the very unflattering, open at the back hospital gown and settled in her bed; Harvey at her side. Soon enough the surgeon, like promised, appeared at the door and ran through everything for the last time.

Donna then had to wait a few more hours before she was taken into surgery. In that time she had visits from Mike, Rachel, Louis and even Jessica. She was pretty sure Jessica was there to make sure Harvey didn't have a break down when she went into surgery. For that reason she was glad she was there. Donna's room was full of people there to support her and between Harvey holding her hand, Rachel gossiping and Louis crying she felt better than she thought she would going into surgery. That was until it was actually time to go.

To doctors came and started prepping her for surgery so everyone was forced to go wait in the waiting area. Harvey was allowed to come back when they were finished and he walked alongside the bed until they reached the double doors leading the OR.

"I'm sorry but this is as far as you can go" the surgeon turned to Harvey

"Oh um okay" He said leaning over to Donna and lightly kissing her on the lips "I love you" he whispered as he pulled back

"I love you too" She smiled back. The doctors then led her away from where Harvey was stood to the operating room.

The room was darker than she had expected it to be but that was just because the lights were all shining onto her chest. The room smelt clinical and there were just three people around her. The surgeon was in a small room scrubbing for the procedure and the anesthetist was adjusting a few dials on the machine next to him. There were two scrub nurses getting all sorts of instruments ready and placing them on a table to her left. She could see why it was called an operating theater. There was something about it that almost seemed elegant which she found comfort in.

The anesthetist then got the mask containing the anesthesia and asked Donna to count back from ten

"Ten, Nine, Eight….." and that's the last thing Donna remembered before she went to sleep.

Meanwhile in the waiting room Harvey sat head in hands his legs shaking as they rested on the floor. Harvey had never felt this hopeless before. He couldn't help her all he could do was sit and wait and he ad never been good at doing nothing. The ironic thing being only person who could comfort him right now was the person he was worrying about.

"Harvey she's going to be fine it's a very low risk surgery" Mike hated seeing Harvey like this it was unsettling to see a man who is usual so together almost falling apart.

After Harvey didn't respond to Mike Jessica stepped in "Harvey" She called but he still didn't look up "Harvey she repeated forcing him to make eye contact "You can't fall apart"

"I don't know how not to" Harvey was trying he really was trying and he knew she would be okay but there was a what if taunting him in the back of his mind.

"I know" Jessica frowned slightly "but you have to anyway"

Harvey took a deep breath and stood up "I'm going to get some coffee" and strolled to the hospital's coffee cart by the lobby.

"You think she's going to really be okay?" Mike put the question out to the floor. Not really aiming it at anyone but Jessica was the one to reply

"Put it this way, I'm more worried about him than her" Jessica knew Donna would be okay. It was a low risk surgery and Donna was the strongest women she has ever met. She would be fine. Harvey however she was not so sure.

It had been a while and Harvey hadn't returned with his coffee yet. Mike was starting to get worried so decided to go look for him. He went to the coffee cart but Harvey was nowhere to be seen. He then thought he could have decided to go to the café on the other side of the east-wing but he had no luck their either. He returned to the waiting area in case Harvey returned but nothing. Eventually he decided to check the men's room in case he had gone in there.

At first glance the room looked empty but then Mike noticed someone knelt down in the end cubicle. When he went over his suspicions were confirmed it was Harvey. He wasn't throwing up or anything but he was having a hard time breathing. He had seen Harvey having a panic attack once before and he was pretty certain he was having another on right now. Mike quickly went outside a grabbed a plastic cup so that Harvey could have a drink of water. That's what they did last time this happened and it seemed to help. Harvey willingly accepted the drink and worked on slowing down s heart rate. After a few minutes of Mike no knowing what to do and Harvey focusing on his breathing his heart rate returned to normal.

"I'm fine Mike" Harvey answered Mike's question before he had even asked it. Harvey knew that Donna would be fine and that soon they would be home again but he felt guilty. He said that he wouldn't let anything happen to her and he let her down. He knew none of this was his fault but he still broke his word. He'd missed out on years with Donna and that was his entire fault. He was the one who wasn't ready and therefore he made Donna's life hard. Now she had cancer and she spent half her life putting up with him when she should have been happy. They could have been happy together. That's what was making him panic. What if she wasn't alright and he lived knowing that he took all those years from her. How could he live with himself? Even if she is completely fine which was the more likely option he still would never be good enough. She deserved more, so much more than he could offer her but he couldn't let her go. Not after everything that has happened he just couldn't not be with her.

Before Mike could say anything Louis hurdled into the room "there you are the doctor came by and said Donna is out of surgery" Louis ad obviously been running around trying to find them so was out of breath

Harvey stood up so quickly that all the blood rushed to his head and made him slightly dizzy "Is she okay? Can I see her?"

"They said it went really well and she post-op" Louis turned around to lead the way

When they reached her room the doctor was stood outside talking to Jessica so Harvey just stood close so he could hear without taking his eyes of Donna. She was hooked up to all sorts of machines and there was a tube coming from her chest. The doctor explained that she was still unconscious but would start waking up soon. They were informed that she could be in a little discomfort but painkillers can be administered so that it is not too painful. Harvey barely heard anything the doctor said as he entered the room and sat by her side. He held onto her hand so tight, like he was afraid to ever let go.

Soon Donna started to wake. It was strange going to sleep in one room and waking up in completely different one. As she opened her eyes she felt this ache across her whole chest but with the painkillers they had given her it was bearable. Harvey noticed immediately as her eye lids fluttered open.

"Hey" he smiled as Donna took in her surroundings. She then grumbled a just about audible hey in return; he voice was croaky and harsh as she felt her throat to be a little dry.

"How you feeling?" Harvey followed up

She swallowed a few times to try and get some moisture back into her mouth before answering "I've been better" which made him smile. That's why she said it he seemed so serious and worried she needed to see a smile on that pretty face of his.

Soon Rachel, Mike, Louis and Rachel came into the room and Donna adjusted her bed so she could talk to them. She had originally tried to move but it hurt and Harvey had stopped her. They talked for a while but Donna was tired and it was getting harder to hide it.

"Well we should really go back to the office, I'm pretty sure Gretchen is the only one there right now" Jessica sensed Donna needed some rest and the others would never leave willingly. She needed to hint to them to leave otherwise they might end up there all night.

"I'm glad you're okay" Mike smiled as he placed his hand on the small of Rachel's back forcing her to leave too

"I'll bring you some more magazines tomorrow" Rachel shouted as Mike practically pushed her out of the room

Louis then grabbed Donna's hand "you get better soon yeh" He said through teary eyes. She had expected this kind of reaction from Louis had always been emotional

"I will Louis" he moved her thumb over his hand before he too let go and left the room. Leaving just Harvey.

"You should get some coffee and a bagel of something it looks like you have been to war" Donna noticed Harvey's grayer than usual complexion he had lost the glow that his darker olive skin usually had. His eyes look tired and he seemed to ave gotten more wrinkles in the few hours she was in surgery. Was it even possible for someone to age that quickly she thought but in all honestly it wasn't that obvious; just to her.

"I'm fine" Everyone had left he wasn't about to leave as well.

"Harvey you need something to eat and drink, I am going to sleep" Donna gave him that look which told him he had no choice but Harvey wasn't going to give up that easily.

"I will go when you are sleeping then, I promise" Harvey refused to leave her by herself. Also he needed her to calm him down because he still felt as though the world was caving around him. She grounded him.

Soon Donna went back to sleep and Harvey kept his promise and went to get something to eat. He went to the café in the hospital and picked up a coffee and a sandwich to go and was soon back in Donna's room by her side. Visiting hours were technically over hours ago but Harvey convinced the nurse to let him stay.

The next morning Donna woke up unable to move her legs. It was like they were too heavy to lift but when she looked down she realized that Harvey had fallen asleep on her bed and his arm was draped across her thighs. He was obviously trying to avoid being anywhere near her chest area in case he moved in his sleep.

When the doctor came in on his morning rounds Harvey was still sound asleep so Donna motioned for him to speak in a quitter tone

"Just came to see how you are doing Miss Paulsen. I need to check your incision sight if that is okay"

"Can you do it later I don't want to wake him" Donna knew it was a long shot but she knew he won't have slept all that well.

"I'm afraid I really need to do it now"

Donna sighed and mouthed an okay and gently shook Harvey's shoulder "Harvey… the doctor needs to look at my incision" Harvey looked around before leaning back on his seat mumbling a sorry.

The doctor peeled back the dressing over Donna's chest and just briefly looked at the incision before putting the dressing back over the wound.

"Okay well the wound looks good and your vitals are good. You will need to stay in the hospital for a few days for observation but so far it look very good to me" The doctor made a few notes in Donna's chart before leaving the room again.

"How did you sleep?" Harvey asked since he hadn't had the chance to when the doctor was here.

"Good, the painkillers really helped with that" Donna smiled "Seems you are well rested huh" Donna joked to again try and lift the mood

"Well hospital chairs aren't the most comfortable" Harvey said as he stretched a knot out of his neck. He must have slept in a really awkward position because his neck was really aching.

"Can you pass me my bag?" Donna pointed to the overnight bag she packed before she went into the hospital. He passed it and she started rummaging through it. Eventually she found what she was looking for and pulled out a small bottle of aspirins

Harvey seeing what she had pulled out was confused you brought aspirins to a hospital, you know hospitals are full of drugs right?"

"There not for me now are they" She held the bottle out to Harvey to take since she couldn't move to give them to him

"How did you know I would need them?" It was a stupid questions but Harvey had already said it before he realized and the answer she gave was the exact answer he was expecting.

"I'm Donna, I just know things" She smiled as Harvey poured himself a glass of water and took the tablets.

Harvey planned to spend the whole day with Donna but around mid-day Mike appeared in her hospital room while Harvey had gone to get some coffee and something to eat. Donna wasn't really feeling all that hungry and to be honest she was still in a bit of pain, not that she let on.

"Hey Donna, how are you feeling?" Mike looked around the room but Harvey wasn't there. It looked like he had seen a ghost the state he was in. His face was plastered with fear although he was trying to keep up appearances Donna could tell something was not quite right.

"I'm fine, Mike what's going on?" Donna was worried Mike was in a bit of a state right now

"Nothing, it's um… where's Harvey" Mike really needed to talk to him. Something happened and Harvey would kill him if he wasn't the first to be told.

"He's gone to get some food, Mike just tell me what's up" Ordinarily Donna would have thought this was work related but the look on Mike's face told her it wasn't. This was something more personal and something told Donna Mike felt guilty knowing whatever it was before Harvey.

"Okay it's his mother" This was bad. Mike and Donna both know how Harvey feels about his mother. Ever since she cheated on his dad and abandoned his family he has never been able to forgive her. It was a touchy subject, so touchy that Donna had never brought it up before. Even she couldn't approach the subject without him overreacting or becoming angry. It was the one topic that it was best to avoid when it came to Harvey

"What happened?" Donna voice was stern and masked the worry surging through her body

"She's here, in his office and she won't leave" Mike didn't know what to do. She had told her to leave and that Harvey couldn't wasn't going to be in but she just sat there and refused to budge. This was the worst possible time for this how was Harvey meant to cope with Donna fighting cancer whilst also having to deal with his mother who he hadn't spoken to properly for over 2 years.

"What, no this is the worst possible time" Donna knew now why Mike had been so distressed walking into her room "She has to wait until his head it in a better place"

"I don't know what to do Donna" Mike's eyes pleading hers for a solution

"I need to speak to her" Donna knew she would have to explain to this woman how speaking to Harvey now will just makes everything ten times worse

"Donna no you can't leave to speak to her and Harvey will kill us if we keep this from him" Mike had thought of not telling Harvey it wasn't an option. Donna had been here before and Mike was right. One thing Harvey really hates is when people don't tell him things. She thought back to their fight in the bathroom after Donna found Hardman's forged memo.

 _"_ _What the hell were you thinking?" Donna had never done anything like this before and Harvey had no idea what possessed her to do this. He was livid but he cared for her so needed to find out the whole story. Maybe there was more to this._

 _"_ _Harvey I didn't know how to tell you" She felt awful. At the time she thought it was the best thing to do but now she has never regretted anything more. She had her reasons she was trying to protect him and she will do everything in her power to protect him._

 _"_ _Harvey I found the memo was that do god dammed hard?" Still angry Harvey didn't understand why she wouldn't go to him. They could have figured it out together._

 _"_ _You don't understand it had my name on it I stamped it in that implicated you" She had seen Harvey work on enough cases and knew enough about the law to know her actions could be spun to look like Harvey's. She didn't want Harvey to suffer because of something she did._

 _"_ _Did you keep it from me 4 years ago?" Harvey kind of already knew the answer but he was so pissed right now it was in the back of his mind that she might have_

 _"_ _I don't even remember seeing it 4 years ago" How could he even ask her that. If she had seen it 4 years ago she would have told him but he was mad right now and he had every right to be._

 _"_ _Then I don't give a shit what it implicated you don't keep it from me now" Harvey hated secrets. His mother had secrets and that tore apart his family. He couldn't have Donna keeping secrets too. She was his family and he was scared to death of losing it again._

 _"_ _I have never made a mistake like that and I thought I needed to…" Before Donna could even finish her sentence Harvey cut in again. He didn't want to hear it, she purposely didn't tell him and now he was suffering for it._

 _"_ _Look keeping it from me isn't a mistake it's a decision" Missing the memo was a mistake not telling him about it was a punch in the face. How could she not tell him?_

 _"_ _Look I wanted to protect you" That was all she was trying to do and she knows she went about it in the wrong way but she is not going to apologize for it._

 _"_ _Lying to me doesn't protect me it betrays me" He felt betrayed like she had got a knife and shoved it through his heart. The woman he cared for and trusted for a decade had just completely destroyed the trust they had built._

 _"_ _Betrays you? If I had told you the truth you" She know that she is in the wrong but how dare he say she was betraying him when the only reason she did what she did was to try and protect him. She panicked and did something stupid but for the right reasons. Harvey soon cut Donna off again._

 _"_ _You don't keep things from me" People had a habit of keeping things from him but he never imagined that Donna would._

 _"_ _You keep things from me all the time" Donna knew it was different but it was true. Harvey kept things from her and she hated it so why did she keep this from him? She knew the answer but she just didn't realize it yet. She lied because she was ashamed and was scared the man she loved would start looking at her differently because of one mistake._

That was one of the worst fights Donna and Harvey had ever had and she remembered how angry he go because she didn't tell him the truth. He was pissed she kept something from him and Mike was right they couldn't do that now. She would tell Harvey otherwise she would just end up making everything a whole lot worse for him.

"You're right I will tell him as soon as he gets back but I think I need to be there when they talk" Donna knew that if Harvey was left to his own devises he would let his anger get the better of him. She needed to be there to calm him down and prevent him doing something he would later come to regret.

Just at that moment Harvey returned with a bagel and drink in hand. Mike gave Donna a look but she just ignored him and smiled at Harvey. She had no idea how she was going to tell him about this but it had to come from her not Mike and that was something both she and Mike were clear on.

"Mike, what you doing here?" Harvey wasn't expecting a visit from any of the Person Specter Litt family until at least 6:30 when business hours were over. He assumed with him and Donna out they would be too busy.

"I er... Just came to see how Donna was but I'm going to… go now" Harvey noticed that Mike was acting strange but he was afraid it was about Rachel and so if he asked he would have to listen to Mike drone on for an hour. He would just ask Donna what was wrong when he left. She would know she's Donna.

Once Mike had left the room Harvey took a bit of his bagel and then mumbled "What's got him all wound up" He was totally unaware of everything that was happening right now and Donna really did want to tell him. Not right now anyway but she had to.

"Harvey I need to tell you something" Alarm bells went off in Harvey's mind nothing good started with I need to tell you something. That's what clients say when they are feeling guilty because they did something wrong and then lied about it o something people said when they had news that they knew he would hate.

"What?" Donna didn't say anything she was trying to prepare for what she had to tell him "Just tell me Donna" Harvey placed his cup and bagel on the table in the corner and grabbed onto Donna's hand. He thought for sure this had something to do with her and her surgery.

"It's your mom" Donna frowned as she knew this is not what Harvey was expecting she could tell by the way his eyes widened slightly and his nose twitched when she mentioned his mother.

"What about her?" Donna had never mentioned his mom before why was she starting now? He didn't care what she had done he didn't want to be associated with her in anyway.

"She's here. Well in your office. That's what Mike came here for, to tell you" Harvey had a million different questions right now but all he wanted to do was run away from it all. He didn't want to see or speak to her. He was busy trying to keep himself together and support Donna he didn't want to hear whatever apology she wanted to give him.

"Well he should tell her to leave because I have nothing to say to that woman" his jaw tensed up and the muscles on his face became even more defined.

"Harvey she won't leave and maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to speak to her"

"I don't want or need her in my life" Harvey's voice was already laced with anger. Donna would have to tread lightly here otherwise he would just get mad at her too.

"Harvey just listen to whatever she needs to say and then you can never speak to her again if that's what you want" Donna needed Harvey to at least listen to the woman for himself more than anything. What she did affected him more than he likes to admit but in order for him to move on in his life he would have to face her eventually. Maybe now wasn't the best time but why delay the inevitable

"I don't know what to say to her Donna" He looked into her eyes feeling more vulnerable now than he had ever felt before. Talking about his mother with someone was a huge step for him.

"You don't have to say anything Harvey just hear her out" Donna gave Harvey that look which told him that she was right and they both knew it.

Harvey had spent years blaming this woman for everything that happened in his childhood and now he was finally going to have to confront the problem head on. He had imagined this turning out a number of different ways but never did he think it would happen whilst the love of his life was lying in a hospital bed. He thought it would be more planned and prepared. He would know exactly what he was going to say to her and he would initiate everything. It would all be on his terms. Although he was glad that Donna was around to help him through it; to tell him when he was being a dick and to calm him down. Right now he knew he should be supporting her but her support is what was getting him though the day. That is how they came to work, they supported each other. Harvey had always said he needed her but he never realized how much she needed him also. He still didn't realize how much Donna relied on him. She needed him with her through this difficult time in her life and she thanked him by being there for him through this difficult time in his life. They were a team.

Donna called Mike and asked if he could tell Lily to come to the hospital but it went to voicemail so she left a message. Harvey swore he wouldn't leave Donna alone and Donna couldn't leave the hospital yet so she would just have to speak to Harvey there; since she refused to leave. It wasn't the ideal place for such a meeting but it would just have to do. Mike rang Donna back about an hour later saying that Lily was on her way and he told her what room to go to. He also informed them that him and Rachel would come after dinner to see her but Donna knew they just were being nosy. They wanted to find out how the Harvey talking to him mom situation turned out; they were curious.

"So she's on her way" Harvey commented as Donna hung up the phone. He knew it was Mike and he knew why he was ringing

"Yep" Donna pronounced popping the p.

"Okay" Harvey was nervous. He very rarely got nervous. When he was working and cases and going to court he knew exactly what he was doing and he dominated there was no reason for nerves but this was unfamiliar territory. He didn't like emotion and he never had any relationship with his mother since she left. This was all new for him and he was nervous.

"You okay?" Donna saw the fear in his eyes and his whole body had tensed up ever since Donna mentioned his mother.

"Yeh I'm good. I think I just need some water" Harvey went out to the water fountain outside Donna's room and soon returned with a small plastic cup pretty much downing the whole cup in one gulp. Another sign he was nervous about this whole situation

"Harvey come here" Donna carefully moved on her bed to create some room next to her. She then gestured for Harvey to sit next to her; he did as he was told. "It will all turn out the way it's supposed to and it will be fine" She remembered saying those exact words to Rachel once and she was right. Harvey didn't say anything but simply leaned over her and gave her a kiss. He was grateful that she didn't say it would all be fine or everything would works itself out because that was just the bullshit people told themselves in order to feel better. What Donna said was true; it would turn out the way it is supposed to whether that is good or bad it yet to be decided.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9- Long Lost

Their lips were still locked when they were interrupted by an older woman with long grey hair. She had some features that resembled Harvey's. The way he mouth pressed together slightly as she gave them both a small smile and her nose was very similar. One thing Donna noted was that she did not have his eyes. Harvey defiantly got his eyes from Gordon along with his rugged bone structure. Donna therefore concluded that Harvey looked more like his father than his mother, something I'm sure Harvey is grateful for.

"Sorry to interrupt" She said softly as they both turned to look at her. Neither Harvey nor Donna said anything in return forcing her to continue "Harvey" she almost cried as her eyes welled with tears and she focused less on the red head and more on her son. She almost couldn't believe it was him standing there.

"Mom" Harvey returned rather coldly as he got up and stood awkwardly next to Donna's bed. No one knew what to say and so they all stood still not knowing what to do. Harvey's first thought was to run. He wanted to get the hell out of there but that was not an option, even if Lily wasn't blocking the door, he couldn't run away from this. Finally he spoke again "What are you doing here?" he had so many questions for this woman but he wondered why now most of all

"I er... was told I would find you here" She thought the young man at the firm would have warned him that she was coming, she was sure he had said it was Harvey's idea to meet at the hospital.

"I don't mean at the hospital I mean what are you doing here talking to me, why now?" He didn't understand why she needed to see him so urgently all of a sudden.

"I just really needed to see my son" Her eyes were glossy again and Donna could see she was upset but Donna was trying to stay out of the conversation and just let Harvey and his mother speak.

"So after 20 years you decided that you needed to talk" Harvey emphasizing the word you as he had not had any say in the matter which made him a little angry. **She** had decided that **she** needed to see him and expected that he would what? Be happy to see her?

"Look Harvey I'm sorry for what I put you through. It was wrong and I have regretted it every day and will continue to regret it till the day I die. I just really need you to know that"

"Yeh well I regret you did it too" Harvey knew it was mean to say and he could almost see Donna's disappointment that he didn't just accept the woman's apology but how could he. He had been given to time to figure out what to say to her and now she was here he was just saying the first thing that popped into his head. However cruel and spiteful it was.

"Look I didn't come here to fight I came to say that I am sorry and that even if you can't forgive me I have forgiven you" She smile but this made Harvey fuming. Donna could see it about to happen.

He raised his eye brows in disgust "Forgive me. I have done nothing in need of forgiveness. You ruined our family the second you cheated on dad and you are the one who made me lie to my own father about it for years. You asked me to do that" Harvey practically shouted at this petit woman.

"Harvey" Donna said in an attempt to get Harvey to lower the volume. The door had been shut but a few people in the corridor heard the shouting the peered into the room.

"Harvey I know I messed up but you are not a child anymore and you have never reached out to me. The reason I came here was so that we could talk because I am a mother whose child hasn't spoken to her for over 20 years. Do you know what that is like for a woman?"

Donna knew she had and point but was unsure whether Harvey could see it or not. Something about the way he looked down at his feet told her that he did feel guilty but his face was filled with utter rage. The fact that his mother had the audacity to walk back into his life and accuse him for their broken relationship made him furious.

"You know what I can't deal with you right now, in case you can't see I have enough going on right now and I don't have time to put up with you. Maybe next time a heads up would be appreciated or better yet just stay at home" Harvey looked straight into her eyes as she frowned a little. She turned around and started to leave when Donna intervened. She couldn't let Lily walk out of there like this.

"Wait" she tried to sit up a bit more but her whole chest was sore so she winced in pain. Lily continued to leave until Donna spoke again "Please just stop" Harvey held her hand as she was obviously in pain from trying to move.

"I think it would be better to leave" Lily replied and Harvey kind of hated Donna's decision to ask her to stay. He didn't have anything else to say and was counting the seconds until she left and he could forget all about her

"You can't leave things like this. If you go now you two will never get the chance to have any relationship" Donna knew leaving now in the long run would not help Harvey. He wouldn't end up never having a relationship with his mother till it was too late and he would regret that. He might not realize it now but in time he would understand what Donna already knew. He missed his mom more than he let on.

"If she wants to leave you should let her" Harvey was being stubborn as per usual.

"Harvey I don't want to leave but I'm not going to stay if it is just going to make things worse and I feel like now is a bad time and your right I should have called first. It's just I didn't know what to say and I knew if I didn't come now I never would" She wanted to reconnect with her son more than anything but she didn't know where to start.

"It is a bad time but I feel like there is never going to be a good time to do this. I don't want to be angry anymore but I don't know how to stop" Harvey looked at Donna who gave him an encouraging. If she wasn't there he would have never been able to take the steps needed to re-build this relationship but finally he felt like they were getting somewhere.

"Harvey I know you have every right to be angry but what I did was a long time ago and I would love it you became part of the family again" Her eyes were soft and she stood there a mother craving the forgiveness from her son.

"I don't know how to forgive you. I want to but I don't know how" Harvey looked to Donna. When he was lost or confused she always knew what to do. She would give him direction or make him realize what he had to do and that's what he was looking for now.

"Harvey you just start" Donna smiled and then turned her focus back to the older lady. "I think we should have dinner sometime the three of us where we can talk not in a hospital" Donna suggested

"I'd like that" Lily sensed that this woman who she had never met before was the key to Harvey even speaking to her in the first place. There was something about how her son looked at her that said she was special. She also seemed to know exactly what to do and say to get Harvey to open up and be less defensive. She would later learn just how unique Donna was but she was starting to see it already.

"Sounds like a plan" Harvey's way of admitting Donna made the right suggestion without actually saying it. By acknowledging the plan it meant that he was on board although it was not obvious Donna knew Harvey was grateful for the opening that this dinner create. It was a chance for him to get to know his mother again.

Lily then left with the intention of staying in New York for a while so she could reconnect with Harvey. Harvey watched her as she disappeared from view before turning back to Donna. She was amazing, every now and again Donna did something that reminded his just how lucky he was to have her and how much he didn't deserve her.

"Thank you" He leaded over her and started kissing her again; being very careful to not touch her chest area. He didn't want to hurt her but he couldn't resist her lips.

"Harvey it was my pleasure" she smiled and put her arms around his neck to continue their kiss

Not too long after Lily had left Mike and Rachel joined Harvey and Donna at the hospital. They made small talk for a while and talked about a range of different meaningless things before Mike's curiosity got the better of him. He was dying to know what happened between Harvey and his mother despite it being none of his business.

"So" Mike approached the topic carefully since he knew it wasn't really his place "How did things go with your mother she was very insistent on seeing you" Rachel raised her eye brows at Mike knowing that Harvey wouldn't want to talk about it. They had decided not to mention it but Mike couldn't resist.

"It was fine" Harvey said not letting on about anything. Still Mike took that as it went well because Harvey didn't bite his head off for asking

"So did you sort things out?" Mike knew he should have probably quit while he was ahead but Harvey's answer was very cryptic and he just wanted a few more details.

"Mike just drop it" Harvey warned

"Okay it's just…" Mike continued but he was soon cut off

"Mike" Donna smiled at him begging him to stop which made Mike gulp as he regretted pressing the matter. It was such a personal topic that Donna didn't even bring it up. He knew that Harvey wouldn't want to talk about it sometimes he wished he could turn his mind off.

There was silence that spread before Rachel broke it with some completely unrelated gossip "Oh so guess who I saw at lunch today?" Rachel's smile grew as she shared her news.

"Who?" Donna could sense the excitement in Rachel's voice and new it must be someone good

"Corey Cott" he was just reading a newspaper on the other side of the café I was in"

"As in ridiculously talented and hot star of Newsies " Donna was a massive fan of the theater that was well established. Corey Cott was an upcoming star who was set to appear as the lead in Bandstand in the spring.

"The very one" Harvey and Mike just sighed as Donna and Rachel swooned over this guy. Neither of them even knew who he was he couldn't be that amazing

"So, what's the verdict?" Rachel and Donna did this thing when they saw famous celebrities where they judged them and decided whether they were hotter on screen or in real life.

"Hmm hotter defiantly hotter" Rachel laughed.

"Interesting" Donna squinted her eyes and started daydreaming about Corey Cott. Rachel mimicked this by looking into the distance. Mike and Harvey simply rolled their eyes as their better halves pictured themselves with this apparently good looking Broadway actor. Soon Mike and Rachel left and today turned into tomorrow.

Today was a good day (or so they thought), Donna was told she could go home. The nurse gave her the discharge papers around mid-day and Donna was given instructions to rest until her follow up appointment in a week. She was so glad to get out of the four walls of the hospital. She couldn't wait to go home and just relax in the comfort of her own home. Harvey had popped into work a little bit while she was in hospital but the majority of his time was spent with her. He didn't like to leave her alone and she appreciated that but now she was going home it gave him more freedom too.

"Did you remember to put my phone charger in my bag?" Donna called from her bed as Harvey packed her things from the bathroom

"Yes it's in the bag" Harvey replied as he put her toiletries into her bag

"And you put my slippers in there right" Donna started to shout but quietened when Harvey joined her next to the hospital bed

"Yes I have packed everything" He brought over the wheel chair the nurse had given them so that Donna could get up "we can go now"

"Okay" Donna was excited. She really had been getting sick of day time TV and trashy magazines. She carefully lifted herself up so she was sitting on the side of the bed and Harvey helped her into the wheel chair. Harvey then carefully placed Donna's bag on her knee and they made their way home.

They were in the car on their way to Donna's apartment but Harvey all of a sudden had a thought "Why don't we go to my place?" He put his hand on Donna's

"But all my stuff is at my place" It made no sense to go to his when they would have to run back and forth to get her stuff all the time

"Well we can move it so it's at mine"

"Hang on a second" Donna realized what he was actually suggesting "You're asking me to move in with you"

"Yeh, I want you around all the time" This was a big step for Harvey he had never lived with a woman before. He never wanted to until now. He knew if Donna went to her apartment then he would just spend all his time there anyway wouldn't it be easier if they both lived in the same place? Also Harvey didn't want to live somewhere without her anymore. It just felt like the right time

"Harvey you do realize that me moving in involves a lot of your stuff being re-placed and I will have to re-decorate a little" Donna wasn't sure he had really thought all this through. Harvey could be impulsive sometimes.

"I understand that" He pondered it for a while "As long as you leave my records alone" he was not attached to anything in his condo apart from his records. They were special to him but Donna already knew that.

"Okay then" Donna smiled "So when are we moving my stuff because I really don't know how much help I will be"

"I'll take care of it" Harvey was beaming. Things were finally turning around for him. He was a named partner at one of New York's top law firms; despite their recent troubles. He had the woman of his dreams and she agreed to live with him and he had finally gotten somewhere with his mother. What he thought would be the worst time of his life, seeing Donna battle cancer, was actually turning out not to be so bad after all.

When Donna and Harvey got home the first thing he did was get Donna one of his old t-shirts to wear. She had insisted that despite just having surgery she still need to look good when leaving the hospital so took some jeans and a blouse out of her bag; something Harvey imagine not to be comfortable at all. Donna then set herself down on Harvey's couch and turned on the TV. Harvey soon joined her after getting changed himself and they settle in for a night on the couch watching movies. Donna quickly fell asleep whilst leaning on Harvey so he tried to keep still so she would wake up. It was approaching 12:00 when Donna finally woke up.

She went to sleep feeling fine but as she woke up she could tell something was not right. She felt hot and cold shivers run through her body and a thin layer of sweat was forming on her skin. Harvey didn't seem to notice anything was wrong at first until Donna sat herself up a bit turning as pale as a ghost.

"Harvey I don't feel good" Donna was scared. What if something was seriously wrong she had just had major surgery after all anything could be wrong.

"Okay we are going back to the hospital" Harvey sprang into action immediately. He had gotten too comfortable he thought to himself. Everything was turning out good and he knew it was just a matter of time before something bad happened again. Harvey carried Donna down the stairs into a cab where he basically screamed at the driver to go to the hospital. He rushed into the ER Donna still in his arms. Donna was feeling light headed and a little dizzy so didn't fully comprehend what was happening right now. From the moment she woke up until now was just a blur of movement.

The doctor soon examined Donna and saw that her wound was looking a little infected. He turned to Harvey who was watching his every move.

"So the wound is looking a little infected" The doctor began but Harvey interrupted.

"But we left less than 12 hours ago and it was fine" Harvey didn't understand how an infection could occur this quickly.

"Well this is a very fast growing one but we caught it very early. We have given Donna some antibiotics to treat it and she will have to stay in the hospital again tonight but we are confident that this is nothing more"

"So I have to stay in hospital tonight" Donna sat up. She still felt feverish but she wanted to go home more than anything. She was so sick and tired of hospitals.

"I'm afraid so" The doctor must have been used to patients just wanting to go home. After all who really likes hospitals, honestly?

So Harvey and Donna were soon back in a hospital room with Harvey worrying and Donna sleeping. This scene was getting all too familiar for them both. Harvey hadn't even called anyone to let them know what happened. He didn't even notice till her got a call from Mike later that evening as him and Rachel had stopped by. Harvey told them not to worry that the doctors were optimistic but as he said the words he realized he didn't actually believe them. Every time Harvey got comfortable there was always something to knock him back down what if this was it.

Soon the night faded into morning. Donna woke up feeling much better. Harvey had fallen asleep on the uncomfortable hospital chair like he always did. Donna knew if she didn't wake him soon he would have a sore neck so she gently nudged his shoulder to wake him.

"Harvey come on the bed with me" She whispered as he became conscious. He was about to protest that there would not be enough room but his neck was already stiff and Donna had already moved over for him. He got up onto the bed and then pulled Donna in close. They both went back to sleep for a little while but it was light outside so they didn't sleep long. Harvey didn't want to move he was just so comfortable with Donna on the bed and Donna didn't seem like she wanted to move but he didn't want to still be in the bed when the doctor came in.

It was around 11 when the doctor came into Donna's room. He reported that her fever had gone and so the antibiotic were working but the wound still looked a little infected so Donna would have to keep up with the medication. He was resistant to let her leave but Donna couldn't think of anything worse than staying in hospital another day so argued her case.

"Please I'm just so sick of hospitals" She had pleaded

"Miss Paulsen I would really like to stay and monitor that infection just to make sure it does not deteriorate" the doctor had argued

"I will come straight in if I get worse I promise please just let me sleep in my own bed where I will be comfortable" Donna begged. She knew that over the next few months she would be visiting the hospital more than the supermarket she didn't want to stay if it was not absolutely necessary. She knew it wasn't because the doctor was on the verge of saying yes so it was possible; for her to go home.

"Donna maybe we should stay I need you to be okay" Harvey knew better than to argue with Donna, he always lost, but he needed her to be okay and if the doctor wanted her to stay there must have been a reason.

Donna used her best puppy eyes to look at the doctor who looked as though he was having a conflict in his mind. On the one hand he felt sorry for Donna and wanted to let her go home but on the other hand he really wanted to keep an eye on her infection just in case it got worse.

"How about you stay till the end of the day and if the infection is not any worse you can go home and sleep in your own bed" The doctor compromised

"Are you sure that will be okay?" Harvey wanted Donna home too but not if it would compromise her health

"It is very unlikely that the infection will get worse with the antibiotics and usually I would ask patients to stay for observation but I think in this case I feel a night at home would be okay"

Donna smiled but before she could thank him the doctor continued "I want you to promise that if you feel even a little feverish you will come straight back in and you mustn't miss a single tablet otherwise the infection will get worse" The doctor said with a stern voice despite the smile on his face.

"I absolutely promise" Donna smiled triumphantly; she had a way of getting people to bend to her will. She was still Donna after all.

So once again Donna and Harvey left the hospital and returned to their apartment. Donna thought it was strange to call it their home but it also felt like the most natural thing ever. None of her stuff was there yet so it didn't really feel like home but having Harvey around more was going to be something she could get used to.

"So movie?" Harvey opened a cabinet containing his DVD collection that he had built over the years. It had everything from Casablanca to Clueless. Donna sat on the couch and looked over to his movies to try and find a film to watch. Donna was not like Harvey she didn't watch many movies but she had to admit he had a rather good collection (clueless aside).

"Um… I don't mind you choose" She smiled as he picked out the Untouchables. It was so typical of Harvey to choose an old classic like that. Donna recalled many conversations between him and Mike where he had quoted that very movie. To Harvey it reminded him of her at DA's office. He had done an impression of Sean Connery and she as usual mocked him for it.

 _"_ _Mackenzie brothers are here. We need to get these asshole to cave" Cameron reported to Harvey as he rested on Donna's desk_

 _"_ _I had an idea. Night Owl murders" Harvey got up and walked towards his boss_

 _"_ _We're not using an idea you got from L.A. Confidential" Cameron mocked_

 _"_ _How is that different from you shooting a dead guy because Sean Connery did it in the Untouchables" Harvey then put on a Sean Connery impression saying "What are you prepared to do?"_

 _Cameron laughed "Is that supposed to be Sean Connery? Don't even think you can do a better Connery than me" Cameron then put on the same accent to also impersonate Connery "Junior" he turned and walked back into his office leaving a young Harvey in the halls still near Donna's desk._

 _"_ _He's a lying member of a no-good race" Harvey continued with his impression which he knew for a fact was good. He wore his famous Specter smirk as he smiled at Donna._

 _She giggled in response saying "Ease up, James Bond" Harvey liked his movies and Donna knew he did but she couldn't have him thinking he was good at impressions too. He was already too cocky for his own good she had thought._

Harvey liked the banter that they had maintained over the years. Donna kept him from being a completely insufferable arrogant man by always bringing him down a peg when he got too big for his boots. Donna never let him get away with anything if she could help it.

Harvey put the movie in his DVD player and settled in on the couch for the second time to watch the movie. Although Donna was not a massive fan of movies she did appreciate the classics and the passion Harvey had for the good movies was nice to see. Harvey watched the movie and Donna watched him. Harvey knew basically all the dialogue in the movie and at times Donna caught him mouthing certain quotes. Harvey could feel Donna's eyes on him but he didn't look at her instead he just focused on the film. When the credits started to roll Harvey finally took his focus of the TV onto Donna who was still looking at him.

"Do you want to watch another film?" Harvey didn't know whether she was tired or not but she didn't seem too exhausted.

"No" She smiled.

"Okay do you want to watch some TV then?" He didn't know if there was anything good on but they could always have a look.

"No" Donna leaned on Harvey more as he spoke again

"Are you tired do you want to go to bed?"

He wasn't catching on to what Donna was suggesting which made Donna sigh as she repeated "No" and then started to kiss him gently. Donna's chest was still sore and it hurt to lift her arm too much so she was trying not to move too much but as the kiss got more intense it was getting harder for her to stay still. She pulled back and leant back down against the back of the couch

"Are you okay?" Harvey asked as Donna slumped on the couch.

"Yeh just stiff that's all. It hurts a little to move around" Donna wanted to carry on but every time she moved her arms her chest would start to hurt.

"Okay" Harvey re-positioned himself so that he was hovering over Donna a she sat up straight on the couch. This was she didn't have to move and they could carry on. They were just getting into the moment when the phone started to ring. Harvey didn't want to answer it but Donna pushed him off so that he could get it. The truth was Donna was a little relieved at the interruption because the kiss was about to go further and she didn't know if she was ready. She didn't want to disappoint Harvey but she was feeling very sore and not really in the moment.

The phone call was just some sales man who picked the wrong person to call. Being a lawyer Harvey always proceeded to threaten the poor caller with a law suit if they continued to ring him. He sometimes went into lengthy detail on the court procedures just to scare them. Most of it was utter bullshit but they didn't know that. It always resulted in the person on the other end of the line apologizing and quickly hanging up the phone. Donna kind of felt sorry for them but it worked because Harvey rarely got those calls anymore.

"When will they learn that I don't want whatever shit they are selling" Harvey was annoyed that that phone call interrupted his moment with Donna. If it was up to him he would never stop

"Harvey those people are just doing their jobs do they really deserve a law suit?" Donna could see the frustration of Harvey face but decided to ignore it.

"If they are going to waste my time I might as well get some money out of it, my time is expensive what can I say" Harvey joked. There was soon s lingering silence between Harvey and Donna as neither of them knew what to say. Harvey ran his thumb over Donna's cheek and leaned in to continue their kiss. Donna lost herself in the moment for a while before placing her hand of his chest forcing him to stop.

"Wait" she mumbled; not really wanting to stop

"What's wrong" Harvey didn't understand he wasn't hurting her was he?

"I can't" She leaned back "I'm sorry" she was ashamed that she couldn't but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She had just lost part of what makes her a woman and she didn't feel like she was good enough anymore. She also felt sore and stiff and just really un-sexy. She was hot and she had always known that but now she had no hair, no boobs and her whole chest ached whenever she moved. She wasn't hot anymore.

"Donna we don't have to" Harvey saw the fear in her eyes but he couldn't work out what she was afraid of.

"I'm sorry" she repeated with tears in her eyes. It broke Harvey's heart as one tear slipped down her cheek. He had made her cry and he didn't know how to fix it; he wasn't entirely sure what he had done wrong. She was the one who initiated the moment.

"Donna, why are you apologizing?" Harvey was so confused

"Because you want more and I can't and it's pathetic" She felt so stupid

"Donna you are anything but pathetic" Harvey continued to wipe the tears from her face as she was trying to hold back as many tears as she could.

"I know" She sounded to defeated; like she didn't really believe what Harvey was saying. She did feel so stupid because she wanted to do more but something in her mind held her back. She knew she was wrong but there was a thought at the back of her mind that Harvey would not find her attractive anymore and she didn't want to ruin what they had.

"Donna" Harvey brought her back from her thought and she looked into his eyes. She couldn't read him but if she were to guess what he was feeling she would go for sadness with a little bit of disappointment.

"How about an old fashioned college make out session" Donna suggested which made both her and Harvey smile.

Harvey gently caressed the corner of her mouth with his thumb before replacing it with his mouth. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and they just made out for a while. Donna was trying her best not to move too much but her hands were itching to run through his hair. She started to lift her arms but stopped when she felt a pain run across her chest. Harvey, without breaking the kiss, took her hands and gently placed the on his hips so that she wasn't stretching. Donna attempted to unbutton Harvey's shirt so that she could admire his torso but Harvey soon took over. Harvey was now shirtless and without even thinking his and moved to her to remove her top too.

"Can we leave it on" Donna mumbled "please" she added. Harvey didn't even think about the fact she was covered in bandages anyway. It was an automatic response and he was kicking himself for it.

"I'm sorry" he felt like a dick.

"Harvey just kiss me" Donna would have ordinarily pulled him back into the kiss but she didn't have the strength so had to use her words. Soon his bare torso was hovering over her and their lips crashed back together. Since her surgery he had missed being with her outside of a hospital bed. They were together in their apartment on the couch and even though they were just making out he felt completely fulfilled.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10- The Painting

As promised at the hospital Harvey and Donna were getting ready for dinner with Harvey's mother. Donna had booked a new restaurant, she originally suggested that they go to Del Posto's but Harvey said no. That was their place and he didn't want to ruin it with the memory of this dinner in case it didn't go well. Harvey was nervous. He hadn't had a proper sit down dinner with his mom since he was 16. They hadn't even spoken since she barged in at the hospital but he was pleased with the outcome of that talk. He never imagined that they would be able to move forward that quickly after 20years but thanks to Donna they made progress.

Donna was feeling less stiff now and was walking around a lot easier. The doctor had refused to give her the okay to go back to work but other than that she was a lot better. She will be starting radiation next week after all her surgical scars had completely healed. She was still a little stiff under the arms and she still hadn't been able to be intimate with Harvey. She couldn't explain it but she just felt like no one could ever find her attractive now. She used to flaunt her cleavage with V-neck dresses and low cut clothing and now she had nothing to flaunt. Harvey was being very understanding and patient but she knew that he wanted more than she was giving him.

Harvey was tying his tie when Donna walked in. He saw her and immediately stopped what he was doing "What" Donna questions curious to why he had stopped.

"Well your just doing to re-do it anyway so I thought I would skip the middle step" He said turning to face her with the tie hanging around his neck. Donna rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through the tie as she re-positioned it to tie. She did a flawless Windsor knot that hung in a perfectly straight line down the center of his shirt. Please with her work she tapped him lightly on the torso and he turned to look in the mirror.

"So" she said causing Harvey to turn back around to face her "Which dress black or wine coloured?" She held up two high necked dresses. Since her operation she had refrained from wearing anything low. She had gotten a pair of bra inserts so that it looked like she had boobs but she wasn't keen on them. She just wanted her old body back; the one she was so proud of.

"Hmm" Harvey liked both of them but he had always liked her in colors "the red one" his very male like interoperation of the wine color making Donna smile.

"Okay then" She lay the dress down on the bed and proceeded to hang the other one in the wardrobe "Harvey do you mind?" she said pointing to the dress she was about to put on. She didn't want anyone to see her, including Harvey. She could barely look at herself in the mirror at the moment. The look of herself with no clothes made her cringe.

"Oh sure" Harvey frowned a little before grabbing his jacket and leaving the room. He didn't know whether Donna just wasn't comfortable with herself anymore or whether she thought that he wouldn't find her attractive anymore but either option made his heart break. She was still Donna and nothing on the world seemed as perfect as her.

Soon they were both ready to go and were sat in Ray's car once again. Harvey's knee was shaking a little on the floor which was one of the more obvious signs he was nervous. Donna placed her hand on his leg to stop it from shaking. He looked over to her and smiled as a thank you. Her touch calmed him a little and before he knew it they were sat at a table for three in the corner of a busy restaurant. There were a lot of couples here much like most restaurants but the decor in this one was a little different. It had a Greek theme to it. The frames of the doors and a few pictures were painted blue and there were green plants dotted around the sides of the room. The walls were a collection of different shape and sized stones and there were only a few small lights embedded into the room. These lights along with candles on the tables made for a fairly dull lit restaurant with a slight amber glow. It was not the typical sort of restaurant they would usually go to but he imagined that is why Donna had picked it. That way if it didn't go well they would not mind not going again.

They were sat there for a while and there was still no sign of Lily. Harvey didn't know whether she had ditched their plans or whether lateness was just a part of her character. He didn't really know the woman after all. Donna had ordered some drinks a while ago. She had gotten herself a small glass of red wine since she was advised by the doctors not to drink too much and Harvey had his usual scotch. As it approached 8:30 and Lily was now around 30 minutes late Harvey got less optimistic she would show up. Both he and Donna had been watching the door for the last quarter of an hour and she never appeared.

"This is stupid, she's not coming" Harvey downed his scotch and stood up from the table.

"Harvey she might just be late we should wait a little longer" Donna grabbed onto his hand to stop him from leaving. She still had some hope that she would turn up. She didn't know the woman either but she had good instincts and something told her that the woman she saw at the hospital who wanted to make amends with her son wouldn't stand him up at dinner.

"Donna it's been half an hour. She's not coming" Harvey didn't hold much hope when it came to this sort of thing. It seemed all too plausible that she had just decided that he wasn't worth knowing. She had left him once before and if you can do it once you can do it again.

"Okay" Donna had to admit that it was late and she hadn't called or anything to let them know she was running late. If she were going to turn up late she would have called right?

Donna and Harvey both got up and grabbed their jackets and headed towards the doors on the other side of the restaurant. Harvey didn't even know why he wasted his time trying to reconnect with his mother. She just let him down it's what she did and maybe it was all just more hassle than it was worth. Just as they were about to get into a cab Lily rushed onto the sidewalk.

"Wait" she called after them and bot Donna and Harvey stopped getting into the cab. They turned to see a very flushed looking woman "Please don't leave" she continued.

"You're late" Harvey stated rather harshly.

"I'm so sorry I can explain" Lily was out of breath; she had obviously rushed there and so was still trying to catch her breath. Her flushed complexion was another sign of her lateness.

"Well we were just leaving" Harvey explained. He was still so angry with her and he was reflecting that onto her right now. He wasn't mad about her being late he was mad about the fact that she left him when he was a child and he thought that she had done the same thing again. He was mad that she didn't have the common courtesy to let him know that she was going to be late.

"Harvey please don't go I am really sorry that I am so late" Lily was being rather vague about what held her up; she obviously didn't want to tell him whatever it was which just made Harvey more curious.

"So come on then, what is the excuse" Harvey knew that he wasn't going to like it he could tell. Donna grabbed onto his hand at this point. She too knew that whatever it was Lily really didn't want to tell Harvey by the way she sighed as he asked the question.

"It doesn't matter, how about we just go inside" Lily suggested.

"No I want to know what made you so late and unable to call and let us know" Harvey was just being stubborn now. It didn't matter but he wanted to know.

Lily sighed again before answering "Bobby came over unexpectedly and he needed my help with something. I would have called but we just lost track of time" Harvey scoffed at the sound of that bastard's name. He hated Bobby and when he found out him and his mother were still together at his dad's funeral he was livid.

"Right" Harvey should have known it had something to do with Bobby the second she had avoided the topic of why she was late "Well as I said we were just leaving" Harvey turned to Donna who gave him one of her looks. She wasn't going to let Harvey leave every time Lily did or said the slightest thing that he didn't like.

"Harvey, go inside" Donna ordered tapping the bonnet of the taxi so the driver would know to leave. Harvey did what he was told with little enthusiasm and walked back into the restaurant where the waiter once again showed them to a table.

They all sat in silence and Donna couldn't help but roll her eyes at Harvey's stand offish behavior. Boy he could sulk when he wanted to she thought to herself "So Lily" Donna broke the silence unable to take it anymore. Whoever said silence is golden obviously hadn't sat at a table with Harvey and his long lost mother. "How is the painting going?"

"It's going well; actually I just held my annual children's art exhibition at the Children's Museum of the Arts. It was a really good year this year" Lily smiled and Donna mirrored the expression. Harvey however was still straight faced and not engaging in the conversation.

"Harvey had one of your paintings in his office for years" Donna knew Harvey wouldn't like his mother knowing this but right now she didn't care. If it got Harvey to actually speak it was worth it.

"Really, I didn't know that" Lily knew what painting it was as Harvey had only taken one of her painting and Gordon had returned the others too her soon after she left. She had assumed that he burned it or something.

"Well I don't have it anymore" Harvey had used the painting to remind himself that he and his mother were once close. When she painted this he had been young and he had thought her to be the most amazing artist in the world. He had admired her and they had fun together. Since Stemple took it he lost the only thing that reminded him that his mother was not all bad.

"Oh right" Lily didn't exactly know how to respond to that. Obviously he hadn't wanted it there anymore so something must have caused him to take it down.

"Another lawyer took it" Harvey expanded. As much as he was angry he was thinking about that painting and remembered the good days before he had found out about his mother's cheating behavior.

"How come?" It was odd that someone else would even want that painting. It was not particularly good if she remembered correctly but it was one of her favorite painting because of the story behind it. She had liked it so much that when she found out Harvey had it she had done another one to create a kind of series. She believed that it connected them a little even if Harvey didn't know it.

"He wanted to punish me and so he took it" Harvey looked down at his food swirling it around his fork. He missed it, now there was just an empty space on the wall. He couldn't bring himself to replace it so he had just left it. Donna saw Harvey's pain and placed her hand on his leg. Harvey looked up at her and smiled appreciative of the contact right now. Lily could see that this was obviously a sore subject so just dropped it.

The rest of the meal was good. Harvey had a delicious Moussaka dish for his main that he offered a taste to Donna. He later realized that was a mistake when Donna ended up eating half of his meal instead of her own. Lily noticed the closeness between the couple sat with her and it made her smile. She had never been that close with Gordon and the fact Harvey had found someone made he happy.

When desserts came out Lily decided to broach the topic of their relationship "So how long have you been together then?" It seemed like they had been together their entire lives the way they were around each other.

"A few months" Donna replied "but we have worked together for just under 13 years now" Donna clarified as she saw the shock on Lily's face when she said a few months.

"Well you seem to really know each other" Lily was mainly talking to Donna who knew exactly what to do and say to Harvey. The way she handled him just proved how well she knew him and in turn how much she cared for him. Harvey was the same. Although Donna was the one helping Harvey now he had helped her with her cancer since he found out she had it. He was her rock.

"Yeh we do" Harvey added

"That's good" Lily had wanted to approach the topic of Donna's illness for a while but couldn't think of a good way to approach it. It was none of her business and she knew that but that it would be a big part of Harvey's life and she was curious what exactly Donna was suffering from. Obviously it was cancer and she assumed it was breast cancer but she wasn't 100% sure. "So how have you been doing Donna?"

Donna knew her illness had been on Lily's mind for a while and the woman was very careful about the way she asked about it. "I'm good thanks, I just had surgery that went well and will be starting radiation soon" Donna had become very open about what she was going through. Other people seemed to dodge around it and try and avoid talking about it but she didn't really mind it anymore. It was just a tough part of her life and she was dealing with it an no matter how hard it got she would get through it. Harvey had given her that confidence.

"It's breast cancer right?" Lily hadn't actually been told so she was just confirming.

"Yeh stage 3" Harvey answered instead of Donna this time. The table then plummeted into silence again as no one who how to continue the conversation. They had all finished eating and the waiter came over with the bill which Harvey paid. His mother did offer but he insisted. Something told Harvey had he was making a lot more money than Lily was.

"So I want to show you something if that's okay" Lily said as they walked out of the restaurant.

"Sure" Donna said as he pulled on Harvey's arm forcing into a cab on the sidewalk. It would be too much of a squeeze to all get in the back so Harvey and Donna went in the back together and Lily went in the front so that she could tell the driver where to go.

The cab arrived in a small, quiet street with only a few rough looking houses. Harvey never came to this end of town because there was nothing much there and it was not very nice. The houses were old and the streets were dark but he recognized one building in particular as he got out.

"Your studio?" Harvey said with a hint of surprise. He hadn't been there since he was a kid. His mother rarely used this studio because it was in New York and they lived in Boston but she had kept it because sometimes she would go there for a change.

"Yeh I want you to see something" Lily walked towards the building and entered to code to open the door. Harvey wondered whether she ever changed the pin or whether it was still 012272 (his birthday). Turns out she never did change it.

They walked in and Lily fumbled for the light switch and soon a larger than Harvey remembered collection was lit up. Donna looked around and spotted on painting that she particularly liked. It was a young boy (she assumed to be Harvey) playing baseball with the ball heading out of the canvas. She hadn't known Harvey during his baseball days and it was nice to get an insight to it.

"I'll be right back" Lily walked to another room where some of er older painting were stored.

"These are all amazing" Donna had heard Harvey talk about his mother and how she liked to paint but apart from the painting in his office she hadn't really seen anything else

"Yeh they are" Harvey agreed. Even he hadn't seen half of these painting.

Soon Lily reappeared with a canvas in her arms "Here" She said placing the canvas in front of Harvey for him to take.

He turned it over so that he could see the painting and immediately shock spread over his face. It was like the painting he had on his wall except it showed the whole scene. Harvey was at the front of the canvas looking at the his mother who was painting in the background. She was painting the canvas that he had on his walls for all those years. He had always loved the painting for its sentimental value.

"I want you to have it" Lily saw the shock and the happiness spread over Harvey's face as his eyes were fixed on the canvas. Donna seeing his reaction felt a wave of emotion pass through her. He never opened up about that painting to anyone and it was a big step for him to tell the woman who created it about what happened.

"It's perfect" Donna commented looking over Harvey's shoulder at the painting "Now there will no longer be a gap on the wall"

"Thank you" Harvey looked up to his mother who was just enjoying the scene that she had somehow managed to create.

"Harvey it's the least I can do" Harvey handed the canvas to Donna and went and did something unprecedented for him. He wrapped his arms around his mother and hugged her. He'd missed his mother as much as he denied it and somehow she was there and he was beginning to let go of some of the resentment that had built up over the years.

Donna and Harvey planned to go straight back to their apartment when they left his mother's studio but instead Harvey decided to make a little pit stop. He positioned the painting it its rightful space and then took a step back to admire his new piece of artwork. Donna, like usual, straightened the painting after Harvey had already hung it and then turned back to look at him. His face said it all. A soft smile was building and when she walked over to him so that their shoulders were just touching. They both admired the complete wall again for a while. That had gone better than Harvey had ever thought possible and it reminded him once again just how lucky he was to have Donna because none of this would have happened without her.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11- Future Struggles

Today was the day Donna started her radiation treatment. It had been 4 weeks since Donna's surgery and all was well. For the first time Donna felt like that she was actually going to get through this without it completely destroying her along the way. So far Harvey had been so supportive with everything and it just made her love him even more if that was possible. Since the surgery Donna had not been able to be intimate with Harvey, she felt self-conscious all the time. Her once beautiful figure had been destroyed and for the first time in her life she was unhappy with her appearance but as soon as Donna's completed radiation she could get reconstructive surgery and get back to normal. She figured then her and Harvey could get back to life and put it all behind them. Now for the next 6 weeks Donna would have to go to the hospital 5 days a week to receive her treatment. It was ruthless but once it was over she would be approaching the end of her struggle.

"So the treatment takes 30 minutes so if you go sit in the coffee shop I should be too long" Donna smiled at Harvey as they entered the hospital for what seemed the one millionth time recently.

"Okay but I'll come with you for the moment" Harvey held onto her hand. Although he was getting used to all these treatments he still liked to be there for her. It comforted him just as much it did her.

"Well if you must" Donna teased pulling on Harvey's hand as she picked up the pace towards the familiar reception desk.

As Donna entered the radiation room the doctors remained in a separate room so they were not exposed to the radiation as well. Harvey had been told he had to wait outside which Donna knew would happen anyway and so she was alone. She had seen this as no big deal up until this point. Actually standing next to the big machine with only one person in the room wearing a vest, it all became very real. She was helped onto the table and told to be very still before the room was cleared. With the machine looming over her and the lights being dimmed ever so slightly she began to panic a little.

"Okay Donna we are going to switch the machine on now" The doctor spoke through the intercom

"Wait" Donna muttered doing her best to stay still.

"It's okay I promise it will not hurt you will barely feel a thing" The doctor tried to assure her

"I know just give me a minute" Donna was trying desperately to pull herself together. She was being ridiculous again; she had nothing to be scared of. She had read all the leaflets and read all the websites and all of them said the same thing. Don't worry radiation is pain free and the majority of side effects are temporary but she had a feeling something bad was going to happen. She took a few deep breaths and finally managed to calm herself down. She was thinking of Harvey. She had to do this for him. "Okay I'm ready" she muttered

"Okay here we go then" The doctor turned on the machine and a few lasers were directed onto Donna's chest. The whole time Donna stared at the ceiling thinking out Harvey and their future together. She imagined them being the power couple of New York with two perfect little children. They would have her feisty personality and red hair and Harvey's signature smirk and confident demeanour. She imagined people would envy what they had and she would be humble about it despite underneath feeling like the smuggest person in the world. Donna didn't quite know when she started to imagine that life for herself but now it was all she could think about. She didn't even know if it would be possible for her to have kids. She hadn't really mentioned it to the doctors because she hadn't really thought about it until now. She had had had some of her eggs harvested before treatment as a precaution but she had always imagined carrying her own child and now that might just not be an option for her. Before she knew it the session was over and her head was actually started to spin with all the thoughts racing through her brain.

The doctor helped her off the table and set up another appointment for the next day. Donna was beginning to think that the worst part of the radiation might be the silence that allowed her brain to overthink, worry and stress. She didn't really think about the consequences of having cancer treatments until she was left alone with her thoughts. However she didn't have time to think about that now, she shook off all the thoughts to go find Harvey and then go back to the firm. The doctors had said radiation shouldn't affect her day to day life too much and that as long as Donna felt fine then she should go on with her normal life.

"Hey" She tapped Harvey lightly on the shoulder since she approached him from behind so he didn't see her coming. It gave her an opportunity to put up a façade. The realization of what her illness meant for the future was sudden and she didn't want Harvey to worry about her; after all these thoughts were so out of the blue.

"Hey" He turned to look her in the eyes "How did it go?" he said standing up and giving her a quick peck on the cheek

"It was fine" Donna lied "Can we go to the firm now I have missed work so much" Donna smiled trying not to let on that anything was wrong.

Harvey's look became quizzical; he couldn't read what she was thinking which worried him a little, but he brushed it off since Donna really seemed to want to leave "Sure" he said taking her hand and heading to the car park where Ray was waiting for them.

Going to the firm was just the distraction Donna had needed. A few people approached saying things like 'it's good to see you' and 'you look well' but she mostly just sat at her desk and worked away. Harvey's calendar was a complete and utter disaster, how did he ever survive without her? Harvey could see something was bothering Donna as she always chewed pens when she was distressed and surely enough there were 5 chewed pens sitting on her desk. He kept a close eye on her but didn't say anything because truthfully he wanted her to go to him and he had so much work to catch up on. When 6:00pm rolled around Harvey decided to call it a day and walked over to Donna's cubicle. She was still typing away on her computer

"You ready to go?" Harvey announced himself as she obviously hadn't registered that he was there

"What… oh yeh" Donna looked confused "What time is it?" she was sure they hadn't even been working that long but sure enough when she looked at the time on her computer it read 6:02pm

"It just past six" Donna was never this absent the last time she was like this was when she told him about her cancer.

"Oh okay" Donna shut down her computer and grabbed her bag "let's go" she smiled again pretending that she was fine, she knew she was doing a bad job at it though.

"Are you okay Donna?" Harvey decided to be more proactive since Donna was obviously not going to talk on her own.

"Yeh I'm good" she dismissed walking to Harvey's side and hooking her hand round his arm.

The car journey home was odd. Normally Harvey and Donna would chat away and laugh about whatever annoying thing Louis had done or Mike latest drama but tonight they sat there in silence. Donna spent the whole time staring out of the window and if it were not for Ray in the front Harvey probably would have questioned her on it. Something happened at the hospital and Harvey was sick of being kept in the dark. As soon as they entered their apartment and sat down on the couch Harvey couldn't ignore it anymore

"Donna what's going on?" Harvey was good at reading people and over the years he had got to know everyone of Donna's tells.

"What nothing, what do you mean" Donna played dumb hoping Harvey would drop it.

"Come on you have been acting strange since the hospital something is bothering you" He just didn't get why Donna was not opening up to him

"Harvey I don't know what you're talking about" she continued her act, ever the actress

"Oh come on Donna something is bothering you" he was not blind and he resented Donna's caginess "Did something happen at the hospital?"

Donna sighed, there was no way Harvey was dropping this "No… yes… no" Technically nothing actually happened she just had a realisation that scared her with kind sounds pathetic

"Donna whatever it is you can tell me" Harvey placed his hand on her cheek and let it slide down her shoulder onto her arm

"It's just I realised something that I just hadn't really thought about" Donna was being ambiguous on purpose. She didn't want to scare Harvey by bringing up their future fictional kids that probably would never exist anyway. Harvey just looked at her willing her to continue which gave Donna no option to expand "It's just being in that machine all by myself gave me time to think and I realised I hadn't thought about life after my treatment has finished. I have been so worried about all the treatment and surgeries that I was having that I forgot to think about my life in the future"

"And…" Harvey decided it was probably just best for him to listen at this point. Regardless he didn't really have anything to say just yet

"My mind started wondering to our lives together after all the treatments have finished and at first it made me happy"

"Yeh" Harvey smiled. He liked that Donna was picturing a life for them to have together

Donna did not replicate Harvey's smile, instead she frowned a little and continued "Promise me not to freak out" She turned to him. She couldn't possibly tell him what she was about to say if there was even the tiniest chance he would freak out and leave her. She relied on him too much at the moment.

"I promise. Donna whatever it is just tell me"

Donna took another deep breath "My mind started wondering to what I wanted my life to look like. I imagined you and me together being the greatest power couple New York has ever seen" Donna smiled along with Harvey as they both pictured their life together "I then imagined two adorable kids who were witty redheads like me but with your confidence and determination. We would be the perfect little family which of course would make everyone else jealous and hate us but we wouldn't care because life together with kids just made us too happy to care"

Harvey very much liked the future Donna ha imagined for them. He didn't think that he would be a good Father but Donna has always made him better and with her by his side he knew he could do it. And he really wanted to do it too. "Sounds perfect" he commented but Donna's smile turned into a frown.

"But what if that life is just not possible for us and it is just an unrealistic fantasy in my head" Donna was breaking Harvey's heart and she knew it. She knew that telling him all of this would just bring him down too but it had been bothering her all day. "Lots of women can't have children after chemotherapy and I'm 100% sure the odds of fertility for a women of 40 are not great. What if I left it too late" A tear slipped down Donna's cheek. She had always wanted kids but first it was I need to get a decent job and career first and then it was I need to get a man who I love to do this with and maybe she had just spent too long waiting that she lost her chance

"Donna, whatever happens, happens but I promise you if that's the life you really want I will find a way to give it to you" Harvey knew that options like adoption and even surrogacy (if Donna was able to still produce eggs) were still available

"I know that's there are other ways to this, it's just I imagined getting pregnant and carrying my child. I always wanted to have the whole experience and it dawned on me I might never get the chance" Donna couldn't fight back the tears anymore and leaned into Harvey in search of comfort. This was the first time she was saying it all out loud and it was just a hard thing to accept.

Donna cried onto Harvey's suits dampening the shoulder with her tears but he didn't care. It broke his heart to see Donna like this. He felt guilty because he had made her wait 12 years to finally be with him. If he had had the balls to acknowledge his feelings right from the start she could already have the life she was imagining and she wouldn't have to worry about having kids because they would already have them. Seeing Donna like this made his heart literally ache in his body. It was the hardest thing to see Donna this upset.

"Donna please don't cry" Harvey's eyes were welling up at the sight "It will be okay" he whispered but Donna just kept crying into Harvey's chest.

They both sat on the couch for a while, Donna leaning on Harvey and Harvey rubbing his hands up and down her arms. Eventually Donna stopped crying and pulled out of Harvey's arms.

"I'm sorry" She realised he had kind of sprung this emotional breakdown on Harvey out of nowhere.

"You don't need to apologise" Harvey eyes were still watery despite no letting a single tear escape

"I know" Donna whispered looking down trying to remain in control of her emotions

"Donna can I ask you something?" Harvey liked the little picture that Donna had painted of their life together and was just wondering if it was something she was thinking about of whether it was more of a spur of the moment thing.

"Sure" She replied much more timidly than she would have liked.

"Did you really picture having kids with me" Harvey didn't see himself as a father figure what was Donna seeing that he was missing?

"Yeh why?" Who else would she picturing having kids with.

"It's just I always thought that I wasn't good enough to raise kids. A Father is meant to be there for his children and give them words of wisdom and I spend all my time working. I just never thought that someone would ever think me worthy of having kids let alone you" Harvey very rarely opened up about his feeling but Donna was so glad every time he did. To get an insight into the brain of Harvey Specter was something rare and it made her feel closer to him every time he did.

"Harvey I have never doubted that you would make a good Dad. Yes you work a lot but it is important for children growing up to know how important it is to work hard in order to be successful. Besides look how much you have been there for me throughout everything I know you would do the same for your children"

"How do you do that?" Harvey looked at Donna in awe.

"What?" She know she was supposed to know everything but she had no idea what Harvey was talking about right now she was not a mind reader

"Always see the best in people?"

"Harvey I don't know how you can't see just how amazing you can be?" In the court room Harvey knew he was the best and most clever person in the room but he had a history of being the complete opposite way when it came to his personal life.

"Oh I know" Harvey joked to lighten the mood. He and Donna had just had a very emotional conversation someone had to lighten the mood before they ended up in a spiral of sadness

"Oh come on, don't go getting a big head now, otherwise I will take it back" Donna smiled appreciating the change in mood.

They soon went to bed in each other's arms waking up to a brand new day. Harvey felt relieved that Donna had shared what was on her mind and Donna felt 100x lighter sharing it with Harvey. For two people who were generally very private people they were both seeing the benefits of sharing yourself with another person. Donna was dreading her next radiation session but now it didn't seem so bad, she could picture her and Harvey's life without feeling sad because she knew that whatever happened Harvey would always give her what she needed and that was enough. Although the thought of not being able to have kids make her sick to her stomach she knew that if the worst were to happen at least she would never be alone.

"Morning" Donna smiled as Harvey stirred opening his eyes to a brand new day

"Good Morning" He replied pulling her into a kiss. Harvey had not been with Donna since her surgery and he was happy to wait for her to be ready but he couldn't help but want her anyway. Every time he kissed her he was reminded of just how amazing she was and he couldn't help but feel a desire build up inside of him.

"I would say so" Donna laughed feeling his desire against her thigh that was intertwined in his legs. She felt bad that she still didn't feel comfortable being intimate yet but she knew Harvey understood and that was just another reason she was so lucky to have him "Come on get up we have to be at the hospital soon" Donna changed the subject and rolled out of the bed, immediately missing the warmth.

Soon they were there again in the hospital as they were both getting sick of seeing the clinical grey walls and pungent smell of hand sanitizer.

"Okay I'm going to be in the coffee shop again for when you come out" Harvey gestured towards the hospital café

"You know Harvey you don't have to come with me every day I can just meet you at the firm"

"No I want to go to and from work together" To be truthful he just didn't like Donna going on her own just in case something went wrong which was paranoid but he couldn't help it

"Well in that case I wouldn't mind a triple caramel whip, half-sweet, skimmed, vanilla cappuccino. Since you don't have anything else to do and all" Donna chuckled as she walked down the corridor towards the cancer ward of the hospital.

This session went a lot better in Donna's opinion. Despite it having the exact same effect medically she felt far less emotionally drained. Her mind still wondered off as she lay on the table perfectly still but this time she thought about just Harvey. About how good it felt to wake up next to him in the morning. How he was able to be the most frustrating person she had ever met as well as the most amazing. Never in a million years could she imagine a Harvey that was as patient and supportive as the man she was with today.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys, i'm so sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I have been super busy and I got a bad case of writers block for a while. I just couldn't decide where to take the story but i have planned it all out. I don't think I will have much time in the next couple of months to write but I will promise to finish this story at some point. Please enjoy this chapter and don't forget to favorite follow and review. I really like reading all your amazing reviews and it really keeps me inspired which I really appreciate.**

Chapter 12- Fighting for air

Donna was about halfway through her radiation therapy and amazingly she had been very lucky when I came to the side effects of the treatment. Her chest was a little painful but it was manageable and apart from a little redness she had no other skin reactions which she was told was very rare. It seemed that she was finally having some luck. The regular hospital visits just became a part of her and Harvey's daily routine. They would go to the hospital together in the morning. Harvey would wait in the cafe with a coffee and then together they would go to the firm and go about their daily business. Donna was beginning to feel normal again and she was starting to go back to her old witty self.

She was happy. Everyone could see it. She was nearly done fighting for her life, she was with the man of her dreams and she was content with her life. There was a time where she wanted to be an actress and she still thought about it on occasion but somehow working as Harvey's secretary was enough for her. Yes she often thought that she could do more but she couldn't imagine working besides anyone else except Harvey. In her short tenure with Louis she realized just how fortunate she was.

"Donna" Harvey called out over the intercom breaking Donna from her thoughts. She looked up seeing Harvey sat in his office with a small but noticeable smile gracing his lips.

Donna stood and made her way towards Harvey's office "Yes Harvey, what can I do for you?" she spoke as she leant on the doorway.

"I thought that we could go out tonight, have some fun maybe?" Harvey just made all that up on the spot. He had really only called her in his office so that he could see her but it was a good idea if he say so himself. They hadn't done much together as a couple since the whole cancer thing got in the way.

"Sounds good, what were you thinking?" Donna walked towards Harvey's desk and perched herself on the windowsill behind him so they could talk properly

"I have an idea" Harvey stood so that he could be closer to her "We'll go straight from work after I get back from my 4:30 meeting "

"Sounds intriguing" She smiled as he placed a kiss on the top of her head "Wait…"

"What?" Harvey looked confused, they didn't have anything planned he didn't know about did they?

"Will I need to change?" Since she had no idea where they were going she had to know if what she was wearing would be appropriate

Harvey looked at her up and down "Nope, you good" He smiled. He was just using Donna's questions to give him a reason to look her up and down

"Hey, you just used that to check me out didn't you?" Donna knew what Harvey was thinking all too well and the mischievous look in his made it pretty obvious. Normally Donna would have liked this moment but she still feels a little self-conscious so it ended up making her feel a little awkward.

Harvey could spot Donna's fake smile from a mile off and mentally scolded himself for making her feel uncomfortable. "I can't help it, your beautiful" He stated in an attempt to reassure her and it seemed to work as Donna pressed her lips into his for a quick kiss before moving out of the office with a small but genuine smile. She sat down at her cubicle and looked back at Harvey as their eyes locked for a moment. They then both got back to work.

Throughout the day Donna noticed herself struggling to breathe a little. It was noting major she just could feel herself breathing a little heavier. She put it down to the treatment just making her tired and down to the excitement of Harvey taking her out tonight. It was nothing or that's what she told herself anyway.

Harvey spent his whole meeting thinking about Donna. He was just focusing on getting out of there as soon as possible so he could go and pick her up. He had planned their whole evening in just a few hours and he even impressed himself by what he managed to pull off. His meeting lasted about an hour which was way too long in his opinion but he did get back to the firm about 5:30 which worked well for his plan.

"You ready?" Harvey leaned on Donna's cubicle as she shut down her computer and grabbed her bag

"You bet" She smiled. She had been looking forward to this all day. It was like their first proper date. Their relationship hadn't had the most normal of starts and Harvey had yet to surprise her with a romantic date. "So where are we going?" Donna was dying to know what he had planned

"You will just have to wait and find out" Harvey turned back as they made their way down the halls to grab her hand and basically pulled her into the life. It would seem he was more excited about this date than she was.

"Ray can you take us to our place first please" Harvey requested. He then turned to face Donna "I was thinking about what you said about changing so I got you a new dress and shoes to perfectly match the evening I planned"

"There is no way you had time between this morning and now to go and get me a new dress and a pair of shoes" Donna mocked but she loved the sentiment.

"Well I may have had help from a certain brunette who happens to know exactly what you like" Harvey winked

"Remind me to thank her later" Donna smiled

When they arrived at the apartment Donna quickly got changed into the outfit Rachel had picked out which by the way was absolutely gorgeous. It was a dark green color which perfectly clung to Donna's figure. It was modest since Rachel knew Donna was still a little self-conscious but the slit along the leg meant it was still sexy enough for a romantic date type event. It was paired with some shoes in the same colour that added an extra 5 inches to Donna's height. Harvey changed his suit to one he knew for a fact Donna loved because she had commented on it before and removed his tie so he could undo his top few buttons. This made for a much more date like look rather than his normal immaculate business attire. They were soon ready to go and found themselves in the back of Ray's car once again.

This time instead of telling Ray where to go Harvey simply handed him a piece of paper with an address on it so that Donna was still in the dark to where they were going. They pulled up on a street that Donna didn't recognise and went into a building that she had never heard of. They went straight up to the very top of the high rise building and exited the elevator onto the roof top.

Donna was shocked. There must have been hundreds of candles surrounding them with a single table in the middle of the roof top. The building had the most amazing view of New York. It was a city scape that challenged the view from the 5th floor of the Person Specter Litt building. On the table was a single red rose and placed on the chairs were blankets in case it got to cold. It seemed that Harvey had really outdone himself with this one

"Oh my God" Donna whispered so it was barely audible "How the hell did you pull this off?"

"I have my ways" Harvey smiled as he took in her reaction and pulled out one of the chairs for Donna to sit.

Moments later they were greeted by a young waiter who brought up some food for them to eat. Donna was sure this was the romantic thing that Harvey had ever done and it was not going to be a common occurrence so she took it all in. From the divine food (which she was sure that Rachel had also helped Harvey with) to the candles and flowers which Donna was almost certain he had planned himself by looking at the smug smile on his face. He had done good and he knew it.

They laughed and talked and everything that was happening at the moment in their lives just faded away. This night was about them and nothing else matters. Harvey was completely in awe of the woman in from of him and both of them couldn't wipe the smiles off their faces.

"Harvey you didn't have to do all this you know" Donna smiled as she places her knife and fork down on her now empty plate

"I know but I wanted too" he said mimicking her movement and also placing his cutlery down

"How did you plan this all in one afternoon?" Donna genuinely had no idea how he had pulled it off

"How do you know I haven't been planning this for weeks?"

"Please you can't keep a secret like this from me for a minute never mind weeks" Donna challenged him

"Let's just say I have far less favors in the bank after today"

As desert was severed the waiter initially came out with two chocolate fudge brownies that were oozing with rich chocolate sauces and topped off with a raspberry to cut through all that chocolate. Donna had always loved chocolate something Harvey first discovered when she shared her love of Chunky Monkey ice cream. Just as Donna thought Harvey couldn't have possibly done anything more the waiter showed up once more carrying on his tray nothing but a can of whipped cream.

It made her chuckle "Is that for desert or for later?" Donna teased as Harvey wore his famous mischievous smirk

"It's up to you" Harvey smiled. He and Donna still hadn't been intimate together since her mastectomy but the fact she made the suggestion made him think that maybe she was opening up to the idea. He wasn't going to push her though, he would never do that. He told himself that whenever she was ready he would be there and not a moment too soon.

Donna gulped at the idea but somehow she wasn't as scared anymore. She wasn't scared of Harvey seeing her differently or thinking she wasn't as beautiful anymore. He had just proved to her that he would pretty much do anything for her. Maybe she could finally give in to her desires, maybe she was strong enough. She reached for the can and popped of the lid. She then carefully squirted some of the cream onto her finger and seductively licked it off. "I think there is more than enough for both activities" She laughed seeing Harvey squirm in his seat slightly.

Soon their plates were cleared and soft jazz music filled their ears "Gordon?" Donna questioned already knowing the answer

"Who else?" Harvey stood up and took her hand so that they could dance together. Harvey had rested his head on Donna's while she was pressed firmly against his chest just taking him in. She would never get tired of having him this close. As the record ended and silence took over Harvey pulled back slightly. Donna was immediately hit with a wave of cold air that made her shiver, already missing his warmth.

"We should get going" Harvey said pulling back from Donna's embrace

"What?" Donna was certain that he couldn't have possibly planned anything else but Harvey was just so full of surprises today.

"The night is still young" Harvey beamed pulling Donna back towards the elevators and back into Ray's car for the next stage of Harvey's plan.

This time they arrived on a street that Donna knew all too well and she knew exactly what he had planned next the moment Ray had stopped the car. They were going to see and show that was on Broadway. The only question is which one? She had been dying to see Hamilton but it sold out before she could even get the chance to go and even she couldn't get any tickets. She was Donna, if she couldn't get tickets Harvey wouldn't be able to either right. After all Donna had always been better at the kind of stuff. No it's impossible she thought as she got out of the car once more. But as they approached the Richard Rodgers theatre it was obvious that somehow he had done the impossible. In one afternoon he had managed to get tickets to the most sold out theatre production ever for the very same night.

"Harvey you have to be kidding me" Donna almost snorted out in disbelief

"What" He chuckled out innocently knowing that she had wanted to see this show for months it occurred to him the owner of the theatre owed him big time and with one phone call that day he was told that there were actually two prime seats that they could take. Something to do with the couple he originally kept the tickets for having to go out of town unexpectedly. The fact he got these tickets was half pure luck and half miracle.

"You got us both seats to see Hamilton" Donna almost squealed with joy.

"Not any old seats but I got us seats in the Orchestra section right at the front of the stage and I got backstage passes" Harvey added He reaction was more than he ever could have hoped for. Seeing her happy was all he ever wanted to do and it made his heart swell with admiration for this beautiful woman in front of him.

"I love you so much" She mumbled taking him slightly by surprise as she crashed her lips onto his almost knocking the air out of him. Although something strange happened when she pulled back. It was almost like she literally couldn't breathe. She lay her palm on her chest and started to breathe heavily.

"Donna what's wrong?" Harvey was suddenly overcome with worry. What the hell was happening was this just all too much for her.

"Nothing" she gasped for another gust of air "I think I just got too excited" she smiled as she managed to get her breathing to become a little more regular, though it was still heavy. Harvey shrugged off the little scare as he knew how much the theatre meant to Donna and she could get over excited on occasion so they made their way to their seats and Donna rested her head on Harvey's shoulder as they waited for the performance to begin. Harvey had never been a massive fan of the theatre but Donna loved it and he loved Donna so it was something he was willing to learn to love for her.

The first half of the performance was everything that Donna had hoped for. It exceeded all of her expectations and although she already knew most of the songs already it was like she was hearing them for the first time. She was completely immersed in the plot and the characters. Despite this there was still something bothering her. She felt a strange knotting sensation radiate through her chest. She was breathing more heavily while concentrating very hard on making sure that Harvey didn't notice. When the interval finally came around she knew she had to get away for a moment and get it under control. She felt as though her chest was slowly tightening and pushing all of the air out of her lungs.

"I'm just going to pop to the ladies room" she had said to Harvey before scurrying off. She went into the packed toilets and simply leaned on the counter allowing herself to breathe deep and heavily for a few minutes. Most women just gave her odd looks or just ignored her like she was just some fangirl having a stupid panic attack until one woman finally approached her. It was noisy so it was hard to hear Donna's gusty breaths but the look on her face told this woman that she needed help.

"Are you okay" She said softly and kindly. She was a younger woman than Donna, probably more around Rachel's age if she had to guess. She had a sweet look about her that told Donna instantly that this woman was kind hearted and friendly. Her dress was nice but not designer leading Donna to believe she was probably seated near the back. The slight mark on her left hand was an observation Donna made quite quickly. She wasn't wearing a ring now but she had done recently making her think she married young and it had ended in a divorce. He hair was long and brunette and was tied up into a bun with stands coming down to frame her face. She had obviously done it herself and it was actually impressive. She could be a hairdresser Donna thought to herself. This was something Donna always did when she met new people. In this instance it gave her something else to think about which she was very appreciative for.

"Um.." Donna came to a conclusion that this woman could be helpful after she felt a shooting pain spread across her chest towards her shoulders "Can… you… do me… a favor?" Donna managed to get out between heavy breaths. The panic that was now rising within her not helping the situation one bit. The intermission was now over and everyone had returned to their seats leaving Donna alone with the woman who now was missing the show.

The woman simply nodded and placed a comforting hand on Donna's shoulder "My boyfriend… is sat in… row B… seat 110…" she got out before the woman took over allowing Donna to catch her breath.

"Sure I'll go and get him" She smiled and left Donna. She was really finding it hard to get any oxygen at all into her lungs but she knew that Harvey wouldn't be able to go into the ladies so she slowly made her way out of the door to lean on the wall outside. She was there for less than a minute before Harvey had come rushing up with the kind woman in tow.

"Oh my God Donna" He practically shouted as he ran to her supporting the weight out her body as she was slumped against the wall. Two of the theatre staff who were positioned at the doors had now also come over to make sure that everything was okay. Donna was not a fan of the crowd now forming around her.

"Can you call an ambulance" He turned to the young lady who had come to get his and she quickly obliged getting out her phone and dialin 911.

"Thank you" Donna managed to speak as the woman hung up. Harvey was way to preoccupied with her to remember his manors at this moment.

"It's absolutely no problem is there anything else I can do" she said watching Harvey support Donna feeling a bit too helpless

"No its okay I am going to get her outside for some fresh air" Harvey answered as Donna was now completely unable to answer "Here" he said giving the woman their tickets "Feel free to take out seats, someone should get to enjoy the best seats in the house" he said in appreciation to the young woman before carrying Donna out of the stalls with help from the theatre staff. They were in the lobby of the theatre waiting for the ambulance. The staff went to the doors to wave in the ambulance when it arrive leaving Donna in Harvey's arms.

"Harvey" Donna croaked out

"Shh" he waved her off "Don't speak just keep breathing, the ambulance will be here soon" he stoked her hair trying to calm her down

"I think… I'm… going to" She continued despite Harvey's objections "pass out"

"No you're not the ambulance is going to come and then you will be fine" He insisted

It took another 5 minutes for the ambulance to finally arrive and Donna was on the verge of completely passing out. She saw the terrified look on Harvey's face and almost wished she had passed out so she wouldn't have to see it. He had planned her the perfect evening and she had gone and screwed it all up. Soon the theatre became a blur of people and paramedics and before she knew it an oxygen mask had been placed on her face supplying an instant relief to Donna's chest.

As soon as they arrived at the hospital Donna was taken to a room to be examined but the oxygen thy had given her in the ambulance had made her feel much better. The doctor was quick with his diagnosis after she told him about her radiation treatment that she had been receiving for 3 weeks now. It seemed whatever was happening now had something to do with that. She knew something was going to happen, she had experience so few side effects she spent half her time waiting for the other shoe to drop. Donna was given some steroids to take and the Doctor called Harvey into the room per Donna's request

"What happened?" Harvey asked the Doctor as he took hold of Donna's hand. She was still wearing the oxygen mask to help her breath but she wasn't in anywhere near as much pain as before. She had honestly felt like she was going to simply run out of air.

"It seems the radiation treatment that Donna has been receiving has caused her to develop Radiation Pneumonitis" The doctor stated "It is fairly common with the treatment but Donna's case was especially bad"

"But she's going to be okay right" Harvey questioned

"Yes, we have given her steroids that will reduce the effects of the radiation pneumonitis but over the next few weeks you may still experience a cough, dyspnoea, a low fever, chest discomfort and pleuritic pain. If your symptoms get really bad your treatment may well be adjusted but we are optimistic that the steroids should keep the symptoms in check"

Donna would ordinarily thank the doctor but the oxygen mask on her face prevented her from saying anything. She gave Harvey a small nudge when an awkward silence started to descended on the room and he seemed to get the hint as he turned and thanked the doctor.

"Donna you have to stop doing this" He said as he softly placed a kiss on her hand "you can't keep making me worry like that"

Donna smiled and raised her hand to remove her mask so that she could speak. The steroids they had given her were starting to kick in and she could finally breathe normally again. But her movement was not well accepted by Harvey.

"Don't leave it on" he said batting her hand away slightly but Donna continued anyway

"I love you" she whispered as she slid the mask over her head "I'm sorry I ruined your date"

"Donna it doesn't matter" he leaned down and placed his lips on hers "I will just have to organize something even better to make up for it"


End file.
